It Was You

I took the black pen from the table and scrawled my signature on the receipt, tears threatening to spill over onto the thin paper. I placed the pen and the receipt back in their little leather folder. A romantic dinner for two eaten and paid for by one; possibly the worst night of my dating life. The waitress came by to pick up the receipt and I vacated my chair and walked out of the restaurant onto the street.
People pushed past me on all sides while I stood outside the restaurant. Cars honked as they sat in Friday night traffic, bringing me back to Earth. I walked to the corner of the street and waited.
"Kase?"
I lifted my head at the sound of my name and looked around.
"Kase is that you?"
I turned in the direction of the voice and saw a guy coming toward me.
"Go away Max." I said and turned back to the street, away from the tall dark haired boy.
"C'mon Kase. I would've thought you'd be happy to see me." Max said, his dark curly hair flopping into his eyes. "Nice dress."
I looked down at my knee length, fire-engine red v-neck dress that clung tightly to my curves.
"Why in the world would I be happy to see you Max? All through high school you've done nothing but torment me." I said. The signal to walk flashed across the street and I began walking, Max following close behind me.
"Torment you? Me? Why, I would never!" Max was walking next to me now. "So why are you over here dressed up and all by yourself?"
"None of your business." I said shortly and walked as fast as I could in my strappy red heels.
"Oooh, a bit snappy aren't you?"
I stopped walking, turned to face Max, and slapped him across the face in one swift move. His smirk was immediately wiped from his face.
"Okay Kase. I'm sorry." Max said. "But really, why are you here, all dressed up, and alone?"
I let out a heavy sigh and turned back to walking down the street. "If you must know, I was stood up tonight."
There was no reaction and I thought that maybe Max had stopped walking with me. I looked to the side and Max was still there, starring at me.
"What?" I said defensively.
"Nothing." Max said and quickly averted his eyes. "I just don't know why anyone would stand you up. Who was he?"
"Jasper Breegard."
"What! That asshole?! He's worse than I am! At least I would never stand you up."
"Well I won't ever give you the chance to prove that."
"Why not?" Max stopped me mid step, grabbing my arm and turning me to face him.
I tried to look Max in the eye but couldn't; I feared he would see the tears welling up in my own eyes. I looked behind me and saw that we were standing in front of a park.
"C'mon." Max said, motioning to the park. "I'll show you that I can be better than that asshole Breegard."
Max pulled me by the hand through the gate of the park. We stopped under a lone streetlamp at the far end of the park and Max looked down at me with his liquid topaz eyes.
"That dress really is nice." Max whispered. The bright red dress made my pale skin look paper white.
"You think?" I asked.
"Yeah, I do." Max bowed his head to press his soft lips to mine, his hands knotting in my long, wavy, dark brown hair. My lips acted instinctively, fighting Max's for complete control.
Max pulled away too quickly and ran over to the play equipment. I watched as he climbed over the monkey bars and sat on the edge, gesturing for me to come to him. I hesitated for a second before slowly walking to the play equipment.
"C'mon Kase, let's play." Max jumped from the monkey bars. He landed and grabbed my hand, pulling me down to the ground with him. I landed hard, my fall being broken by Max.
"Hey you." Max whispered. His smile was luminous.
"Hey." My voice was barely above a whisper. Max twined his hands in my hair again and brought my mouth down to his. His kiss was deep and passionate, parting my lips and letting his tongue wander seductively inside my mouth.
"Why are you doing this?" I asked, using all my willpower to pull away from Max.
"Because." Max said. "I like you Kase."
"I didn't think that you liked me." I whispered.
"I've always liked you Kase. That's why I torment you." Max ran his large hands down my body, resting for a second on my backside.
"I like you too." I confessed. Max smiled and dropped his hands to my thighs. He pulled my legs up around his waist.
Max kissed me again. This time the kiss was wanting and urgent. He slowly started to push up the skirt of my dress.
"No." I whispered, removing Max's hands from under my dress.
"Why?" Max asked.
"What if we get caught?" I blurted.
"No one will see us." Max assured me. "We're out of the reach of the streetlamp."
"What if someone hears us?"
"We just have to try to be as quiet as we can."
I grabbed Max's hand and placed it right above my right breast so he could feel my heart beating.
"Do you feel that?" I asked. Max nodded. "How fast it's beating? That's fear."
"What are you afraid of?"
"Getting caught." I whispered. "...and I'm still a virgin."
"Hey." Max whispered. He cupped my cheek, lightly caressing it. "It'll be okay. I promise I won't hurt you." His touch was like magic.
"Okay." I whispered. Max took my hands in his and guided them to the waist of his jeans. My hands shook as I unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned his jeans, pushed his jeans to his knees.
Max pushed the skirt of my dress to my waist, his fingers running along the elastic of my panties. I hooked my thumbs over the elastic of Max's boxer-briefs. His body arched into mine ever so slightly, making it easier to pull off the briefs. My panties were shed along with my last shred of sanity.
Max pulled my lower half closer to his. He kissed my forehead lightly and whispered, "I promise I won't hurt you." Then it happened.1

After the sex Max held me close to him. He stroked my hair and planted soft kisses on my forehead while whispering nothingness to me. My chest was pressed tightly to his and I could feel our hearts beating, beating in time with each other.
A million thoughts raced through my mind, but one was clearer than the others; how much I liked Max.
"You're nicer than I thought you were." I whispered. I took a hold of one of Max's hands and played with his fingers.
"I'm a nice guy when you give me a chance." Max replied. I rested my head in the crook of Max's neck and closed my eyes. I didn't know what school would be like on Monday, but I decided not to think about it. Things would play out the way they were supposed to.

Author notes

I would have to say that my favorite love song is not really a love song. I don't really have a favorite love song. But I absolutely adore the song 'Loose Threads' by Jonas Sees In Color. (for contest)

(for contest) Note: I don't have time to read anything right now for I am in school, but I will when I get home later today.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Lady Eventide Greeters member
    October 19, 2008

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    The conflict between characters is really well done! So, bravo on that! I would suggest a wee bit more background--for all characters, even Jasper. I am glad for Kase and Max, so hope that you will write part two--like what's going to happen Monday. Will she still love him?

    Oh, this was fantastic! If you plan to write more, please keep me posted.

    I wish you luck in future writerly endeavors,

    Lady Editor

    As for typos, I noticed a "starring" that should be "staring." I also noticed you missed out on a few commas, but nothing else beyond that.


    • xXSongxxofxxLifeXx
      October 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much. This is actually one of my favorites. I actually did write a second part to it (I think its called Love Is A Lie but I can't really remember) but I don't think its anywhere near as good as this one.


  • Blackwings
    August 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I Loved this ^.^ It was cute ^.^ Things were fast paced and Kase did seem to forgive Max a little too quickly. I would've killed him if a guy like tormented me XD But all in all it was very sweet ^.^ Nicely done and thanks soooo much for entering in my contest ^.^
    ♥ Blackwings


  • moonwriter
    July 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this. It was sweet.

    But things happened a little too suddenly. It was all a bit confusing when things just happen out of nowhere. We know virtually nothing about this character Max and yet they're suddenly falling on love. Who is Max? What was their relationship? How did they know each other?

    Try to answer some of these questions in the story. A short story should leave you satisfied and content. There shouldn't have to be any questions asked or parts of confusion.

    The lack of detail made this story rushed and in need of editing. It was really good, but it could use some work to make it even better.


  • Frozen Angel
    July 6, 2008

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    I really liked this, I am always interested in a good romance. The dialogue flowed well and I love the happy ending. Thanks for entering my contest, I enjoyed reading this.

    *Frozen Angel*


  • chrisvickery
    July 5, 2008
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    incredibly good

    this has a good use of speech


  • Kai Kudou
    June 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    cool

    This was good but sadly I can only pick three finalists, so sorry.


  • NinjaMegami
    April 28, 2008

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    luvyas

    red + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mixred + blue don't mix


  • KeasbeyMornings
    April 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well, to start, can you please change the colors? This is kind of hard to read. :-/

    Anyway, after a bit of squinting, I read this, and I have to say, I liked it. It hurt me to read the part about slapping, since my name is Max and I have dark, curly hair, and I'd be liable to comment about your dress. xD

    I love how Max asserts that Jasper's worse than him. It made me smile, because he's still saying that he's bad. (And even more creepy, Jasper is my brother's name.)

    I like Max's confidence. Reminds me of myself, too! Wow. I need to give more helpful comments. I really enjoyed how you two made use of the playground. I love how you had to use all of your willpower to pull away. It gives the audience an insight into how much you like him.

    And finally, I like how you added that Max was nicer than you thought. It was a nice little tongue-in-cheek effect.

    Incredible job. I want to read more.

    -Keasbey

    • xXSongxxofxxLifeXx
      April 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much. I'll take the color thing to mind. I was reading your comment and just thinking 'holy shit this guy is in my story.' haha. Glad you liked it!

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