Forever

You might not be with me1

But you're still somewhere inside me2

You come in shape of a tear to my eyes3

I am alive just for you under this blue sky4

All these memories, this pain they are just thorns5

Let them go, because I am with you6

FOREVER!

Author notes

Please. Feedback needed. I love tigger.

A contest entry

Forever

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Forgotten Anomaly
    May 23, 2008

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    A very short but meaningful poem. I truely did like this one. The capitalization of the word forever gave the short peice a final blow of emotion. My only recomindation is to put grammer in at the end of some of your lines. You use some commas withing the lines but some commas and periods at the end of them would give it more of a pace. Overall this is a wonderful short poem with some real meaning to it. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.


  • NinjaMegami
    May 21, 2008
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    yay!

    thank God this was short! i it!


  • Crying Angel Eyes
    May 5, 2008
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    This is bold and brave... FOREVER shouts out your strength good job


  • always feel pretty
    May 5, 2008

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    ♥ love the poem!



    Awwwww. This is so sweet. The ending made me smile, 'FOREVER!'. It's real bold and well, I love it.

    Good luck in the contest and I doubt you'll need it! It's a sweet poem!



    ericaxoxo


  • Midnightmare
    May 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It was short and sweet. The only thing I suggest is in the second line "your" should be "you're".
    Overall it said so much and I really liked it.
    Well done and good luck in the contest you entered it in! =D

1 - 5 of 5