Every day she gets beat hit with hands goes to bed hungry and no one hears her crying. Being yelled at for things she did not do, maybe because some one had a bad day thrown out the house in the cold in the rain no one hears her crying. We no its happening but we do nothing about it. What kind of people are we? Forced to fight to live that's all she knows a life so sad no one seems to care no one hears her crying. We need to start hering the crys because she and others like her can't do anything to help them selfs. Thousands of dogs and other animals go threw these same troubles take a stand fight animal abuse. Story based on a 2 year old female bull dog
you don't have to leave a coment if you don't chose to just please take a stand
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This is really good , i liked how you made this to get people to know about animal abuse. I really like animals and i hate when people abuse animals. I think you did a really good job on this. The only thing it is kind of hard to read the way you put it all together. But i like the topic
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beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 2, characters: 3.
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do spell check.
and mabie so more convincing words...
but other than that the story was pretty good.
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that is good
but grammar and spelling and punctuation and all that good stuff needs work -
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Aww it's sad! I agree its not kool whats happening to animals. Yeah you do need to check the spelling and grammar, maybe break it up a bit as well but it was good -high 5-
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Okay, where to begin?
1. Space this out a little so it's easier to read.
2. Use a spell check.
3. You know what, I'm going to go through here in this comment and revise what needs work.
Every day she (is beaten) with (instert adjective here. Example: cruel)hands(.) (She) goes to bed hungry and no one hears her cries. Being yelled at for things she did not do. (Did someone have a bad day?) (Is that why they threw her out in the rain?)
We (know) it(')s happening(,) but we (are)(not doing anything)about it. What kind of people are we? (Her life is an endless fight for survival)(Yet, no one hears her cries)
We need to start (listening to her cries). (She) and others like her (are unable to save themselves). Thousands of dogs and other animals (are forced to endure these merciless acts). (Please, take a stand and help fight animal abuse. Every helping hand can make a difference in an animal's life)
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