Mr. Irresistable

Wendell Dayton stood outside the old, brick building on Crost Street. This was the place he was looking for. A carved, wooden sign on it proclaimed in large letters that this was The Crescent Moon Brew House. In smaller letters, the sign advertised, coffee, beer and assorted potions. To the left of the words was a large, crescent moon face with an unsettling grin.1

The inside of the brew house was dim and permeated with the overpowering smell of coffee. Wendell made his way around the tables to the counter at the back of the room. A fat, gray cat laying on the counter opened one eye to look at him, then resumed its nap. Behind the counter, a plump young woman in a lacy, black dress and a red satin vest stared at him through a pair of large, round glasses. She was pale, with blood-red lips and frizzy black hair that was tied so it resembled two large fans sticking out from her head. Her name tag identified her as Caspella.2

"May I help you, good sir?"3

"Yeah, I wanted to get a potion."4

"We have many potions one might purchase. What sort of potion do you need?"5

"A love potion."6

The corners of Caspella's mouth turned up very slightly.7

"Ah, there is some lass whose affection you seek?"8

"Well, not exactly."9

"Then you have other preferences, but my potions have no prejudice. All I shall need is an article of clothing that bears the scent of the one you desire."10

"No, no, don't get me wrong. I like girls. I just haven't picked one out yet."11

"I am afraid you confuse me, good sir. If that is true, why do you wish to purchase a love potion?"12

"To make women love me. You see, I don't want a potion that works on just one woman. I want one that'll make me irresistable to all women."13

Caspella frowned and shook her head slowly.14

"That is an unusual request and one I believe is most unwise. The love of one woman would give you greater joy than the love of many ever will."15

"That's just the way you women think. Guys are different. For us, more is always better. So, do you got a potion like that or not?"16

"If you are certain that is what you wish, I think there may be a way to achieve it. Return tomorrow and we shall see if I succeed."17

Wendell came back the next day. Caspella was again behind the counter.18

"So, do you got the potion ready?"19

"Yes, it has been prepared, but I shall ask you once more to reconsider before you use it."20

"Nope, my mind's made up. If you've got the potion, I want it."21

"As you wish, good sir. Please, wait while I fetch the potion for you."22

Caspella went into the back room and returned a few minutes later with a small bottle made of dark red glass. She set it on the counter in front of Wendell.23

"Here is the potion you requested. May you not regret using it."24

Wendell picked up the bottle and laughed.25

"Regret being irresistable to women? Not a chance. So, what do I do with it."26

"Drink the contents of the bottle tonight before you retire. When you awake in the morning, all women will love you."27

"Alright! It's just too bad I have to wait until tomorrow to see if this stuff'll really work."28

Something did seem different when Wendell woke up the next day, but at first he was not sure exactly what it was. He reached up to scratch his head and that is when he noticed he did not have any hair. There was no hair on his head. There was no hair anywhere on his body.29

He held his hands up in front of his face. His skin was now brown and very smooth, almost shiny. He looked just like chocolate. He put his hand to his nose and sniffed. He smelt just like chocolate. He hesitantly licked his finger. He tasted just like chocolate. He was chocolate--genuine, creamy, sweet chocolate.30

There was a different girl behind the counter when Wendell rushed into the brew house. She was a thin, bony thing with a vacant look in her eyes. Wendell shouted at her desperately.31

"Where's Caspella? I've got to see her."32

"She's in the back. Can I get you something?"33

Suddenly, those vacant eyes changed. There was desire in them, a hunger that terrified Wendell.34

"Never mind. I'll go back and see her."35

Wendell ran into the back room and locked the door behind him. He could hear the girl knocking on it.36

"Come back! Why're you hiding from me? Come out, I want you!"37

Leaning against the door to hold it shut in case the girl unlocked it, Wendell looked around. Caspella was on the other side of the room, tending some large, copper brewing kettles. The fat, gray cat was watching her from a nearby chair.38

"What were you thinking? Look what your potion did to me!"39

"I do not need to look, good sir. The potion did exactly what I brewed it to do."40

"It turned me into chocolate!"41

"Of course it did. There is nothing in this world that all women love, except chocolate."42

Caspella waved her hand toward Wendell. Tiny sparkles of light flew from it to the door, causing it to glimmer to a moment.43

"You may step away from the door, good sir. No person shall pass through until I release the charm I have placed upon it."44

"How'd you do that?"45

"I am a witch. Did you not realize that when I prepared the potion for you?"46

"I guess I knew you were something, but I didn't think you could do that sparkly stuff too."47

Caspella walked over toward Wendell.48

"I assure you, my powers are quite extensive. Why are you dissatisfied? Has my potion not made all women love you as you requested?"49

"I don't want them to love me this way!" He pointed to the side of his head. "Look at this! Some woman bit off my ear on the way here. She ate my ear!"50

Caspella smiled at him.51

"Do not be unduly concerned about it. You are made of a magical, living chocolate. Whatever is eaten will grow back."52

"It will?"53

"Yes, good sir, it will."54

"So when I've got my ear again, can you change me back to normal?"55

"I have the ability to undo what my potion has done, but I do not choose to do that."56

"What? You're going to leave me like this? Why won't you change me back?"57

"Had you listened to me, you would already know the answer to that question. Yet, it is no surprise to me. A man who was in the habit of listening to women would not require a potion to gain their affection."58

"You mean you're trying to teach me a lesson?"59

Caspella was standing in front of Wendell, close enough that she could touch him if she reached out her hand. 60

"Even if I meant to do instruct you, I doubt I could succeed. No, the reason is very simple. As I said, all woman love chocolate. You may not have recognized I was a witch, but surely you must see I am a woman."61

Wendell could see she was a woman, a very plump woman who could obviously eat a large amount of chocolate.62

"No! You can't...you mustn't!"63

Wendell looked around the room. The only way out was the door he had come in. He tried to open it, but Caspella's charm still sealed it shut. He stared at the witch as she stepped even closer. He realized he could not fight, could not run, could not move at all. He did not know whether it was more magic or just fear that held him.64

"I can, good sir, and I must. You are, as you wished to be, irresistable."65