The Immaculate Dinner

"Please, come inside. Let me give you the grand tour." said the wrinkled old biddy. Forcing a smile, she held the door open for us. 1

We stumbled inside, all thirty or so of us, and looked up. The first glimpse inside was immaculate and even more stunning than we had anticipated. The foyer was all decked out in a shiny crystal chandelier that cast a glorious presence and the dining room table at the top of the staircase was set up so nice you would have thought it fit for kings and queens. Most of us were simply surprised that these rich folks had a dinner table and a room to go with it that would fit all of us. There was even a small gift wrapped up on each plate, but none of us were brazen enough to reach out and open it.2

"This way please." The lady of the house continued to say. As we turned towards the hallway, I caught the first glimpse of Professor Bernstein's children hovering in the corner of the room. They sat together on one chair whispering and giggling almost inaudibly. The girl, maybe twelve, sat with her knees scrunched towards her chest and chewed on her polished fingernails between parted lips. She avoided my gaze whole-heartedly.3

I wasn't that much interested in their house or their blatant display of wealth. They were certified city slickers and I was used to altogether despising them. Growing up in the slums of Chicago, my neighborhood wasn't really too far-off from theirs. We could see the picket fences and well-kempt lawns from the other side of the railroad track. Hell, it wasn't too long ago, I can even remember from my youth, when our kind weren't even allowed to travel into Hyde Park. Now we could roam freely, but were not usually stupid enough to do so.4

We had reached the back of the house. There was a room that led to the master bedroom. That was as far as we would go. It looked almost like a waiting area and I wondered what was the purpose of it. On the table sat an old jewelry box that was unpolished and made of wood. It did not seem to fit in with the rest of the décor. In an instant it was removed and sat comfortably between the inseam of my britches. No one seemed to notice as we headed back towards the dinner room.5

I sat down and inspected the gold-plated china. The plates all around me let off a luminous glow set off by the lighting above. The white linen looked like it had never been touched and I pinched it between my forefinger and thumb. The color contrast between it and my hand shocked me and made it feel more course than it was.6

We ate cautiously, all of us looking around nervously as if we were making some kind of faux pas while at the same time sniffing our food suspiciously. One of the girls asked and was told it was soufflé. I would have preferred collard greens any day.7

By the end of the dinner, I was anxious to leave, but the professor was busy chatting away about the importance of education or something. It was getting late and we all looked at each other knowing that we shared the same thought, that we had better head back soon. It was October and the twilight hours were getting shorter and shorter. Finally, Jimmy excused himself and the rest of us started to follow.8

We were in the foyer with our coats on ready to go when the little wench ran out from the hallway with an accusatory look on her face. "Daddy, someone stole that old box, the one we got from Grandma. I told you, Daddy!" she screamed. Her cheeks and eyes filled in red with rage a way I had never seen before. She burst into tears and slammed a door as she ran to the back of the house. Her mother gasped and got up to follow her. The professor looked shaken and near speechlessness for the first time.9

"Alright, who's been plunderin around?" Reginald hollered. ""Looky hyeer, give them nice fokes beck their things before I throw a conniption!"10

Reginald had become the non-official godfather of us all. He was the biggest and scariest and wouldn't take no messing around when those sociology students had come around to ask questions and analyze us.11

We emptied out the contents of our pockets and showed them for inspection. 12

"What is that air thang you got in yore han', Darryl?"13

The lady of the house emerged again, exasperated. "She's right. It's gone. That box didn't look like much, but it was a family heirloom reaching back to Israel, and it's gone." Her voice heightened at the end along with her arms in frustration.14

"Don't worry , ma'am. I'm a gonna find it. Alright, everyone put your arms up." Reginald bellowed as he started to pat down the first one. He didn't get far before the girls in the group objected. A quarrel was beginning and a ruckus was about to ensue. 15

Jimmy spoke up above everyone and stared up with a look of innocence in his eyes. "I don't mean any disrespect, but I'm fittin' to go. They don't mess around in this neighborhood." he said, with his hand on the doorknob.16

Everyone looked at Jimmy suspiciously and overreacted. "Yeh, and he was the first to leave the table. Why's he in such a hurry?" one of the girls called out.17

"Jimmy, you got lots of smarts but not much edgy-cation. I'm gwine whup you, boy!" Reginald said as he started down the staircase towards him.18

"Everyone stop!" the professor yelled out before it got out of hand. "This is mad. There is no proof that anyone here even took it. I am sure if one of you did that you will return it right now. If not, then you are free to go."19

We all looked around at each other and filed out the door quietly. Reginald was the last to leave. "You gonna have dat heirloom bek in the mawnin, I promise. Thank you for the meal." he said, the latter statement directed towards the lady.20

Right before I bolted, I looked back to see the professor shaking his head disappointingly while his wife glared from behind him with her arms crossed.21

By the time Reginald had closed the door, we had all scattered like flies, but he wasn't far behind. Jimmy was the first to get frisked, but it was only a matter of time before Reginald would realize that he was not the one and would come looking for the rest of us.22

"All right, who really dunnit?" one of the girls asked, laughing. 23

"I dunno, wasn't me." said Darryl. "What would I want with some stupid old box?"24

We were nearly running now, but I was able to reach inside and bring it out while maintaining my normal strut. I opened it, not sure what I would find.25

"Dang!" I said. "Nothin inside."26

"Jamal, are you plumb crazy? That's plane ignert whut you jes did." Darryl squalled and smacked the back of my head.27

"I don't give a dam bout these high-falutin smaht folks round here. Did ya know he's writin' a book?" I said as I spat out the side of my mouth. "Writin' a book about what he done learnt from us! 'N all we gonna get is some dang meal."28

"Yeh, dem fokes sure er diffrnt. Forget 'em." 29

"Let's get out of here, Reginald's gonna catch up. I got an idear." Darryl said. 30

"Let's go that way and sneak through that-air bob war fence!"31

We all picked up the pace and followed Darryl. As we passed over the railroad tracks into our familiar territory, I gave the box one last look over. 32

"Nothin' purdy about it." I muttered under my breath and threw it into the ravine.33