George W. Bush is still president of the United States.1
Now that's a perfectly normal English sentence: we have nouns and verbs and even a couple of helpful adverbs. It flows and I suppose a few select souls in asylums could even say it made sense, but still...there seems to be something integrally wrong. Oh, right, I remembered. This one sentence represents the collective stupidity of the American public in electing a man in need of a few high school English lessons himself to run their country. 2
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Americans; in fact, I have many relationships with Americans whose heads I don't feel the compelling need to smash repeatedly against brick walls. My only problem is that the large majority I have met fall into the category who voted for Bush, and so in my opinion deserve nothing more than the aforementioned punishment for their fatally wrong decision. 3
But I'm sorry, I digress. I'm here to demoralise Bush and his administration, not the public and their role in its downfall. 4
If you were to ask ten people what Bush's biggest mistake is, I'd bet my bottom dollar you would get ten different answers. Similarly, questioning one hundred different people would yield a hundred different mess ups. This variety of answers does not signify an undecided American public, nor is it the trademark of a government who appeases only some. Rather it is an indicator of exactly how large the catalog of mistakes from which people can choose really is; it is proof of how many times Bush has stuffed things up. Even those inhibited by “No Child Left Behind” failures can come up with an answer for that particular query; perhaps the most convincing evidence of all. 5
When the World Trade Center towers crumbled to their knees back in 2001, America was brought down with them. The whole country was in a state of shock. All but good old George-y, that is, who decided that continuing reading practice with a group of eleven year olds for seven minutes after he had been informed was much more important. We know you need the practice George, but perhaps the middle of a national crisis isn't the best time for elementary school grammar lessons, despite your much needed improvement being a matter of a country's pride. 6
You'd think that after being completely unprepared for this disaster, he might do something along the lines of preparing for the next one, but that might redeem the public's faith, and apparently that goes against Bush's every value. My point is, when Hurricane Katrina blew in to New Orleans, good old Dubya was no more ready than he was the last time. First he decides that evacuating the many families unable to get themselves out was little more than a nuisance to be blocked out as quickly as possible. Then he figures mentioning the possible failure of the levees protecting the city from Lake Pontchartrain probably isn't very important, leaving the entire area to flood. Finally, all the federal agencies were just as unprepared as the president himself. 7
Good job on that one, Bush. Much better than last time.8
But, I must be fair, and that means judging on more than the one criteria of emergency management. How about interpersonal relationships?9
Sorry , Bush, on this one you get graded worse that the majority of the children you thought up “No Child Left Behind” for as well. I'm sure his mother and grade three teacher would agree that treating others how you want to be treated is very important. Unless that dumb Texan outward appearance hides an avid masochist, he isn't really abiding by the Golden Rule. Torturing half the people he comes into contact with and unjustly firing the rest (specifically US Attorneys) for disagreeing with him isn't the best way to make long-lasting friendships. 10
But we could forgive Bush for his downfalls if he was brilliant in another area. If he radically overhauled the health system to give Americans affordable health care and insurance instead of cutting funding toward it, we might be able to understand his horrible environmental disregard. Or possibly if he had drawn the economy together instead of acting like a credit-card phased teenager and throwing the country into an almost irreparable state, facing a recession, his war on what seems like every country in the Middle East in order could be forgiven. And using his power for good, like updating the dictionaries with the synonym 'oil' for 'weapons of mass destruction' instead of the evil portrayed in secret prisons and a secret judicial system that would give Kafka fits might also help with his rather harsh and critical judgement. 11
Still, let's look at what George has achieved: for the first time Americans finally did it – they actually managed a negative savings rate; there are record high energy prices about which Cheney's meetings remain secret; and don't even get me started on the war on terror – that is a dead dog already. 12
So perhaps all of those surveys giving us impressive figures about how people consider Bush the second's administration to be one of the worst in US history have some truth. Too bad those voters didn't have the same opinion before the elected him president – exactly how bad was Clinton for Bush to seem a great man and perfect successor? Anyway, at the end of the day all we need to ask ourselves is this one question: can a president be impeached for sheer stupidity? And then, let us ponder the possibilities.
Author notes
I actually found this quite hard, because not being from America I take less notice of Bush's mistakes...or at least I don't put any effort into remembering them. So *shock horror* I actually had to research.
A contest entry
- Dc's All Storywrite, Writer's Contest. by Shah Z.
875 points, ended July 2, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
I don't normally like anything that has to do with politics but your story changed that, GREAT job!!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
-
OK, you've gone for a soft target, and you have no shortage of ammunition. Fair enough, specially in view of the fact it was your target who provided said ammo, so that's OK. But beware of overlong and awkwardly structured sentences. Once you've written them, read them aloud, or better still, ask someone else to do it, AND LISTEN CAREFULLY!!
Examples of the need for revision are the last sentence in Para 5, same in Para 6, first in Para 7, punctuation in last sentence of para 10, same in 3rd sentence Para 11, and final sentence in Para 11, and the first sentence in Para 13 is really intricate; it makes sense, but it might have been written by Charles Lamb or Lord MacAuley.
I liked the piece, and it did tell me what a sarcastic and intolerant person you appear to be. But as I said earlier, don't fall into the trap of ranting without analysing your own output. if you intend to point the finger of scorn, remember that three fingers are pointing back at you; this might make you a trifle more measured in your sarcasm. I think it wass Wilde who pointed out that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit; real irony, or satire, are much sharper tools without actually appearing to be.
That aside, there's a lot of good stuff here, just go easy on the sarcasm, think a little further, and this could be really entertaining!
beginning: 3, language: 3, ending: 3.
-
it was ok for what it was bush bashing not bad good ranting
-
stunned
and we voted for him? Why? Very... Very well needed story, not only to slightly entertain, but maybe to convince us that we need to stop electing idiots... I loved it.
-
Thumbs up
Your appearance is quite professional here. I like your writing. I'm nearly proud I'm not American neither - but it's not my fault, and it's nobody's fault to be American. There are so many kind-hearted persons from this country that you could nearly forget about the dumb nut they call their leader.
-
i so agree with you and i don't even live in america! down with george!
-
Haha, hilarious! Loved this - so totally well thought out and informed and ..etc etc .. and darned Amazing!!
Great job!
RJ
-
-
Thanks RJ - I actually put quite a bit of time into this, more than some of my much longer storiesw, for some reason, so I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Jac
-
-
I think Clinton was better than Bush, he was finicial and didn't kill peope for oil. That is all the improvment we Muslims could ask for.
Yes, this is great. You mange to keep it funny while still making it convincing.
I didn't knew you weren't an American.
Sorry I gave you such a hard time.
However I didn't feel even for a second that this wasn't coming form and American.
Great Work!
The starting was superb, you easily got me involved. Well it wasn't really tough I am always up for Bashing Bush
Though I think t could have had more humor, may be go in a bit detail.
But What you have done is real convincing I said that before.
And Thank you for Actully writing this for the contest.
Great Work! (Again)
And
GOOD LUCK! in the Contest.
-
Clinton was that bad Bush isn't that great, but at least he's an improvement. I just hope Obama or Hilary Clinton don't get voted in. Then we'd be in for a real nightmare, instead of just some good late night television recapping the President's mistakes in his speeches. Of course, it was a little worse than that, but yeah. I'm not sure who should win the election. I'm thinking Ron Paul, mostly because I'm not a huge fan of McCain. Anyway, I am wandering and not coming back to the actual topic, so I'll stop now before I get carried away. Don't ya just love politics these days?
-
wow
even for not being an american that was wonderful! you highlighted a number of his mistakes, degraded him down to the size he truly deserves to be, and made it very convincing. Using a good intellect and starting off in a captivating way, you did this incredibly well... and as it goes for paragraphs 3-4, I am an american and i still agree with you wholeheartedly. Thankfully I was against Bush winning and still am against him running our country. Thankfully he won't be in office much longer... now i only pray McCain doesn't take his place! ^^ wonderful job with this! -
wow
even for not being an american that was wonderful! you highlighted a number of his mistakes, degraded him down to the size he truly deserves to be, and made it very convincing. Using a good intellect and starting off in a captivating way, you did this incredibly well... and as it goes for paragraphs 3-4, I am an american and i still agree with you wholeheartedly. Thankfully I was against Bush winning and still am against him running our country. Thankfully he won't be in office much longer... now i only pray McCain doesn't take his place! ^^ wonderful job with this!
-
whee! yes bash bush!
-
-
Well the rant/story is up now, so if you want to read...*raises eyebrow hinting-ly*
-
-
Give me satire on Bush. Yes G.W Bush, come on i want crude, super cool humor, make me roll over my seat.
Three cheers for Bush Bashing. -
-
Okay, I have got the actual 'story' up now...
Just thought I'd let you know
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
