Vampire

His eyes were a deep, rich, crimson, lips fine and delicate. I felt as if I could drown in those bloody pools, so dark, so very red. Yet they intoxicated me, pulled me into a blissful drunkenness that only he could cast upon me...1

"Come to me Ellen...." 2

He whispered his voice lucid, as silky smooth as a serpents hiss and as venomous as its bite, and though I willed my legs to stay I couldn't resist him, my feet carried me slowly to him. Wobbling in my seemingly drunken state I nearly tripped but some how I remained balanced. His crimson eye watching me, making sure I continued towards him, that sickening grin stretching his once handsome face. 3

"Good girl, I knew you'd come to me..."4

He smiled at me and offered a granite hand, I reached from him, clinging to his wrist and then I was pulled roughly against his chest in a stony embrace. He held me there, burying his face in my hair and breathing in the mixed strawberry scent of my newest shampoo. 5

"You smell delicious..." 6

He purred in my ear, my soft blue eyes widening in fear at the hint of lust in his voice. His hand ran along my back sending icy chills deep into my spine. 7

"Please...please don't hurt me...." 8

I whimper, my voice weakened with fear and mixed exhaustion. I raise my pleading eyes to meet his suddenly softened face, and he smiled again gracefully charming as always. The tips of elongated canine showing pearly white against his pale peach lips. 9

"Don't worry, you wont feel a thing..." 10

His voice suddenly slipping away into the darkness of my mind, I can feel the conscious world slipping swiftly away. Screaming in horror as his fangs lightly prick against my neck, and then suddenly its peaceful, like nothing ever happened.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • moonwriter
    July 30

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    I want more! I know that can't be complete, but that was incredible for what you have. Beautifully captivating imagery and descriptions mixed with such an interesting style! Please, extend this! I loved what you wrote! Great job!


  • dreaminwriter
    July 15

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    very short, seeming a little...uncomplete. well written, though. could you be more creative with the title do you think?


  • dancindream
    June 27

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    wow

    u write beautifully! I loved reading this, because i love vampire stories. In the beggining tho, I thought it was way to similar to twilight, ecspecially the way u described him as granite and her smeelling like strawberry shampoo, lol thatss exactly the same as twilight! so, its okay if you were influenced by another novel, but you should always make sure it doesnt become to similar. But forgetting thta, I must say again, you write really really good! I truly enjoyed this read!!
    Thanks for entering =)

  • atyla
    June 11
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    MORE!!

    this is great! it had me at the first paragraph ad left me thirsting for more!! Great job!!


  • dark-fantasies
    May 29
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    I really liked this- it was very well written, but too short for its own good. There were certain bits of it that reminded me of a vampire romance I'd read, and I felt that when she was bitten there at the end it was a little bit rushed. But apart from that, this story was very interesting and enjoyable to read.


  • Vampiric souls
    May 19
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    This is some real beautiful work, I loved it, and think that it is great


  • ainshbu
    May 16
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    its really good i have never read something like this and it should be interesting


  • Blue Eyed Beauty
    May 15
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    That was good!! I would have liked it to be longer though.


  • Friesian gold member
    May 15

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    WoW!

    Oh, this was beautiful!!! The deep, dark aua about it sent chills down my spine-which is exactly whst I want to happen while reading a good vampire story! The imagery was incredable!!! Oh, I love the dark seduction in this! So intoxicating to me! I LOVE stories with gorgeous descrpitons, powerful plots, and bitter-sweet dialogue! EXCELLENT job! I abosultely adored it! A wonderful use of the prompt! Good luck and have a splendid day!

    -Lissy

1 - 9 of 9