Bee was the first to wake up, crawling off the bed she made her way to the lounge. Standing in the door, Shayne hadn’t noticed her, he was holding the small bong up to his lips, getting ready to light the lighter, she gave a small cough and he looked up surprised, he looked at Bee then at what he was holding. Her eyes were like icy daggers as she pulled her arm up and pointed to the door, she didn’t want to speak, afraid her voice would be to shaky. He stood up1
"I’m sorry" after saying that he put the bong down and walked closer to Bee, trying for a hug, she pulled her hand away from pointing and slapped him across the face, 2
"Get out" she whispered, her eyes not moving from his, he pulled his head back to her, 3
"Fine" he replied and grabbed his stuff, pushing past her he went through the door. 4
Bee sat down on the blue couch as she heard the toilet flush and drake come down the hall. She looked up at him5
"Shayne left, you can still catch him if you hurry" then she laid on her back, waiting for him to leave. 6
Ely opened her eyes as she heard the door kind of slam, looking over at Ebb she seemed fast asleep. She couldn’t find bee, so getting up she walked down the hall, seeing her friend lying on the couch she smiled and went back to bed. 7
A few more hours passed before they were all awake and sitting in the dinning room with a piece of toast in front of them, 8
"Where’s the boys?" Ebb asked as she tried to break the silence, Bee looked down, 9
"They’re gone" she replied, her voice cold as she bit into her toast, sighing Ebb realised why they had left and looked up at her friend,10
“He’s such a fucking dickhead, what is he thinking lighting that shit up in your house, he knows how you feel” trying hard to keep her anger under control Ebb took the last bite of her toast.11
Sitting quietly at the dinning room table the three girls were finishing up their food when the phone rang, answering Bee’s voice came out a bit to morbid for her liking.12
“Hello?” the line was silent for a moment before she heard the low rumbles of a mans voice, staring at her friends Bee dropped the phone and was out of the room before they heard the plastic hit the tiled floor, startled her friends got up and followed. Bee took the ring of keys off a small hook on the wall, it was plain to see that she was shaking as she tried to fit the key inside the front door, by now Ebb and Ely had noticed the tears streaming down her red cheeks, 13
“Bee, hunn, what’s wrong?” Ebb asked worried, stopping Bee put her hands to her face as she let out loud sobs. Both girls rushed to her side, hugging her as they tried to find out what had happened.14
A few moments past before Bee calmed down enough to talk, getting up she grabbed at her keys once more15
“Its...” she started as more tears came flooding down, Ebb patted her hair slowly as she went on “its, my dad… There was a … A accident” finally through all the sobs she got it out, Ebb raised her hand to her mouth hoping it wasn’t to bad, Ely looked down, thinking 16
“I gotta go to the hospital” Bee’s voice came out shaky as she tried to close the door, 17
“Wait” Ebb relied holding the door open18
“I’ll go get us some clothes,” Ely said walking down to the bedroom, the two girls watched her go then looked at each other19
“We’re not going to let you go alone, I’m your best friend, we both are” Ebb smiled softly at Bee hoping to comfort her, Bee struggled her own smile then Ely came back down the hall holding a bag of clothes. The three girls walked out the front, there PJs still on and ran across the small lawn to the drive were Bee’s black ford mustang was parked. Bee started the engine and clicked her seatbelt into place while Ebb put her seatbelt on in the front seat and Ely admired the Crestline seat covers.20
[= tell me the truth... is this any good?
Comments
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Well, first of all, some of the grammar in this isn't correct...but I'll just talk about that through messages if you'll allow me to.
But other than that, this is a good story...or at least, part of a story. I enjoy it because it's a good idea, the descriptions are good and because the spelling is also right on mark. But the commas and periods are misplaced in some places.
Keep up the great work, Bee. I look forward to more stuff written by you. -
This was good, a new twist added to the story.
Keep it up.



