Complicated

When light leaves the room I'm still there1

When the morn rises my love is around2

Come what may 3

For light is the power which I am capable 4

Love is the light which I am holding 5

Still things more great and powerful are ahead 6

So place all hate towards those which don't have hope 7

Give love to those with sadness 8

For all is lost without the power of my light 9

Stay strong, give hope, see the light ahead 10

For love and hope are my greatest concerns 11

The power in which they hold is too great for even I to fully
understand 12

Should someone see the understanding 13

Shall they take my place up here 14

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Frozen Angel
    October 19

    Edit | Reply
    While I like bits and pieces, of this poem, the overall message is fragmented. It looks as if you are discussing two completely different subjects (these being love and death) but never finding a way to link them together.

    Thanks for taking the tome to enter this contest.


  • mememe6
    August 15

    Edit | Reply
    It had some great lines, but I did not really understand what you were trying to say overall. There seemed to be a bunch of statements that did not fit together.

    And I think you are right, it was complicated, but maybe not so much in a good way. I think it would help if you went back and rearranged it so it flowed better, and made more sense.

    Thank you for entering.

    ~mememe6~


  • DemApples
    April 17
    Edit | Reply
    welcome to the next round


  • Sgs
    September 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "So place all hate towards those which don't have hope
    Give love to those with sadness
    For all is lost without the power of my light"

    Great words of wisdom! This is very well done, thank you for entering the contest!


  • Bello.Midnight
    September 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was great.
    Simple and sweet
    easy to read
    had a good mesasage behind it and I did not see much wrong with it at all.

    GOOD LUCK

    Blake ♣


  • xxHeartbrokenxx
    May 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    that is good


  • Adelaide Blood
    May 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    i think you should

    make it easier to read the text cuz i had to highlight it to know what it said... other than that its really good

1 - 7 of 7