The Devil Rides a Pale Horse

The shallow night echoed with the sound of feet on a bed of freshly fallen snow. Every footstep poisoned the earth with a mixture of fire and wormwood. Every creature stood on edge and hid from the presence of the thing in the woods that night. Alabaster Moncrieff smiled; taking note of the fear he was spreading with his very appearance. And though his core burned with eternal hellfire the night was still quite chill, and he wrapped his scarf around his mouth and pulled his hood over his eyes. His quiet rage began to grow, the disdain for all living things welling up inside him. As he passed the trees began to whiter and burn from within with the corruption of his being. Alabaster had waited for a thousand years for this confrontation, ever since his soul was banished to hell the last time. This time the confrontation would have a different result. This time Alabaster knew that he could kill the holy man.1

He continued to press on through the thick foliage and the heavy snow; he seemed to move with an almost ludicrous determination. A chuckle came from behind him and Alabaster turned in the direction of the noise. But to his surprise there was no one there. The noise came once again, this time from his right. He turned once again only to be met with the same result. “Enough of this nonsense Eria; I grow quite tiered of your games.” There was another rustle and then a figure descended from the trees and landed in front of him. “Oh, Alabaster that’s just like you; all business and no fun.” Alabaster smiled wickedly and eyed his demonic counterpart. She was quite alluring in her short shirt and chaps. “You know traditionally you’re supposed to wear pants with chaps; right now I can see your undergarments. And the black hat doesn’t suit you dearest.” Eria undid the top button of her shirt then looked at Alabaster with innocent eyes. “Why? Am I making you uncomfortable hun? Maybe you want me all for yourself?” Alabaster spat angrily. “Don’t be ridiculous, I’d rather mate with a swine then touch a human. Even a mud blood like you should have some restraint.” 2

“I don’t know Alabaster, human men do have their uses. Sometimes if the mood suits me, so do the women.” Eria licked her lips with a dreamy look in her eye. “What are you doing here Eria? I have this matter completely under control.” Eria shrugged her shoulders in apathy. “Mephistopheles sent me to keep an eye on ya, and I intend to do so. Just think of me as a quiet observer.” She with drew one of the guns hanging at her side and twirled it around her index finger. “Just remember, you’re only a half demon mud blood. When the holy man gets serious those guns will become useless. How foolish of you to rely on human inventions rather than your own demonic power. But what else could I expect from the bastard child of a human slut and a shit-for-brains demon.” 3

Alabaster felt a small thud as Eria slammed the barrel of the gun into his forehead. “Shut your damn mouth Alabaster!” Alabaster erupted in laughter. “That temper you got from your father. There may be hope for you yet. Now if you want to keep that arm I suggest you kindly remove the gun from my head.” Eria pursed her lips and dug the barrel into Alabaster’s forehead. “If you ever bad mouth my family again I will blow your damn head off!” Alabaster laughed again but this time there was a hint of annoyance in his tone. “That may be, but a more probable outcome is that I would cleave you in half before you could even pull the trigger. I’ll allow you to come along if you don’t interfere. But remember this...” In an instant Alabaster disappeared and then reappeared right behind Eria. His large, muscular arm came down around her throat and in an instant his vice grip was locked. “If you ever threaten me again I will snap you like a twig!” Eria clawed at the arms of her attacker, desperately trying to breath. Alabaster held it for a few moments more, then hoisted her up and threw her face down in the snow. “Now, if we are quite finished with this little raucous, let us depart.” Eria glared at him with baleful eyes. She hated it when Alabaster forced here into such submissive circumstances; it made her feel weak and inferior. She knew that she was, but she had spent her entire life trying to change that. And now Alabaster had seen her vulnerable and it made Eria sick to her stomach. Finally she picked herself up and they both began to walk towards the clearing at the center of the forest.4

5

Orin felt uneasy. The meeting that was about to take place was a historic event and yet he could not help but feel like a darkness loomed overhead. For over one-thousand years his ancestors had kept the world safe from the forces of darkness and there had been war between the races ever since the first Holy Warrior had killed the first demon. Now, hopefully the fighting was going to come to an end. The truce that was to be signed here would bind both sides and prevent the shed of blood for ages to come. Orin took an old brass watch out of his slicker and checked the time. It was two minutes before midnight and so far he could see no representatives of the demon tribes. He watched at the second hand ticked slowly around the face of the clock. Tick tock tick tock tick. Midnight. Then as the hour struck a mighty wind rose up scattering snow and foliage across the clearing. Orin looked at his men who were visibly shaken and trying to calm the horses. His hand instinctively loosened the cords holding his revolvers in place. Then the wind died down as quickly as it had begun. Another few seconds passed and then a pair of figures emerged from the woods. 6

The first was a female figure dressed in a most provocative manner and sporting a pair of revolvers around her waist. She had long black hair that descended almost to her waist, and her eyes sparkled with red flame. The other was a dark figure with a wide brimmed hat and a dark hood underneath. He wore a dark red slicker and a fine black suit; no weapon was visible to the naked eye. Orin stepped foreword and addressed the male figure. “I am Reverend Orin Masters. I am here on behalf of the Order of Light.” The figure smiled an evil grin. “I am Alabaster Moncrieff. I am here of my own accord, though I do represent the Council of the Demon Tribes. And my lovely female counterpart in Miss Eria Macarov.” Alabaster quickly gazed around the clearing. “My, my my, we certainly have come prepared. A bit of overkill wouldn’t you say reverend? Fourteen of you against us two?” Orin simply shook his head. “You can try to pass yourself off as human as much as you like but you can never wash the stench of brimstone off your carcass. Let’s just sign the paper so we can go our separate ways.” Eria eyed Orin hungrily.7

“I like this one.” She whispered to Alabaster. “He makes my legs quake with anticipation.” “I’ll let you have his body after I’m through. Feel free to do whatever you like with it.” He responded. Orin bit his lip impatiently. “We haven’t got all night.” Alabaster smiled and cleared his throat. “We have a message, from Mephistopheles.” Orin nodded. “Go ahead, what does the great demon emperor say?” Alabaster shifted his hat with thumb and forefinger. “He says he has no intention of signing that treaty. And also that he looks foreword to devouring your soul!” Before he could react Orin was thrown back by the force of a punch to his chest. He rolled back through the snow and his guns were thrown out of their holsters. He looked up to see Alabaster ripping through his men with his bear hands while Eria riddled them with bullets. Orin winched from the pain in his chest and began to crawl for one of his guns. He could barely see Alabaster anymore for he was moving at a speed to fast for the human eye. Crawling a few more inches he managed to grab hold of one of his guns. As he did so Orin looked up to see Alabaster sink his hand into his last victim’s chest and tear out the heart. It still continued to beat for a minute or two even though it was separated from the body of its owner. Alabaster stared at it for a moment then sank his teeth into it and tore off a bite. Orin knew that this was his shot and that if he didn’t take it now he would die here. He quickly leveled the gun and shot off two rounds.8

The first grazed Alabaster on the side causing him to spin around wildly. The second however, blasted a hole the size of an orange through his chest. Alabaster screamed in horror as the holy water encased in the bullets begin to course through him like acid. But the old demon still refused to die. In an instant he scooped Orin up from the snow and tossed him against a nearby tree. Reacting quickly Orin tore the golden crucifix from his neck and quickly muttered the holy words. “Ego orator ray of lux lucis, accerso mihi victoria huic pugna. Pierce per obscurum quod tribuo mihi pacis. Addo meus hostilis ut suum genua!” The crucifix began to glow with the purest white light. Then it changed and melted in Orin’s hand until he held a might broadsword in his fist. He turned to face Alabaster who was somewhat blinded by the light emitted by the crucifix. The demon regained his composure and again charged Orin at a speed that was almost unreal. But this time was different. Orin could see Alabaster and could make out his movement. He brought the sword down diagonally in front of him and felt it buckle as it cut through bone and flesh. Alabaster reappeared behind Orin seemingly unscathed. Then he began to choke as if his mouth was full of blood; then his top half begin to slide from its frame and a moment later both halves lay on the ground.9

Eria looked upon her dead companion for a moment or two then ran towards the trees and in a second had completely vanished. Alabaster’s corpse began to rot almost instantly, and soon only his clothes remained. Orin picked up his hat and replaced it atop his head, and then he retrieved his guns and knocked the snow out of the barrels. His eyes surveyed the carnage around him, and he prayed a lament under his breath. The war was not over as he had hoped and now there were thirteen less enforcers to keep the peace. Maybe more could be found out in the wide world, or so he hoped. Putting two fingers to his mouth Orin whistled for his horse Triumph. In an instant he came trotting out of the trees and Orin swung himself into the saddle. His next destination was Landers Point where he hoped to find a few good men. If he could not succeed in that endeavor then it was up to him alone to track down Mephistopheles and put a bullet through his head. Orin crossed himself as he rode across the clearing. “God help us.” He said. “God help us all.”10

Author notes

This is just a little something for a contest but I like the premise. I might make more depending on the feed back I get.

A contest entry

Should I continue this series? Did this grab your attention?

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Comments


  • SignifyingNothing
    June 24, 2008

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    Nice. A few spellling issues and grammar, but I think I got the gist of this. I love your descriptions in the first section, the interplay between the demon and the half-demon. Some good dialog. You set this up really well.

    I don't like the part with cutting Alabaster's head in half because it reminded me too much of that scene in Underworld. I'd edit it, because it echoes that a little too much. Other than that, the action is good. Great job, and thanks for entering.


  • Tiger-Lily
    May 23, 2008

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    "shallow", in 1st sentence, confused me a bit.
    "tiered" in para 3.

    You might want to start a new paragraph every time another character speaks/moves. It makes reading clearer and easier.

    withdrew, one word.

    At the end of the third papa, it's hard to tell that it's Alabaster speaking, as it's Eria doing an action in the sentence prior to that.

    "raucous" i an adjective, so cannot be used in this context: "Now, if we are quite finished with this little raucous, let us depart."

    Try "raucousness".

    forced here/her. para 4

    "foreword" = "forward", para 7

    "bear hands" = bare? Otherwise, it would be a tad odd to visualize.

    "might broadsword" needs a "mighty"

    Hm, you tend to repeat the word "then" continually, particularly in the last few paras. This ascribes a weakness to the force of the plot, makes it tedious to read. Also, in some parts, such as the action in para 8 and 9 tends to be too descriptive and not very see-able. You want people ti be able to visualize the bloodshed; get more descriptive in indirect ways. Talk about the smell of the place, as you only do this in the end. Talk about the coldness of the snow, the cries of men dying, etc.

    Overall this is an enjoyable read, although the huge chunks of texts make it a tad illegible sometimes. I enjoyed it, and I think you have an intriguing storyline here Raf. All it needs is a little polishing. To add that extra dimension of reality to it.



    HT


  • toolenduso
    May 13, 2008
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    Very interesting...definitely good at setting the mood, and you certainly tied in a lot of back story within the present. I'm interested in seeing more of this, I think it could develope into something bigger quite nicely.

    And I hate to be nitpicky, but, “Enough of this nonsense Eria; I grow quite tiered of your games.”


  • Reaver Greeters member
    May 12, 2008
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    Well done!

    This story had a good hook and you are excellent at character building. I felt like I was in the snow along with Alabaster and Eria. You do have some spelling blunders and sometimes your sentence structure creates a slight bit of confusion, but all around I loved it. I was sort of torn at the end though…I kinda wanted Alabaster to win… Very Well Done!! ~D