(See author notes for link to music)1
Verse 1
Walking down this road again,
Just like a thousand time before.
My feet they tread a well-worn path,
I give way again, walk through the door.2
My friend looks up and gives me with a smile,
Don't know I see what he thinks.
A shadow of all I used to be,
My only friend now, the one I drink.3
Chorus
Shut the door,
I throw the key,
I've left you;
To make it on my own.
I don't know you God;
Let me live my life,
Without you.
I'll make it on my own.
I'll make it on my own.4
Verse 2
I sit and smile from miles away,
Remember a time when I had more;
Laughter, smiles and hugs at night;
But this is now, that was before.5
Taken away far from this world,
How could something so good be gone so fast?
I sit and stare into the drink;
And it's only my face in the glass.6
Chorus
Shut the door,
I throw the key,
I've left you;
To make it on my own.
I don't know you God;
Let me live my life,
Without you.
I'll make it on my own.
I'll make it on my own.7
Bridge
Falling and Floating,
Spinning and tumbling,
Got no direction,
I'm a child lost in a storm.
Let me out, I'm tired of this life,
Don't want to be here any more.8
Chorus
Shut the door.
I throw the key,
I've left you;
To make it on my own.
I don't know you God;
Let me live my life,
Without you.
Shut the door,
I throw the key,
I've left you;
To make it on my own.
I don't know you God;
Let me live my life,
Without you.
I'll make it on my own.
I'll make it on my own.9
Author notes
Doesn't have a huge deal of rhyming sorry, but it does have some. Hope you enjoy
Here be the link to the song http://soundclick.com/share?songid=4916889 hope you enjoy it.
- Youth Group for Christian Writers group list • next in list
A contest entry
- String A Song On My Guitar by Asfand.
200 points, ended June 9, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Song Lyric contest by Coldplayer.
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• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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I am not sure if this song is supposed about despair or spiritual abandonment... Hm. I'm also not sure how the name has to do with the song (and I know a lot of songs where the title is not sung at any point in the song, too).
Still, that doesn't mean the song is bad. It's actually very good, like with your other work. More good flow, metaphors and such.
A tip though, for future reference - don't overkill the choruses. In the last part, it's almost a chorus repeat, save for skipping the last two lines in the middle. Maybe it's just me, but I think choruses shouldn't used more than three times. Only go over that if there are a lot of verses. Repeating lines that many times (like pop singers do, ugh; though I am not saying you did that - pop singers repeat verses and choruses over and over and over sometimes) seems like cheating the audience out of a verse of lyrics.
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I suppose this song is a tad unfair, being the third song out of a concept album, if you start to dig into the meaning, you get lost.
Anyway, first song, her husband and kids die in a car crash. Second song she goes into depression, drinking, etc. This song she's blaming God for her lose, turning her back on him, asking why he did it. Fourth song is an instrumental piece covering a four month gap in the story. Fifth song she's contemplated suicide, and is just about to do it when, sixth song, another crash happens, someone else has lost their family, but they're very badly hurt (she wasn't). She realises that she's not so bad off, at least she wasn't hurt. Seventh song, starts really thinking about things. Realises she's been a bit of a drama queen, after all, her family are safe in Heaven (Christian). Eighth song, she works out why God let her family die, but she didn't. She loved them and put them before God. Eventually she would have turned her back well and truly on Him, and wound up in Hell. So he took them to Heaven, left her to work it out.
For the choruses. For this song, it does actually work. There is a guitar solo between the bridge and last chorus, so by the time you get to it, there's a long enough wait that the other isn't fresh in our mind. Plus once through was to short. The song ended to fast, had to do the repeat for the best sound. Just to lazy to write more words, couldn't work out what to write.
But that's a good point, but you gotta end on a double chorus sometimes, or the music sounds cheesy. That's what I've found.
Heh, sorry for the monster reply.
Glad you enjoyed! -
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Ah, I see - a progressive album that is telling a story. I understand - I do that too.
You're reasons are understandable. We all have our preferences, and you have yours. I was just telling you my thoughts.
Great idea on the progressing story, I must say. Few people use that idea.
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Wow, that's some serious shit...
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Thank you.
Hopefully the rest of the album will be as good.
Thanks for the applause and comment!
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I could have sworn I read and commented on this...huh...oh well!
Anyways...
Great song Dan! Wooooooowzers!
LOVE IT!!! -
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Thank you Glad you enjoyed it
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liked the song.
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Danke.
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love it dude
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Oh. Right. Link... hehehe
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I can hear that as a song xD probably not what you had in mind... let me hear it once you put it to music!
~Dasha~
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Thank you.
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Loved it. It's sad, but beautiful.
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Thank you
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I thought this was superb. Absolutely stunning sense of rhythm and beat, it would do brilliantly. I love the topic, very genuine, very emotionally connective.
The chorus - not a big fan of it. It's rather abrupt following the line of the actual verses.
I'll make it own my own
--> I'll make it ON my own (perhaps because the other doesn't make sense)
Ah well, apart form my nitpicking, excellent!
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Thank you I'm really glad you enjoyed it.
Heh, the chorus was the part that I wrote, singer for the band wrote the verses. Guess she's a better lyricist then me
I can't believe I missed that "own my own" thank you for pointing it out, it's fixed now
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Touching. I can't really say anything more than that.
I tried to make a band but I'm supercrap with my guitar. I don't even know what the proper guitar notes are; I use a tab. Meh, I'm better with my sax anyway.
--RT
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Glad it's touching, means we succeeded in our job.
Sax is cool, I wish I could play, but I don't have the time to learn
One day maybe...
>.> I use tab a lot... my old guitar teacher has commented on how well I can turn the meaningless numbers on the paper into something that sounds really good, pretty much first time playing it
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I love this song =) Its like...the first thing you sent me when we met xD I still love it.
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Thank you. I'm glad you enjoy it.
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