What You Did

What you did1

I cannot tell2

What you did3

is not safe with me4

What you did5

I won't forget6

What you did7

was very bad8

What you did9

I cannot tell10

What you did11

I hope you go to hell12

What you did13

you cheated14

What you did15

well, you pleaded16

To come back to me17

but i won't let you18

I hope your hearts broke in two.19

Author notes

I LOVE TIGERS!

A contest entry

ne comments r good... suggestions plz! :)

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Comments


  • lottiemae
    June 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is a cold blooded poem. a lot of hurtful feelings.


  • Tiger-Lily
    May 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Line 8 seems to simple to be effective. Try finding another word(s).

    hearts/heart's

    Very simple but overalleffective. Good work.

    HT


  • Crying Angel Eyes
    May 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    HA you go...? boy or girl... i dont know it wont let me see your name... due to the contest rules... good job...


  • Lee Tzanko
    May 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Lovely Peice

    Wow, I liked it very much. The pace was kind of set funny though; I don't really know how to describe it but...yeah. I liked how the ending fell out of the normal pattern that had reined since the beginning.