Tales of An Unwilling Vampiress: Back-flap

Overpowering thirst...1

     Burning for vengeance...2

It was overpowering me... the monster inside, gnawing at me, demanding, demanding to be heard, to be sated.3

But what it wanted, I would never give. Even though, as each day passed, and my energy drained,  it got harder and harder to resist...4

He knew it would; he'd told me as much. I tried to ignore him, tried to tell myself that if I just held out a bit longer, the beast inside, the vicious monster residing within me, would be tamed.5

But I nearly slipped up. that one time. Came so close to hurting someone I loved. Only then did I realize how deadly I was to them all now. One careless mistake, and he'd have been dead at my feet. I wouldn't have been able to resist...6

 7

Emalyn's world is spinning around her. Senior year has been harsh, and it doesn't help that the mysterious new guy is giving her more eye than she wants. A hurtful incident with an ex leaves her broken, and it doesn't help when platonic relationships begin turning into something else. Sometimes she wishes she could just break free...

And then one night, a transformation occurs. 8

Tales of An Unwilling Vampiress is the story of how one young vampire, struggling between rage at her fate and love for her friends, fights to keep the hungry darkness building inside from consuming her mind. As Emalyn makes her way through the drama of senior year, from mundane things like cheerleader tryouts, to deadly face-offs with potential death at the hands of one she thought she could trust, she uncovers horrifying truths about people she thought she knew. Bitter rivalries awaken, age-old friendships are tested, and a deadly secret is disclosed. Vampires walk amongst the population of Willchester high. And one of them has marked Emalyn's friends as his next victims. 9

But Emalyn's inner strength is waning, and she slowly begins to give way to the monster inside. In the end, it takes more than her two hands to pull her back up. 10

Author notes

I wasn't sure exactly what to do here, TB. Can you tell me if this is right?

Gamer/Tiger-Lily

In a list

A contest entry

Is this what you were looking for, TB?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 29 of 29

  • Thorn-on-the-Rose
    October 13

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    who, this is exactly what I was looking for, Once I get the time, I am definitly reading this, just reading these 400 give or take, words had me sucked in, I didn't even notice that the music I was listening to stopped!! this seems like it would be the kind of story that sucks you in and you can't stop reading until it's over, I look forward to reading it, amazing job,

    -Dani


  • tallblondie Greeters member
    September 19

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry in the contest 'Novels and Chaptered Works'. The following is the review for your novel 'Tales of an Unwilling Vampiress':

    [1] Grammar, spelling and punctuation:

    I could see no glaring grammar or punctuation errors in the chapter submitted - at least nothing stuck out to me as I read the piece. It is obvious that some effort went into editing and proofing this chapter.

    [2] Word usage:

    Good descriptive language used in the chapter - especially as regards character appearances and painting the background that the scenes are set in. I perticularly enjoyed the fact that though you used some idioms - that you actually turned one of them on its head and poked fun at it (the 'pigs might fly' analogy).

    [3] Style and continuity:

    The style of the chapter submitted was formal and contained, but still allowed you freedom to move you characters through the scenes and maintain their individuality. The scenes moved seamlessly into each other, and on some occasions provided some comic relief (running to Maths class just to avoid the wrath of her friend).

    [4] Story components:

    The characters in the story are well-developed - they are both well-rounded and dynamically interact with both their environment and the other characters. I found the dialogue to be not only realistic, but also a device used by you to reveal subtle traits of the characters - especially the introduction of the new character, Alan. Opening with conflict was an excellent way to snag the reader's attention and then hold it throughout the chapter as you explore this new character's motivations, as well as your main character's reaction to his presence. The flow of this chapter was established with the pacing at the start and was sustained until the end.

    [5] Literary value:

    This chapter read quite nicely. I found the characters easy to relate to - especially since they came across as real, three dimensional contructs rather than plot devices or puppets. I enjoyed the group dynamics explored in the piece - especially the microcosm of teenage culture presented in the story. Though the concept is not entirely original, I feel that this story has good potential marketability - especially if targeted to the right group of readers.


  • rockin.reader123
    August 9
    Edit | Reply
    I can't wait to read the real thing!


    • Tiger-Lily gold member
      August 10
      Edit | Reply
      The real thing's already out on this site. If you note the list at the bottom of the story.


  • Kagoshima
    July 3
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    That was- short.


    • SnowFlakeWolf Greeters member
      October 10
      Edit | Reply
      lol. it's a backflap. the story is longer and way good. look up her story.


  • Blazing Writer
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    Sounds very very interesting. I've been meaning to read this for some time but school and all got in the way. But now that school is over, I have to time to read it. =) Can't wait.


  • Quixotic Greeters member
    June 3
    Edit | Reply
    Well Done


  • Barbara Moderators member
    May 14

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    Nice summary/set up for a back cover of a book, and the little blurb on the 'teaser' page. It gives just enough to make someone want to read to find out just how she slipped up.


  • whichcraft Greeters member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    Actually, what you have appeared to have written is two book covers. If you get rid of the picture this part, you'll have two good book back covers to submit. I like what you have written in both and would read your book if I read either of the desciptions found at the back of a book. That you for entering and you've given me a good idea for a contest I can run next month.

    I like the "overpowering thirst", "Burning for vengenance" parts you have in the beginning and the "who knew.." sentence in the second part. Take care and good luck.


  • ParadoxicalOxymoron
    May 7

    Edit | Reply
    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! I've read your prologue (it was entered in both of my contests) but I haven't read the rest of it yet... But now you've got me hooked...


  • xxHeartbrokenxx
    May 7
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    yay! it's a back flap! that wasa wonderful tiger!


  • moonwriter
    May 2

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    you entered a chapter of this in my contest nad I loved it then and I love it now. This sounds like such a great story. I can't wait for this to be published one day.


  • Laceration Happy
    May 1
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    this was good, I liked it, normally not my type, but good write.


  • TwilaTarragon
    April 30

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    I think that for a back flap, you gave way to much of a synopsis, I also thinnk that it is a fntastic idea, and am definetly coming back for the rest of it. *drools* This is definetly now on my "must read" list.

    -Twila

    . Rewarded 4


  • Amicus2K8
    April 30

    Edit | Reply

    Hmmmm...my opinion...

    You might have given away a little too much for that to be a back cover tease. Depending on who you choose to edit, do cover art and blurb, they may have other suggestions.

    Whatever you decide...the best of success to you...

    amicus...



  • dreaminwriter
    April 29

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    i knew it was alan that bit her! only her smirks 24/7! ooooh sounds incredibly good! must write(you)/ read (me) more!!!!


    • Tiger-Lily gold member
      April 29

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      Thanks :D

      Hm...Alan only smirks randomly...something to chew on. He can sometimes be really nice. XD

      I can't say he is the vamp though...wait and see!

      HT


      • dreaminwriter
        May 3
        Edit | Reply
        hmmm...very interesting. yes that is something to chew on isn't it *raises one eyebrow curiosly*

  • Chrissi
    April 29
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    DANG!!!! I LOVE IT!!! This is awesome! It really makes you want to read the book! I love the whole thing, I've read all the chapters and I can't wait for the rest of the chapters to be put up so that I could read them! Great job on the whole story! Can't wait to see what happens!!

  • ps-iloveyoustill
    April 28
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    Cliff-hanger...

    Wow. I've read all the chapters you put out, and I still had no idea that the new guy was a vampire! Wow! I don't think that ruined the story for me, because I know theres still much more to come, and I await it!! I love this. This could definently go on the back of your book. Yes, I do believe it should become a book, too!
    ♥P.S.

    . Rewarded 6


    • Tiger-Lily gold member
      April 28
      Edit | Reply
      Look again. I never say he IS the vampire. He might, but there's always two sides to everything. XD.

      HT.

      • ps-iloveyoustill
        May 5

        Edit | Reply
        But Still! Like everyone is all saying! "i knew he bit her, i knew he was the vamp" they're gonna ruin it for me... <=[


        • Tiger-Lily gold member
          May 13
          Edit | Reply
          PS, don't worry. I assure you, there's always something that's not fully out there yet. He could be, he couldn't...have faith.

          HT


  • XxTattered WingsxX gold member
    April 28
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    You know that I am already beyond intrigued with this story! I'm anxious to read more.


  • Ghost of a Siren
    April 28
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    Very, very awesome. This could work for the inside flap, or the backcover when you publish ^_^


  • DuchessAura of Brie silver member
    April 28

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    This is really interesting, and I can tell you for sure that if I saw a novel with this cover at the library or store, Id definitely get it. Good job =)


  • RxxSpiritWolfxxJ gold member
    April 27

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    You made a mistake putting this on here *mock snarl* - you've made me hungry for more.



    Three clappymen for that.

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