Something I can never have

The words played in the background,
As tears rolled down my face;
The piano playing so hauntingly,
Yet it gave me an escape.1

"You make it all go away,
You make it all go away;
You make it all go away,
You make it all go away"2

**** **** **** ****3

You were the one who taught me,
About love and life and hope;
You were my idol,
You taught me I could cope.4

You promised to protect me,
And shelter me from harm;
You promised I'd be safe with you,
I was your lucky charm.5

You did so much for me,
As I started to grow up;
All I needed was my father's love,
And protection from any hurt.6

What did I do to change things?
What did I do to make you mad?
What did I do to make you want,
To rip out my precious heart?7

I've always tried so hard,
To make you proud of me;
To always do my best,
The best that I could be.8

Maybe my best just wasn't enough,
As you began to change to me;
You were no longer my father,
And I was no longer me.9

Why did you change that day?
Beyond all recognition;
As you started out to cause me hurt,
Hellbent on your new sick mission.10

**** **** **** ****11

As I lay on my bed now,
And listen to the words;
Lost in the world of music,
Beautiful like birds.12

I listen to those words,
Over and over again;
They make me wish you were still that man,
Who could make everything go away.13

I want you to make it,
All go away;
I wish you could make it,
All go away.14

I wish for something now,
That I can never have;
To have my father back,
My father, the way he was.15

You have changed me,
From someone so happy;
Into someone grey,
It's been you and what you've done, thats made me go this way.16

All I wanted was you to be proud of me,
To love me for who I am;
To love me for being your daughter,
To protect me from any harm.17

Why did it all change,
To what it is now;
To a place where I hate you,
Why Dad, and How?18

No longer do I run,
To greet you at the door;
Now I stay hidden,
'Cos I can't take it any more.19

**** **** **** ****20

As you call up to me,
Hiding in my room;
You interrupt my music,
Because 'you' want to resume.21

My head tries to ignore you,
Hoping you'll go away;
My heart beats so hard it hurts,
As I turn from pink to grey.22

Everywhere I look now,
You are all I see;
Just a fading reminder,
Of who I used to be.23

**** **** **** ****24

Pain tearing through me,
This is all too much;
When will it be over,
I've really had enough.25

I feel the blade against me,
As he invades me deep within;
His power slowly crippling me,
Should I just give in?26

The smell of his sweat,
His stench from within;
Suffocate me,
I want to give in.27

I wish he would kill me,
Than leave me to live;
In constant uncertainty,
Of his next fix.28

He is my father,
This is not real love;
He has screwed and twisted images,
With each forbidden touch.29

As he rips inside of me,
I push against the blade;
Its cutting at my neck now,
I feel it start to graze.30

As soon as it is over,
As he collapses on the floor;
His face of sordid pleasure,
Will be forever more.31

His poison inside me,
Deep into my bones;
Shattering every part of me,
Silencing my tones.32

I take my opportunity,
And reach down for the blade;
Plunge it deep inside my heart,
Killing everything he said.33

**** **** **** ****34

You make it all go away,
You make it all go away;
You made it all go away,
You made it all go away.35

I just want something,
I just want something I can never have.36

Author notes

I wrote this story in the form of a poem, for a previous contest inspired by the song "Something I can never have" by Nine Inch Nails - http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=UEW8riKU_tE

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Lies4Truth
    October 17

    Edit | Reply
    Very sad. The opening lines really drew me in. The image of the piano is very beautiful. It seems as thought it would be a song. Its lyrical enough. I imagine a piano would be playing while some singer sung these words. Amazing Job. Wonderfull really thank you for entering my contest


  • lavanya
    September 17

    Edit | Reply
    First ..congrats! for gold....your poem seriously deserve all these trphies because your work is so brillient here. every word is like soaked into emotions and legnth is sooooooooo good . perfect work..keep writing .


  • ForestFaery
    September 16
    Edit | Reply
    wow long and saddening thank you for posting it


  • KitterBean
    October 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was so strong in both emotion and word. You chose each word in each line with care and created something that was simply wonderful to read! Thanks so much for sharing and best of luck to you in the contest!


  • Be.Your.Own.Hero
    October 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    *blinks* That. Was. Awesome. So beautiful. So sad. So breathtakingly amazing

    *is typeless*
    Thank you so much for entering and writing this beautiful piece! I wish you the best of luck!

    ~*Princess*~

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • Writing0Freedom
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this was really well done. Stanza seven, last line, I think is your, not you're but other than that you wrote this beautifully. The pain, and betrayal was portrayed so strongly here and you really got the message through. The poem wasn't forced at all , it had a really strong current of emotion carrying it to the end. It was long but kept my attention up the entire time with the beautiful wording. So many emotions here, well done. Amazing piece! Thank you for entering and thank you for putting your option in the authors notes!
    WritingFree


  • Rhonin gold member
    July 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this was really good. Dark, sinister, sadistic and cruel, and you could feel every effect it had on the victim. the flow was natural and the wording went well. all together, a solid piece with a heart-shredding subject and an unbelievable ending. good work all around.


  • DuchessAura of Brie silver member
    May 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ok, I just tried to find the song by NIN, and...its the exact same song o.o Just different singer. hmm, Im curious, who did a cover of who? Is it possible that NIN did a cover of Chaism, and Flyleaf did a cover of NIN?

  • DuchessAura of Brie silver member
    May 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow...this is really amazing! There are a few small mistakes that you could fix, but they make no difference to the over all feeling. Its very emotional, and it makes you feel strongly for the character. Im simply blown away. Thank you for the amazing entry =)

    also, as a side note, when I wrote down the lyrics I actually had Something I Can Never Have by Chaism in mind. Good song. But the other version is close enough =)


  • Memoirs of a Girl
    May 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow.

    So powerful. The emotion was so strong, and I felt that it fit into the theme of the song excellently. It would be good if we were on allpoetry. It is an excellent poem, but I wanted a story, not a poem. I'm sorry, it may be my fault for not making that clear enough. I'm going to go ahead and keep it in the contest, but if you can somehow make this into a story, that would be awesome.
    Thank you for entering.
    ~Memoirs

1 - 10 of 10