It had been a long day for Emily. She had been working since the early morning, helping her father at the bridge. Her father was a man of 50 years, so he could use the help of a young girl of 15 with his work, which mainly consisted of pulling this lever or that to raise or lower the bridge. It was summer, so, for lack of anything else to do, Emily helped her father with the levers. They were rather old, rusty things, for the bridge was an old and rusty one too. Every now and then a barge would move through and they would have to raise the bridge to allow it to pass underneath. It was a slightly foggy afternoon, with a sky overcast and seemingly painted in variations of gray. The sky seemed just one huge canvas for some abstract painter having a heyday with a work best titled something like “emotional overshadow in gray.”1
So, boringly, the afternoon passed by with the imminent chance of rain that never seemed to happen. As time dragged on, and on, Emily looked up at the clock and realized that it was five o'clock.2
Closing time.3
She woke her father, because she had just been on watch for the past three hours, which had seen no barges.4
“That's strange”, she thought, “There are usually one or two that come through at about four on tuesdays... Oh well, I'm going home”5
She suddenly realized that she was quite cold... Very cold, in fact. Her fingers were almost numb.6
“Damn Air-Conditioning!! Why can't we ever seem to shut that thing off!!”7
She put on her hooded jacket, black, her favorite color.. To match her hair. And zipped it up.8
As she took one last look out the window, she suddenly realized that she had left the bridge up for the last barge. There usually wasn't any traffic going across the bridge, nobody used trains these days.9
She went to the lever to switch the bridge down, and started to pull.10
“Damn!! It's stuck!”11
She pulled harder.12
It didn't budge.13
In the distance, she heard the horn of a passenger train.14
She suddenly realized that if she didn't get the bridge down, there was going to be a large problem.15
A LARGE problem!!16
She pulled harder and harder, with her numbed hands.17
As she called out to her father for help, she realized that he'd already left the small building to go warm up the car, so it was just her. She alone was standing between the train and destruction.18
Frantically, she pulled. She pulled, her fingers slipping gradually from the lever as the train's whistle grew louder and louder.19
The bridge was going down, she was almost there, there was only a small bit left that she had to do.20
With renewed vigor, she pulled on the lever to get the last few inches of it back.21
Her numb hands were so close to slipping, but she held on.22
And held on.23
And pulled24
And pulled.25
Until suddenly, her fingers slipped and the force of her pull shoved her against the opposite wall of the shack, her face against the window, looking out.26
As she looked out, she saw the train, unable to stop, trusting in the bridges progress, hit the gap between the two parts of the bridge, get jarred from the tracks and plummet into the river below.27
And through a lighted window in the train, she swore she saw a young boy of about 10 looking up at her, hands pressed against the window right before the train hit the river, with an expression that could only be described as pure sorrow.28
Emily fell to her knees and cried as the misty day cleared itself from her sight, and she once again was forced to drag herself from the depths of her life and confront reality.29
Author notes
What is with all of these stories about everyday heroes who do their best and succeed against seemingly insurmountable odds? They all seem to say nothing of any meaning, but only the everyday propaganda that "You can do anything you want if you try hard enough"... That is not reality!
Yet neither is this...
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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different, individual and special, I liked this a lot. Good job, thanks for the entry, and good luck.
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This had me on the edge of my seat till the end. And yes, this IS reality. We often don't realize this. Very, very vivid images, with very nice descriptive words...Felt like I was there. (Glad I wasn't
) I love this. Great job, you should write more. 
~Lana
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MasterBlaster, I see where you're coming from, but I prefer to keep the story with a surreal aspect, which leaves it in such a state that it seems more like a bad dream than a reality. If all fiction did was tell life as it is realistically, then there wouldn't be much point in a story about a disaster such as this. Even then, though, I do not think that the ending is particularly unrealistic. Sometimes a thing can be so completely devastating that one automatically goes beyond hysterics into utter personal despair... The beauty of the thing, if it is beautiful, is in the silent, inactive tragedy of it all. The ending, so far as I can see, should leave you puzzling over exactly what it is that's happening. Perhaps it is too obscure or too clear, though...
Edited on Jan 19, 2:11 p.m. because 'Words, words, words'. -
I don't think anybody has any idea what reality really is. I personally think its both the superhero and the failure. Its just like the old sane: "you win some and you lose some, you can't win them all". Well that's like two sanes, but oh well. I don't believe that this is wholy reality, but actually a part of it. But that's just one person's opinion. In any case, awsome piece. Well, later! -Justin-
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I just loved it!
That was a great narrative poem I could see the child looking on as the train jumped track and plummet. Very vivid imagry and you instilled a sense of pitty for Emilys' efforts too!!! It was indeed thrilling and I loved the read. Please critic a poem. -
Whar a wonderful write!!!!!!
I enjoyed it alot !
Thanks for Sharing!
Night Dragon .............. -
Good writing, with suspense and emotion. Well thats life. Good work, B
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I thought the tone you set "Sunday school picnic" added to the surreal effect of the poem. It was an interesting way to send your message. Very dark, but the work is good. Keep writing!
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It was good the only thing that the end was a little to matter of fact, it left me feeling someone who had just seen a train with who knows how many people on board plummit into to a river I dont think one would have just felt pure sadness I think she would have gone to the point of near hysterics and horror would have shown, as for a another feeling ,fear, would they blame her? this would be another emotion at least the way I think, I think the whole thing was void of those emotions, I'm sorry but I dont like being a hypercrit ,the idea was a good one just it needs more emotion,think about it, put yourself into her shoes, see in your minds eye the train plummiting down, the people screaming, the water spiraling up as the train hits the water,the people running to see what has happened, how you portrayed it it could have been a sundayschool picnic you were talking about.Sorry my friend but that is how it came over, at least read this then cancel it off, if I can help in any way let me know, the idea as I said is good it just needs b....
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Ha! I love it, who needs another happy ending anyway? I say on with originality! Great write, the part about the boy peering back at her was a nice touch too, Although with my sick sense of humor this poem made me laugh. Am I crazy? Anyway, good job, Keep it up!
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it is very interesting.. i was caught up and wanted to finish the story.. realistic.. and it makes me imagine myself be in the location or shall i say where the story done.. very nice indeed.. keep it up.. not a boring one..
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The end of this was a pleasent surprise and while great things sometimes happen to average people it is not the norm. I think you should let us know how dear Emily is faring now. Can she cope or has it shattered her soul beyond repair? Is there enough of her heart and mind to rebuild her life or was it no big deal? I hope you choose to expand this! Nice write very hard hitting in it's realness.
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This held a very, very good message! I agree, it's not reality. We are merely people and as I would hate to say it, we are merely normal. This was simply beautiful... I just.. loved it. It had great twists and wondrous images. I loved the ending.. This is so sad.. she tried so hard, and in the end, she jut couldn't cut it. I think this is a reality check for those who only worry about themselves.. people wallowing in their own pitiful problems. The ending made me think really showed that there are other people, with bigger problems. I don't know really what to say, but very nice work. Keep it up!
-Kayla-
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