Cheshire Cat

I walk around with a knife in my heart, tearing it to shreds. You do not even see that the knife is yours. And I ache and bleed because of you. But you curse and scream, only putting another needle to my heart. You haven't the thread to sew it back together again. So you leave it there, poking fun with your needles, laughing as I bleed.1

And the air escapes my lungs. I find it hard to breathe.2

You hide away, your laughter bouncing off the trick mirrors and rotating walls. Oh, my Cheshire cat, you speak in riddles. Everywhere and nowhere you are at the same time. You mock the tears that fall down my cheeks with your angry words, “This is truth!” The truth you speak is false, and oh how grotesque you are. The real truth is that you are a monster, not the pretty feline I once knew. You've changed, Cheshire. And I'm afraid that you'll never return to me.3

Your needles have scarred me. My wounds won't seem to heal.4

Your stripes are only visible in the light, but in the darkness you choose to stay. But to me the darkness cannot disguise you. I know who you are. You turn your back on the ones you love. You use hearts as your pincushions and your stitches dissolve and reopen the wound, leaving a trail of blood along the path of forgiveness. Your yellow-jaundice colored eyes are filled with zeal for the crushing of a life. And my life has been crushed, but I won't let you hold me down.5

My Cheshire cat, forgive me for loving you. So badly do I want to hate you, but I know not how. I've wanted you gone for so long. And now that you've disappeared, I want you back.