Phobic pt 12

In the lab- Russell and Kathleen1

Kathleen’s face grew thoughtful as she watched one of the computer screens, looking from Kalah’s dark expression to Judson’s intense one, from Kade’s angry expression to Annabelle’s frightened one, from Shana’s nervous expression to Devon’s confused one. Watching them over time as she had been doing, she felt almost like she was in there with them, experiencing what they were experiencing not as an outside observer, but nearly as part of their group, another one of them. She had known that she would begin to relate to them so personally… it bothered her, for she knew it kept her from maintaining the professional, scientific unbias that she was supposed to exhibit. The attitude that Russell exhibited, and thus expected from her as well…2

She suspected that he was more than a little impatient with her questions and concern, her growing unease at what they were doing, and Kathleen hated that… she hated disappointing him, hated causing him to think that she might not be able to be the kind of assistant that she needed to be, that RUSSELL needed her to be. But at the same time she couldn’t help but worry as she watched the six participants in their movements, could not help but feel guilt at their fear and bewilderment. She could not help but imagine herself and her own emotions, were she in their place… 3

The longer she watched them, the more Kathleen felt that she knew them, that they seemed to become people with personalities and quirks and, of course, fears… real people, rather than the abstract “participants” that Russell seemed more comfortable viewing them as. And the longer she watched them, the more she hated what she was doing. She hated watching; she hated knowing what was happening to them and why, and not being able to reassure them. 4

She hated the entire experiment and the pain it was causing the six people in those rooms. She wanted to stop it, to find some way to end it entirely… but she couldn’t. She couldn’t even express her wish to do so, and she knew it.5

Still, Kathleen found herself smiling as Kalah Peyton, the pink-haired girl who was the youngest of the group, nearly hit the nail on the head with her declaration that whoever had placed them in the rooms didn’t want to hurt them, but rather to scare them. She liked Kalah- the teen had a dry feistiness and toughness that Kathleen didn’t possess now, let alone at eighteen. She was one of the most active and outspoken in her opinions and theories,as unpopular as they might be; surprisingly enough, to Russell as well, Kathleen suspected, Kalah was turning out to be something of a leader out of the six, in spite of her youth and her physical appearance.6

She hoped that Kalah would figure out entirely what was really going on, or at least enough that she and the others would calm down. If Kathleen couldn’t stop the experiment herself, maybe Kalah could sabotage the rest of it.7

Russell seemed to have had the same idea occur to him; however, unlike Kathleen, he was clearly not pleased by it. He frowned at the computer screen he had been gazing at intently his eyebrows knitting as his blue eyes darkened.8

“The girl- Kalah Peyton- she’s skating rather close the the truth here,” he muttered with some resentment. “If she figures it out, she could cancel out all effects of the experiment. The results won’t be vaild if any of them know or expect what’s going on. Damn it…”9

Kathleen remained quiet, carefully keeping her face turned from his as she watched the six figures on the screen talking. Yet again they were debating over what was going on, whether they should continue moving forward or stay put. Kathleen wondered what she herself would do in their situation… she had an uncomfortable and shameful feeling that her reaction would be more like Annabelle Sheridan’s than any of the others’- Annabelle, the poor young woman who was too petrified to be of any use even before facing her particular phobia.10

Which person would Russell react like? She wondered to herself. Judson Tavish? Or would he react like Kade Eamon?11

Kathleen had been astonished at the formerly silent, seemingly emotionless Kade’s sudden, violent reaction and subsequent near attack of Annabelle Sheridan after one of Annabelle’s crying jags. She had not dreamed the young man to capable of such actions, nor had his companions, judging from their stunned reactions. Kade’s abruptly viscious behavior, then sudden return to his former silence, had only served to amplify Kathleen’s anxiety for him and the others. The longer she took part in this experiment, the more wrong and dangerous it felt to her…12

“You don’t suppose her injections are wearing off, do you, Kathleen?” Russell asked her suddenly, and Kathleen started, turning to face him and flushing, certain he would read the guilt in her eyes and know her thoughts.13

“Well, no, I don’t think so, Dr. Patrick,” she nearly stammered, averting her eyes slightly, as she tried to keep her voice neutral. “She doesn’t seem to be remembering anything so much as speculating… you’re talking about Kalah Peyton, right? The youngest girl?”14

“Yes, her,” Russell muttered, some resentment coloring his tone, tightening his features. “No, I don’t expect she does remember. But if she figures it out…”15

He shook his head, jaw tightening, as if the very thought frustrated him, even angered him. Kathleen had to wait a few moments before replying, long enough to make sure that both her voice and expression were appropriately neutral.16

“Oh, I’m sure they won’t, Dr. Patrick.”17

Russell shook his head again, exhaling. 18

“They’d better not,” he said tightly, sounding almost like a petulant child. “After all the time and effort I put into this, if it’s all blown by one teenaged smart mouth… maybe I should have picked a different girl, surely I could have chosen a varied group that didn’t also contain a person who might figure it out. If she does..”19

His words trailed off, and Kathleen almost thought that there was an ominous edge to them. As he turned back to the computer screens, she watched Russell furtively. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a good idea if Kalah figured it out after all… what would Russell do if she did?20