The Cheese Stands Alone

March 5, 20031

Diary entry2

I wore my black skirt today because it’s Wednesday. (All my friends wear their skirts on Wednesdays.)  We think that Wednesday being the middle of the week would be the best time to make a statement and wear our skirts.  CALL SARA!!! See if we’re wearing our sweat suits tomorrow so I can have MOM go buy me one when she gets home.3

I can’t believe I have Mr. Rogers; he’s the hardest science teacher in the school.  I wish I were in Mrs. Timmons class like everybody else.  Erica says they never do anything, they just watch movies all the time!  I hate Mr. Rogers!!4

*Jess5

March 6, 2003 6

Diary Entry7

So, I’m writing a note to Chris (whom I’ve recently been giving the eye) and right as I’m about to pass it to him, Mr. Rogers calls on me to answer the question he just asked (like I was listening to his boring lecture on algae growth.) Who cares! So I get up, and hand the note to Chris and tell Mr. Rogers I don’t know the answer and that I really don’t care.  So now I’m in the hallway with all my stuff thinking about what I’ve done, but I bet everyone thinks I really told him off.8

I go back to class (when everyone left) and I apologize to him, and he gives me this extra assignment to make up for the participation points I lost, so here I am stuck with a mouse and some cardboard. I have to “record data on the mouse’s ability to find its reward in a maze, documenting it’s …” ~blah blah BLAH~ science sucks!9

*Jess10

March 7, 200311

Science Journal entry12

My rat (whom I named Madonna) is retarded.  It doesn’t listen when I tell it to do anything. I hate this project!13

*Jess14

March 8, 200315

Diary Entry16

So when I walked into the science lab and told Mr. Rogers that I’m not doing the project and he couldn’t make me and nothing he said would change my mind, he then informed me that I’d have Saturday detention… so, I’m going to talk to my other teacher, Ms. Cartwright. She can get me out of it. I love her.17

*Remember, get nails done so Lindsay can see them tomorrow * 18

*Jess19

March 8, 200320

Diary Entry21

10.00 p.m.22

I can’t believe I can’t get out of this!  She flat out told me no! That it would benefit me to do the project and that I can’t afford a Saturday detention and an incomplete.  I need help in this. Tomorrow I’m going to get Sue to help me.  She’d die to hang out with me.23

*Jess24

March 10, 200325

Diary Entry26

Jess needs me to help her with an assignment. Me, of all people! I wanted to say no, and when I started to she sounded so desperate, I felt sorry for her.  I know we used to be friends ‘til I got recycled for some “Populars”, but she didn’t have to be so mean about it. We’ll start meeting after school in the lab. We’ll see how this goes.27

~Sue28

March 15, 200329

Diary Entry30

She called me shallow and full of myself. As if she even knows me. All I did was give some suggestions every once in a while. You know, just about her clothes, and that she should get her hair done, and tried washing it once in a while, and all of a sudden she calls me a ‘‘stuck up princess.’’ Well, there goes any hope of her popularity going anywhere because of me. OH, WELL!31

5 minutes later…32

Ok, I can’t afford to not get her help. I guess I could apologize… maybe I was a little harsh, but everyone needs to hear the truth about themselves, I just can’t believe the lies she said about me!!!33

*Jess34

March 18, 200335

Diary Entry36

Jess isn’t as bad as I thought. She’s definitely a snob with no idea about anything, but I did survive.  She has an opinion on everything, and it’s always a crazy one.  The mouse isn’t making any progress, but I wouldn’t either with “Jess the Tyrant” breathing down my neck. I wish she’d just get a clue.37

~Sue38

March 19, 200339

Diary Entry40

Sue isn’t as bad as I thought. She’s definitely more honest and unique than anyone else I have met. She’s not afraid to be herself. I would invite her to lunch with the girls and me on Saturday, but what would they say? Anyways, I talked to her about the Mr. Rogers situation and she likes how he teaches and even likes the assignment with the rat (who still won’t do what I say). She wants to keep it when the project’s done, and I told her she could. She’ll have one friend now. Good for her.41

*Jess42

March 19th43

Science Journal44

The rat still won’t move. I yell, I scream, it looks at me like I’m speaking another language. I don’t know what else to do about it.45

*Jess46

March 20, 200347

Mr. Rogers,48

I’m sorry for going crazy in your class. I should care about what you’re trying to teach us and respect you in front of the class.49

10 minutes later…50

Sue suggested I should offer a written apology to Mr. Rogers as a sort of “peace agreement” to get back on good terms. He seemed to appreciate it and told me I didn’t have to do the project anymore. Thank goodness!! I just have to let Sue know and be on my way…51

* Jess52

March 21, 200353

Email54

I’m glad you got in trouble and needed my help. I’ve really wanted to be friends again, but I guess I couldn’t approach you to do it. Want to come over and spend the night Friday? My dad’s making meatloaf! Just let me know when I see you tomorrow.55

~Sue56

3 minutes later…57

What’s with that email I just got?  How crazy is that?  When did we become friends? I don’t know how that happened.  Maybe I should go and then tell her how the project is over and we can go back to the way it was… I hope so.58

March 24, 200359

Diary Entry60

I’ve never felt more ashamed in my life.  Sue found my journal.  She must have been looking for the science one (to add info since I didn’t have much) and she read it without knowing what it said.  It had the things I said about her.  She just, handed it back to me with tears in her eyes and she wrote something in it.61

I bet, as of this moment, you still don’t know why the mouse never did what you wanted. That mouse was just like you. You have everything you want placed at your feet. You don’t do anything that requires any thoughts of your own and you’re the biggest follower I have ever met.  That mouse didn’t know there was a something worth going through the maze for because all it could only see what was right in front of it, and even though you were there telling him the way to go, he didn’t step out on faith and trust it; he never moved. You’re spending your life in one place, never going anywhere and you wouldn’t have it any other way.  You have opportunities to make a difference and be a better person, but you won’t look past what’s right in front of you.62

~Sue63

So I’m out here on the front porch of her house and for the first time I don’t know what to do and what I’m wearing doesn’t matter.64