Forever

You might not be with me1

But you're still somewhere inside me2

You come in shape of a tear to my eyes3

I am alive just for you under this blue sky4

All these memories, this pain they are just thorns5

Let them go, because I am with you6

FOREVER!

Author notes

Please. Feedback needed. I love tigger.

A contest entry

Forever

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • Shadowed Phoenix
    May 23

    Edit | Reply
    A very short but meaningful poem. I truely did like this one. The capitalization of the word forever gave the short peice a final blow of emotion. My only recomindation is to put grammer in at the end of some of your lines. You use some commas withing the lines but some commas and periods at the end of them would give it more of a pace. Overall this is a wonderful short poem with some real meaning to it. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.


  • NinjaMegami
    May 21
    Edit | Reply

    yay!

    thank God this was short! i it!


  • Champaign Kisses
    May 5
    Edit | Reply
    This is bold and brave... FOREVER shouts out your strength good job


  • moon road
    May 5

    Edit | Reply

    ♥ love the poem!



    Awwwww. This is so sweet. The ending made me smile, 'FOREVER!'. It's real bold and well, I love it.

    Good luck in the contest and I doubt you'll need it! It's a sweet poem!



    ericaxoxo


  • Midnightmare
    May 5

    Edit | Reply
    It was short and sweet. The only thing I suggest is in the second line "your" should be "you're".
    Overall it said so much and I really liked it.
    Well done and good luck in the contest you entered it in! =D

1 - 5 of 5