I never even believed in Internet dating. But when I was having life troubles, I decided to get an account on LoveOfYourLife.com (not a website or maybe it is but I am not supporting it) Me,only being 20 and I had nothing to do with life, since I had left collage early when I was 19. (Not my real age) Sometimes, I wish I hadn't been on an honor role. 1
I logged on one day to say I got an invite for a date. Mark Jalon, he seemed nice. Then I saw his picture and it was like little hearts were in my eyes. He was such a hunk! Then I imagined being Mrs.Jalon... what a fansty! But he seemed nice, and usually when adults are in love they don't break up. I stared at the screen and my mind dazed at the picture. I imagined kissing him and I replied to him. My reply said "Hi hot stuff! I'd love to date you! You seem really nice, how about tomorrow at 7?" 2
That night at seven, I dressed up in my favorite outfit a red dress that was long and beautiful. I went light on the makeup,just some lipstick and and eye shadow. 3
Then I saw him, he had white teeth that shined like the moon at night. I walked up to him, and he lunged toward me and kissed me.4
His lips were soft and a bit moist. I kissed him back and we kissed for what I think was two minutes. "You look prettier in person than in the picture, Maria." He said. I blushed. 5
The date was personal, so I'd rather not share it. Anyway, a few days later, we had our next date.6
We barley talked, we went to an Italian restaurant. We kissed most of the time, and didn't do much else.7
A few months later, he took me to his favorite restaurant, which was a French restaurant. We walked in and ate some very tasty French food. Then I finished, and Mark did something I will never forget.8
He got down on one knee, and asked me "Maria? Will you marry me?" I started to cry tears of joy, and said "Yes Mark! Of course I will!" I jumped to him and kissed him. Everyone around us clapped and clapped. I guess I was Mrs.Jalon now.9
Are wedding was held in spring,when the cherry blossoms bloomed. We were married under a cherry blossoms tree. None of us were Jewish, but I had always wanted to have someone say "Molotov!" at my wedding. Oh well, it was so pretty. 10
Our honey moon was in Hawaii. After the honey moon, I went to a doctor. I had been having mood swings and cravings. I knew the signs, I took the test, I was pregnant. Yay! I couldn't wait to hear "the pitter-patter of little feet on the our floor"! 11
I moved into Mark's house, were we had made a room for the baby. The room was red, because we didn't know the sex of the baby yet. In June, I had the baby. I named her June, because she looked a bit tan. She was born with a little red hair on her head. She was such a beautiful baby! 12
Five years later, June started kindergarten. She was always full of energy, and Mark asked her everyday, "Are you ready for school June?" She would respond by bobbing her head and saying "Yes, yes, yes!" The teacher said she disrupted class alot. We took June to the doctors and found out she had ADHD. When June learned this, she didn't care. June was just a happy ball of energy.13
When June was in first grade, we decided to have another baby. The baby was a boy, we called Raymond. June played Baby with Raymond until she got to third grade. When Raymond went into first grade, we found out he had Brain Cancer.14
He had many surreys, but two years later, he died. June wound not go to school. I decided to home-school June. June was in depression. June was relived of depression a year later. We would not ever have a baby again. The house was awkwardly quiet all the time.15
We missed Raymond and wanted him back. When ever I saw a picture of Raymond, I cried. Raymond had some problems with life, and stood up his desk once and declared he was 'king of the kids' and ran around the room saying "Bow in my presence!"16
I think Raymond must be a guardian angel of our family. I love you Raymond, where ever you are!
A contest entry
- Many Options :D (My First Contest!) by TheFemmeFatale.
130 points, ended July 9, 2008, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Where is the love? by Atticus Unanimous.
325 points, ended November 16, 2008, 26 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Ummmmmm.......
It was a bit unorganized in the end and you didn't get the whole concept of the whole married thing Miss mean you were never married, Ms. means that you have been married but you got a divorce, and Mrs. means that you are corrently married but all and all here is one
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In several places you use "were" in place of "where." The former is a verb meaning to be while the latter means a place that isbeing described. Also, it is unnecessary to capitalize "brain tumor."
What you have written is powerful because you show both ends of the spectrum of life. I must commend you for your excellence in subject matter. Bittersweet stories are my favorite because only tiny moments in time are perfectly lovely. My only wish is that you use more vivid and descriptive language to enhance the power of your piece. As it is now, the piece is only mediocre. It doesn't do any justice the potential beauty of this work. -
That was sweet AND sad. Poor little Raymond! A few grammar or spelling mistakes here and there, but I liked the overall story, very cute!
Thanks for entering! -
Confusing but I like it.
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that was really cute! But it also was very sad! so sad! you did wonderful!
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