Scared Stiff

On Saturday afternoons, the neighborhood children crowded into our little pink bathroom on the ground floor. Its tiny window was opened, allowing an additional lucky few the chance to crane their necks in hope of a good view. In the tiled corner stood a 10 gallon fish tank that had been converted into a lidded desert terrarium. 1

There was a good deal of nudging, bumping and jockeying for position. This was transformed into a hushed parting (as of the Red Sea) to allow the adult officiator into the space left vacant next to the transparent tank. With an intensity, fascinated horror, and degree of bloodthirstiness that might have been noted at an Aztec sacrificial rite, we held our breaths as the high priest’s hand descended.2

A small white laboratory mouse, whose contributions were no longer needed at a nearby University, was lowered by his tail into the glass box. The lid was replaced. 3

The mouse had never met a snake before, but he soon learned all about them. It was the last thing he learned. The hungriest horned sidewinder would stalk the exploring mouse and strike it. Regardless of where it bit, it’d hang on and throw a few coils around its dinner, then squeeze like a constrictor. When it no longer sensed efforts to breathe, it would loosen its grip and gradually work its mouth to the mouse’s nose. Then the slow process of swallowing the mouse began. The advancing jaw would grip, then loosen and pull forward, grip, loosen, pull forward, the jaws stretching and stretching, until the snake had pulled itself over the mouse. We watched, mesmerized, until the tip of the mouse tail disappeared.4

***5

As a favorite biology and sciences teacher, many of Dad’s students had kept in touch with him over the years. Frank, who had moved to Arizona, called with an offer to send him some of the many sidewinder rattlesnakes that inhabited his new area. The anticipated package was opened with great care. It contained three live snakes. Dad took them in their tank to class to demonstrate the hunting/feeding process, but their home was in my bathroom.6

At some point Mom became adamant that the snakes had to go. When Dad’s cajoling failed to win her over, he realized that they would make really neat skeletons for his classroom. But how could you kill them without damaging the skeletons? Eventually, he decided on freezing them. How long do you freeze a snake to make sure it is good and dead? Snakes can ball up in the winter and freeze solid, only to thaw out in the spring and crawl off, doing their snakey thing. Better leave them for, oh, six months ought to do. He transferred them into a large green plastic tub, secured the lid, and settled them into a corner of the big chest freezer out in the workshop.7

A lot can happen in six months. The long and the short of it was, they were forgotten.8

Our parents had planned an evening out, and a nearby neighbor’s young teen was engaged to babysit. Julie read us some stories, then started getting a simple supper ready. Oops, out of bread. 9

“Where do your parents keep the spare bread, kids?” 10

“Out in the freezer in the shed.” 11

“Fine. I’ll be right back.” 12

The light switch was just inside the door. With some initial effort she got the heavy lid up, and rummaged among the popsicles, gallon ice creams, frozen pie shells, and odd pastries. No bread. But they always had spare bread, she’d borrowed it often enough before. She noticed the big green tub, large enough to hold a few loaves. Maybe that protected it from freezer burn? Balancing the freezer lid on top of her head to have both hands free, she pulled the bucket towards her, and twisted the lid off. Apparently the snakes had been highly resentful of their treatment, for they had frozen reared up in strike position, as near the lid as they could reach.13

Her screams were heard for quite a distance. As she jumped back, the freezer lid dropped with a slam. She even abandoned us to run home, shrieking. A long time passed before Julie would come over for a visit, and nothing could ever entice her into the shed again. For years she would blanch and twitch whenever someone said, “Sssnakesss!”14