Again, he asks why.
Again, she doesn't know.1
Because being in a relationship and not even liking the person is hard.2
And she knows this, but she can't seem to make herself care. He seems not to care, that she fucks with him and his mind; That she loves to see him cry.
A sick retribution.
A sick pass time.3
They both put up a smiling front and she says, "It is okay, I'll love him someday."4
He is her best friend; She wants him to be happy.
She also wants to be free.5
Caroline.
That is all he wants, that is all he sees. Caroline. He has dirty blond hair, greasy and long. Grey-speckled-blue eyes that look right past you; Eye lashes like a woman.6
Caroline hates the way he looks.
Caroline hates him.7
Still, she says loves him, though it makes her a bit sick inside.
Her insides to turn, to rotate, to rebel.8
Caroline's Velma-cut auburn hair; It glows gold in the summer sun. Her eyes are almost the same color as her pretty, pretty hair. Freckled skin, pale in some places and burnt by the sun in others.9
He can imagine touching that skin, and he did, earlier on. Caroline said, "Never again."
Caroline's Friend, Anna, says she is like a song. Her soul is made of song.
You can't catch a song.10
Ben tells her she's a bitch, a bad person, and a whore.
And that he loves her.
Ben, her best friend, her almost-lover, says all these things;
Then tells her he loves her.
Caroline wants to hit him. Again, and Again, and Again.
Until she can't hit anymore.11
Caroline thinks he deserves it. She wants to hurt Ben so badly. To show him and everyone else just how much hate she has for him.
Caroline is running outside now, into the Big Backyard, where it always seems to be uncomfortably hot. 12
There is a large, quite possibly dying, oak tree providing shade to the faded blue shed in the far corner of the yard. It leans this way and that, paint peeling, shingles falling. Amazingly, it is even hotter then usual, a suffocating, excruciating, drowning hot. Caroline looks up at the sun and she has to laugh at its foolishness."Is that all you can do?"13
14
Caroline has climbed onto the scorching roof of the shed, can feel the top underneath her bend and groan. Laying down on her back, eyelids burning from the Sun revenging rays; Her shapely, strapless, navy blue and canary yellow sun dress is fanning prettily out around her. All she can do is grin and comment on the Sun's bad mood.15
16
Caroline's been thinking of her life choices on that roof, for some time now.
She decides its time to make a good one.17
Caroline can't even remember what happened.
She knows she got off the rotting shed roof and walked back to the house , and she knows carefully took the large carving knife from the kitchen drawer.
She also remembers...someone...screaming? 18
What Caroline sees now, is her loving husband Ben on the living room floor. What looks like what used to be him, anyway. He seems to have fallen to pieces. Pretty little Caroline grins and picks up a bloody stump of a hand. "Oh dear. Better clean this little mess up, before it stains the rug!"19
Months go by, taking the memories with them. No one bothers to ask where Ben is after awhile, because she always smiles and tells them the same thing when they do.20
"I don't know."21
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