Vile Dependancy

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“What's that sound,” Amy asked from the top of the stairs. As she crept down into the dark, dusty basement of our rented apartment.2

Looking towards her I Shook my head, not knowing at all what she was talking about. The house was silent all but the television that I sat in front of attentively admiring the Woman that had themselves tied, and chained up steel plated wall.3

Reaching the bottom of the steps Amy Grinned wickedly.4

“Oh Sara it might be that creepy pedophile, serial killer everyone keeps talking about, or worse your ex boyfriend,” Amy laughed, her usual high pitch voice, deepening into a slightly disturbing manner.5

Giving her a strange look, I threw the remote across the stained coffee table, reaching out for my girlfriends waist. My arms finding her warm body, pulling her closer towards the couch.6

“Did I ever tell you how fucking hot you are when your scared out of you fucking brains?” I said,my fingers finding her black studded belt, scrapping my hands across it ; intent of feeling my skin break under the sharpened edges.7

Nodding I felt the weight of her body crashing lightly on top of mine, as she pushed me down onto my back. Pulling my legs around my waist.8

“Maybe, but did I ever tell you how badly I need a rough, thick, erect cock pounding its way deep into my pulpy filled pussy?”9

Estranged by her statement, I pushed her hands away from my things. Moving my body back into an upright position.10

“I thought we agreed after Tim there was to be no mention of cocks, especially when were about to fuck?”11

Nodding Amy retreated back to grabbing my thighs, brisk fully she toyed with my belt. Unclasping it with her bruised fingers.12

Looking down, I saw her usually tanned clear skin, stained with what looked to be patches of blood, and grazes of torn flesh. All the way across, almost like a pattern,stopping tight at the tip of her wrists.13

Taking her wrist in my hand, I turned her arm over seeing deep bruises of fresh wounds, and open cuts, extending beyond her elbow, and underneath her mesh skinned top. The blood looked to have just settles not so long ago. My heart sunk, I felt it moving, with every breath I took as tears of heartache began to stir inside my eyes.14

“What the fuck is this?” I asked, I could hear the anger in my own voice. Though it was more so the tension of disappointment of a promise she had made so long ago. “I thought you said you were okay? I though you promised me you weren't going to do this anymore.”15

Pulling her arm back sharply in defense, she threw my legs aside. Turning around to face the blaring television.16

“Amy,” I breathed, my heart moving closer towards my throat, my voice feeling hoarse. It was as if no words could escape, yet I could feel the saltiness of her betrayal slip into my chapped lips. Waiting to execute me into a rage of dignified screams.17

“AMY ANSWER ME,” I screamed, reaching for her arm again.18

Ignoring me, despite her obvious attempt to hide her own tears. She shook me of like a disappointed child, as She reached for the remote, turning the television up a few more decibels, blocking my begging voice out. 19

I knew that things had been tough the last few weeks but I never expected her to react like this. Not this, anything but this.20

Turning towards me, her eyes turned a sharp shade of Grey, Like a harsh storm bruding in the horrizon.21

“Leave it alone,”she said, almost growling at me like a vicious dog, wrenching her arm away, pulling her sleeve down quickly.22

I sat there in silence, as the tears fell onto her legs.23

I had no idea what to say, let alone what to do. Especially when she was denying me of help.24

“Just talk to me,” I whispered, hoping she would hear.25

Standing up, she switched the television of, and made her way towards the stairs.26

“I told you to leave it,” she barked bitterly, walking away. 27


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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Lady Eventide Greeters member
    August 25, 2008

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    A most wonderful story you have here. I think the meaning behind it and the characters are really well planned... well thought out. I would suggest a few changes to the story, but all the changes I would suggest are rather minor. Well done. VERY TOUCHING!


  • Reaver Greeters member
    June 10, 2008

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    This was very emotional. Your placement was well done, leaving room for a wonderful flow that unfolded sadness, disappointment and anger. Very well done with this. I loved it! I hope you continue. Durian


  • XxTattered WingsxX
    June 9, 2008

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    I really don't know what to say on this one. The imagery was... wow. I almost started crying. I guess that's how I feel when somebody noticed the fresh wounds. I loved how you could just feel her disappointment, confusion, anger, and pain all mixing together into one indescribable emotion. This is a story I am for sure interested in. Perhaps its because it is so brilliantly written or because I can relate easily to it. Either way it goes, you did a wonderful job. Leaves me feeling anxious. Anxious to find out why she did it and even more so why she did it when her girlfriend was so near.


  • Hismercy
    May 13, 2008

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    She barked bitterly


    A dramatic story Blair !

    Is it possible to ask what inspired you to write this story ? ....and don't say my favorite rocker dude

    -Hismercy

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • LadyLionnir
    May 13, 2008

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    It's good, Blair, it really is. I just wish you would tell me what's going on (?). You still sound upset. Anyway, I love the detail and the pain, but the feeling of love beneath it all. I'm curious to see what you could do with this. It does have a lot of potential, as all of your stories do!

  • Thotro Manche
    May 13, 2008

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    has potential

    I have to say this story has potential. Maybe its still in its rudimentary stage, and as you say, you'll have to work on it. One thing i'll like to say is you have to SHOW, not TELL. Its a hard thing to master, and frankly, I have been trying, in vain, to do so for quite a long time. There are grammatical and spelling errors; though I think you wrote it in haste.

    The story, in itself, was not clear about its main theme. But I guess this will be followed by another chapter(?) But like my teacher says, "too much suspense is not good for the reader."

    cheers

1 - 6 of 6