Just Carry On [Song]

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I look back on a yesterday
when the sidelines were a blur,
upon erred paths my feet did stray
over right roads my soul deters,4

I lie on the dirty sidewalk
drugged by life's deepest love,
the rhythm of my heart beat stalks,
the very shadows of my beloved,5

singing hymns that are bitter-sweet
tastes tangy as the trusts I cheat,
oh mama, I remember those days,
when the sun seemed unending
and laughter always swayed,6

 but now the road to home -7

lies dusty.8

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I'm gonna carry on, just carry on,
I'm gonna carry on, just carry on,
no matter what they say or do
no matter if you're with me or not,
it makes no difference;
I'm just gonna carry on and on.11

I shed no stifled tears today
nor hold them inside for another day,
I just carry on in wake of vain
just as the pain that comes and wanes.12

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My steps erred upon the cross-roads
I never knew what was right and wrong,
just nine years old when off I rode
never knowing where I belong, 14

Ohhhh mama, you just left me lying,
by the silence of your side,
and I just lay there crying,
with eyes white with tears,15

and now I've shed,16

more then just your love.17

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I'm gonna carry on, just carry on,
I'm gonna carry on, just carry on,
no matter what they say or do
no matter if you're with me or not,
it makes no difference;
I'm just gonna carry on and on.21


I'm gonna carry on, just carry on,
I'm gonna carry on, just carry on,
no matter what they say or do
no matter if you're with me or not,
it makes no difference;
I'm just gonna carry on and on.22

I wish I could show you the scars
make you believe my love is there,
I wish I could let you know at last,
the trust you knew is still here.23

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Ohhh mama, just remember in your peace,
my love for you will never cease,
I may be gone today
but tomorrow is another day,26

so just hear me whisper now,27

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I'm gonna carry on -
just carry on.29

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Author notes

My first song. *pouts and puffs*

For all instrumentation and perception, look here, in the Authors' Notes:

http://allpoetry.com/poem/4060695

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • Sidewalk Avenue
    August 12
    Edit | Reply
    Hmm, for your first song it was pretty good. It had a good rhyme scheme but I also think that it rhymes too perfecty in some parts. As well, it felt more like a poem than a song to me. However, it was well written and heartfelt so good job. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.


  • Mag the Chodja gold member
    July 23

    Edit | Reply

    Abaddon's Cathedral

    Let's see...
    This is a first song?
    Very nice, dude. xD

    It's a great song, actually.
    It could very well be something.

    I think my favorite stanza was:
    "I shed no stifled tears today
    nor hold them inside for another day,
    I just carry on in wake of vain
    just as the pain that comes and wanes."

    The lyrics are rather inspirational, and it just screams what life is all about - carrying on.

    I'm a bit groggy, and I had to read this a couple times because of it (it's morning, xD), so I'm going to endeavor to surmise that the first portion is about deceiving a loved one and the second is about a mother passing? Or is 'mama' just an endearment for the love lost? Thinking about it, that latter assumption is probably closer, but feel free to inform me. ^^

    Great song, good repetition. Good luck in my contest. ^^

  • peggi
    July 7
    Edit | Reply
    This is really nice


  • Caradoc
    July 7

    Edit | Reply
    You know, I really liked this. I hope you find someone to sing it and do it justice, because this was pretty good. I give you three clappys for this one!


  • Hloverofpeace
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing.
    Are you a singer..?
    cause this song would be great to sing..

    i myself am a song writter and a singer...
    and when i read this one, it left me breathless


    good job! really

    • Asfand
      July 5
      Edit | Reply
      I can't sing to save my life!! So I suppose I'll stick to songwriting instead!

      Thank you so much for the comment!


  • therenaissancegirl
    July 4
    Edit | Reply
    You should sing it and put it on youtube. That'd be pretty awesome.


  • Neviah-Hatake
    July 4

    Edit | Reply

    Awesome!!!

    i like this song! Well, the lyrics. I haven't HEARD it. Lol. Nice job, though. I really enjoyed it.

    ps- sorry for all the comments I'm leaving, I just want you to know how good you are!! (:

    love,
    Neviah


  • bethann93
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    This was very good. It caught my attention. Great job! It was enjoyable to read, and there was a ton of emotion throughout the song.


  • Winterchill gold member
    July 4

    Edit | Reply

    Very interesting

    I caught my attention quickly, because it was good! i thought it was an interesting song, plus a good 1st


  • Wickedruby1 gold member
    June 13

    Edit | Reply

    Very Good

    Lyrics never sound the same to the reader as they do to the writer, these are interesting words and sad.


  • Lady Eventide Greeters member
    August 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed reading this tremendously and think that, for a first song, this is like....better than some people who've been writing songs forever. Well done. I enjoyed this very much. Has a wonderful feel to it.


  • Adelaide Blood
    May 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    well done; emotional, deep, and lyrical! i enjoyed this a lot!


  • Veritaserum
    May 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    You never fail to impress upon me the vastness of your talented pen! This was quite good for a first song...and delves colorfully into the chasms of emotion echoing from a young boy's heart.

    An enjoyable read. Now if only I could HEAR IT SOMEDAY!!!


    • Asfand
      May 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Lolxx....i'll record it somehow!! once i get a guitar and a band!!

      Thanks Michelleeeee!!!


  • Aaez
    May 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    =]..awww....it's cute.. =D.
    REally nice song. can't wait till this song wins the grammy or something xD...really...nice song. =D


  • Prodigious.Mirth gold member
    May 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was so sad- Yet empowering ^.^
    I really enjoyed the repetition- It just drives the message through the core of ur soul

    Blair~

1 - 19 of 19