Dark. she awoke with a start, she always did. she almost never woke up like a normal person, then again there was nothing normal about Mari. she had recently befriended a shadowy guy named Hyden. He was head-over-heels for Mari. she had to admit she kinda liked him too. 1
she layed back down on the bed, "god i am so hungry" she thought. she rose and walked over to the dresser to grab some normal clothes, jeans and a t-shirt with a smart ass comment on it, just the kinda comments she loved to make. she walked silently down the hall careful not to wake up her parents, then didn't like her 2 am mourning walks in the dark alone. "i don't get why not, it helps me clear my head." she thought silently. "its not like I'm doing drug or nothin" 2
she opened the door and slipped out of the house. Taking a deep breath she walked down the stairs. It was cold but not to cold out side, just cold enough to make Mari shiver for a moment. "o well i need to get my blood moving n e ways.....blood lets go find some"she said out loud to herself. "why in the world did i say that?" she though. Blood made Mari upset and often cried at the sight of it, a slight side effect from her past cutting habit. Glancing at her arm Mari shivered again. "Bad times" she whispered gently. 3
taking a running start Mari left her driveway and began the long walk around town. Careful not to be seen she ran through a few peoples yards until she met with the sidewalk again. "wow" she said quietly, she had come across a silver dagger on the ground. she reached over and picked it up carefully, the moon reflected on it causing a small white circle on the blade. before she knew what she was doing she had grabbed it by the handle and was running back home.she reached the door and opened it carefully. 4
Walking up the stairs quietly Mari snuck back into her room. she carefully wraped the dagger in cloth and hid it in her dresser, with her unmentionables. "Hopefully none would go looking in there." Mari thought as she flopped silently on the bed and fell asleep almost instantly, dreaming of white circles on the silver perfection.5
hey wanna read the rest? go to lil dark girl and read um there!6
Author notes
yeah um still in work give me a week to put up the next chapter k?
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
got it
-
Don
This is all fine and dandy but I was too distracted by all the spelling and punctuation errors. I know that sounds bad but I can't help it! I couldn't get too in to the story because they distracted me and I thought I would let you know because what I did get into was absolutely brilliant! I loved it. The format kind of bothered me too...maybe if you made it more story formatted? I know I probably sound like a some horrible whiner and I'm sorry if you think I do! I only want to help you improve this to make it better...it really is the beginning of something more.
Would you be so kind as to inform me when you have more chapters? I will be more than happy to comment.
-
That was cool! Is t his like an ongoing series or something. I can imagine hyden being a hottie lol but wait that no the point lol. Awesome job chica.
-
wonderbread
ha, that was great. nice word chioce for description. the only suggestion i have is that you space it out a little more in between the paragreaphs. otherwise this was grand. later
-Lunatic -
uh huh.. great job.. i dont tihnk i could write a story never tryed it lol.. but yea it was good can't wait for the nxt one.. i wounder who hyden could be kinda like??? well it doesnt matter!
awseom job!
~Amber
1 - 5 of 5

