Vlaker woke from his long sleep. He sniffed the air. The smells of pine, grass, water.....and...BLOOD? The wolf got up on his paws and started sprinting. The cool air of the night blew on his gray, messy fur. The air was thick with it. Grass bended at his paws. In the forest, in the middle of the night, something was bound to happen. Bound to. Who knows, it's maybe it's.....1
He paused. It was Patelina, chewing on a rat. Patelina was a pretty, white, wolf. Curiosity shone in her dark eyes. " What is it, Vlaker? " She asked, puzzled. " Did you come here to get a midnight snack? " She asked when she noticed Vlaker wasn't replying. Vlaker licked his paw. " You should warn me if you're going to find food in the night. " He tried to answer calmly. 2
" You are mad, are you not? " Patelina noticed. Vlaker snorted. " Yes, Patelina! I thought you might be wounded and if you were..... " Vlakers voice trialed off. His eyes glanced at the full moon. Bright, pretty, like day. Far off, but seeming to be so close....SO close.....Vlaker howled. Patelina finished her meal. She wiped the blood off on her paw. She sneaked over to Vlaker. 3
" You would have done WHAT? " She questioned mockingly. Vlaker didn't take his eyes off the moon. " I would have torn whoever or whatever did whatever to you apart. " He wisperd between clenched teeth. Patelina licked Vlaker in the face. He blinked, shocked. " You are my hero....but I can look after myself. " She stated. Vlaker looked back at the moon. Patelina howled. 4
A noise was heard in the distance. Paws on grass, another wolf, perhaps. It WAS another wolf. Shezer, Vlaker's brother. " The humans REALLY seem to be hunting us!! " Shezer roared. " What happend?! " Patelina demanded. " I saw....them - the humans - they shot Oeerg and took him away! " Shezer spat. Patelina looked hororfied. Oeerg was one of her brothers. " I'll.....get them for this!!!!!!!!!! " Patelina cried. She howled a pained cry. 5
She started to run. Vlaker caught up and blocked her path. " Out of my way!! I have to avenge Oeerg!!!!! " Patelina choked. Vlaker shook his head. " They'll only get you. Come, we MUST leave leave this area! " Vlaker commanded. He started to run off. Shezer followed him. Patelina gave a mighty howl. Then she rushed off to catch up with the others. 6
The wolves were sprinting through the area. What if the other areas were dangerous? There was only one way to find out. " This feels great! " Shezer exclaimed while ther ran. Patelina was thinking of her dead brother. There was nothing great in that.....Vlaker was focusing on where they were going. " Be quiet, Shezer! We want to be like ghosts. " Valker admonished. Patelina wished she was a ghost. Then she could be with her brother, Oeerg. 7
Oeerg was the kindest, and most brilliant of her brothers. Why did HE have to be hunted? NO reason...none.....Vlaker noticed Patelina's pain. " You gotta move on..... " He tried to explain. Patelina whined. She didn't WANT to move on. Shezer was too busy to notice the gloomy air. He enjoyed running more than most things. He focused on the cool breeze, the soft ground, and the beautiful sun rise. " The sun is rising - we must rest. " Vlaker commanded. Patelina was glad. Her paws were getting sore. 8
Vlaker led them into deep grass. " Watch for the pesky snakes. " He warned. Patelina was too tired to listen. She fell asleep in the thick, yellow - green, grass. Shezer rolled around, making use of his boundless energy. Vlaker stood in it, watching for snakes. Or worse - a human.....But he was SO tired. Shezer was soon falling asleep. The one with the most energy...." I'll just rest my head in my paws. " He told himself. As soon as he did, Vlaker fell asleep. Into a long, deep, soundless sleep. 9
Vlaker woke up. It was late afternoon. The wind was stronger, and more chilly. He stood up and shook himself fully awake. Patelina was chomping on something, still sad. Shezer was running in the thick grass. The sun was soon going to set. They had slept most of the day - not good....." What happend while I was asleep??!! " Vlaker demanded. Patelina was chomping away. 10
" I caught some animal - while Shezer kep running. " Patelina replied with a full mouth. Vlaker nodded. " SHEZER YOU CHEETAH! STOP RUNNING! WE HAVE TO FIND A SAFE PLACE!!!!! " Vlaker shouted.
Shezer didn't hear. Vlaker started to run off. Patelina left her food and sprinted after him. Shezer noticed they left. He ran like the wind to catch up. They ran on, looking for a place that didn't hunt wolves. 11
Little did they know there wasn't any. But they still searched. Searched until the end of their days. If you look closely into the moon, you can see three wolves, running. In search of a place that isn't there. Where there are no humans, or obstacles..... A place for wolves, great wolves..... 12
Author notes
This took ETENITY to write! I usually don't write this stuff.....!!!!! >.< Well, I had to write a tittle.....it sounds stupid.....
A contest entry
- Welcome to the pack! by Bullet.Name.
600 points, ended May 20, 2008, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Anything you're little heart desires... by J.R. Coleman.
350 points, ended May 9, 2008, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Random by Vampiric souls.
175 points, ended May 7, 2008, 9 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - The Sight by ice wolf.
295 points, ended May 24, 2008, 4 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Spark my interest by Kai Kudou.
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• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Is the story OK, and/or original?
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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This was good
This was good and was not the most original piece of work, though I have to give you guys kudos! I hope to see more from you. -
This is well-written, but has a few minor mistakes in it. It is a good story-line. Keep penning. Will you be expanding on this later?
ice

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sorry.....
i really don't write about wolves, it's difficult!!
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hrrm.. this is a good story, very well written. Kepp up the great job!!
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oh...
thanks!!!!!
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thanks!
thank you so much!!!!!
i really did try hadr on it!!!!!
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I LOVE reading stories like this. Very imaginative, and I just love how the narrator can see into every character's minds. Very similar to my favourite saga, Warriors, although this is with wolves. Amazing, I loved the conclusion!
The only things I would suggest is that one; when a new character speaks, make an indented line. Not necessarily a paragraph, but just one-line difference, if you know what I'm trying to say.
Secondly, I would suggest building on the story, it's great that the three characters can just pop into the scene and take the story to the end. But I want to know about BEFORE! Explain things like why the wolves thought humans were hunting them before they killed Oreeg or why they thought moving was the best solution.
Anyways, good luck in the contest.
xoxo julia -
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yo
thanks for the comment! i'm sorry, but i ussually write sorter things! i would have explained those things. but i like my ending. it reminds me a bit on mythology.....anyway...thanks for commenting!
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Aloha
hiiiii.....you are cool!
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Hiiiiii
JUST LEMME WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I thought it was very good. I liked it very much and I thank you for entering. I was pleased with your character Patelina. She reminded me of the wolf I used to have. Pure white with dark eyes full of curiosity.
This was nicely written and I wish you luck in my contest. (Not like you need it)

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Thank you
I tried hard. You know that I type SLOW...Thank you! I hoped against hope that you enjoyed it! Love ya!
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