"In Her Dreams" - chapter

1

A few days later Teresa’s existence is back to some semblance of normalcy. She is working full days again. Her project did not suffer because she had left an excellent project plan and trained people to continue the work without her. Her kids are back home and Bob has stopped calling her to complain. McDuff lies twitching and running in his sleep in a puddle of early evening summer sunshine. Dinner is on the stove and all is as right as possible in her world. She’d let her email correspondence go for days since she’d spent so much time at the hospital. Sitting before the computer she opens up her mail and waits while thirty seven emails download. For the moment at least things are peaceful.2

Teresa pays her bills, and answers her friends. She updates her 43things list and sends thanks to everyone on her Facebook profile for their support while her dad is ill. Now she will relax and read Daniel’s emails. Three are three of them, but she figures he didn’t want to disturb her while she was with her father so they haven’t spoken for a few days and she misses him.3

“Teri,4

I’m sorry to have to do this but I have no choice. As much as I enjoy our time together and I’ve come to care for you deeply. But I have to stop this relationship now. 5

It has been very destructive to my life. You probably cannot understand how much so.6

Please do not ask me to explain. I promise that one year from today I will explain everything to you.7

Daniel.”8

Teresa looked back at the date. This email was sent a week ago right after she hung up with him the day she’d been confronted with the requirement to decide what to do about her father’s surgery. So that means he was speaking with her on the phone knowing that he planned to send this and yet he had said nothing. So then what were these next two emails? She didn’t want to read them, why bother after an email like that. Couldn’t he have had the respect to at least tell her on the phone if it wasn’t possible to tell her in person?9

But she read them. The second email was sent a few days later. It asked Teresa how she was doing and expressed his feelings for her and that he missed her. 10

“What in the world was the matter with him?” thought Teresa. “There is no doubt now that he has emotional problems.” It’s a good thing; she told herself that he broke it off once and for all. 11

The third email was totally different yet. He was asking why Teresa hadn’t answered him, why she was ignoring him. 12

Teresa closed her email and left the computer. She turned off her phone, something she had not done since her father went into the hospital, and she took something to help her sleep. Tomorrow would be soon enough to think about this, if she couldn’t keep herself from thinking about it at all.13

After class that next Saturday, Teresa approached her MIS professor.14

“Mr. Ramirez, I wanted to talk to you about the days I missed,” she began.15

“Now Teresa you know I made it clear up front that everyone here is an adult and has to be held responsible for their work,” he interrupted. “I don’t even want to hear your excuses. If this doesn’t matter to you, then stop wasting my time.”16

“Mr. Ramirez, my father is dying. He’s been ill for months and he is, as we speak, tied to a hospital bed screaming. I have been dealing with this situation for over a week,” continued Teresa in spite of his attitude. “I believe these are extenuating circumstances, and I don’t think I should lose all the work I’ve done so close to the end of the semester because of it.”17

“Well, I’ll consider what you say, but I doubt I’ll change my mind.” And he picked up his briefcase and walked out the door.18

Teresa had a presentation due in two weeks that would be half her grade in his class. This was a class that counted towards her major so it was critical that he cut her some slack or she’d have to retake it.19

Daniel sat on his porch strumming his guitar and drinking wine. Outside he could hear the frogs croaking. The night was calm without even a slight breeze. He wanted desperately to talk to her. He’d come to depend on her being there, even if ‘there’ was quite a long drive away. He knew his wife wouldn’t like it. She’d said she wanted him to continue living but in his dreams she talked to him differently. Why wasn’t she talking to him now? Did he say something wrong? He knew that sometimes he wrote things he shouldn’t but he was sure she understood him. Jackie had always understood him and forgiven him; even when he’d strayed.20

Maybe what he needed to do was to drive down and see her. That way she’d have to listen to him. He stood up and walked over to put his guitar on its stand. Picking up the wine glass, he drank down what was left, rinsed the glass and set it on the counter. Shutting and locking the back door, he walked quietly into his bedroom.21

“That’s what I’ll do,” he thought to himself as he fell asleep. “I’ll drive down to Miami and tell her myself.” She could ignore and even return his gifts, but she wouldn’t be able to just walk away if they were face to face. Jackie would never do that. He’d ask her why she left him alone. She’d have to tell him if he was there with her.22

Teresa couldn’t believe it; there was another hurricane coming. This would be the third one to threaten Miami this year. Hurricane Rita had threaten for three days while everyone battened down their homes and waited; then it had turned and left them alone. Her father had been in the hospital when that happened. Teresa had to stay with her home and her children, so he spent it alone. Her mother had gone to spend the night with her brother’s family and his kids. Apparently it was too much for her because it had taken her a week to recover from that experience.23

Now Hurricane Wilma was on its way towards Miami, and this time it didn’t look like an idle threat. Once again the hurricane shutters were closed on Teresa’s house. Once again she went to her mother’s house and lowered the awnings. They really weren’t much protection but it was her parent’s choice at the time and they’d chosen these. She turned off the power main in the house and took her mother back to her house. Her mother didn’t want to go and Teresa had to get stern with her, but in the end she’d gone.24

There they sat in the living room Teresa, her mom and Natalie watching Bobby play his latest video game. Her mother seemed oddly intrigued by the game. Apparently she’d never seen a video game before. Natalie sat curled up on the coach watching the game while she read her latest science fiction thriller. That’s one thing they shared in common; the love of science fiction specifically and reading in general.25

Outside the wind blew ferociously and periodically they’d hear a loud rumbling. Teresa thought it sounded a little like a freight train but far away. This scared her because she’d heard that tornados sounded like freight trains. The hurricane shutters would not protect the house from a tornado. She had a safe room set up, well it was more of a safe closet, but it had no windows and the door opened outwards. She had a chair in there for her mother and there were flash lights and water bottles, as well as a mattress leaning against the wall that they could use to cover themselves if the roof was caving in. It might not save them, but it was the best Teresa could do under the circumstances.26

They kept an eye on the weather news casts until the power went out around three o’clock in the morning. By then her mom had fallen asleep in the recliner, Natalie and Bobby were asleep on the coach, so it was only Teresa and McDuff awake in the house. Teresa lit some candles, there were many and they were all incased in glass in case a window broke and blew them over. The wind was howling now and the shutters and windows were rattling. Teresa was afraid this might be big enough to do some damage to their house.27

It was a long three hours until the sun started to rise and the wind died down. Tentatively, Teresa went outside in the front yard. There were trees down on the street from at least two neighbor’s homes. Her house was fine but the roof tiles from Mrs. Richard’s house were all over her yard. One had actually dented the hurricane shutter on the back west window! 28

Natalie and Bobby were outside now and McDuff, thinking they were going for a walk, ran outside holding his leash in his mouth.29

“Maybe a walk would be a good idea,” said Teresa. “But we all need shoes. Who knows what they’ll be on the streets right now.”30

They walked to the end of the block and up the main street to the metro rail. There was some kind of conduit down on the ground and there were actually cars out on the street driving over it. Teresa called 311 and reported it just in case it was important. Most homes were fine although some had window damage and many were missing roof tiles.31

They were still without power the next day when Teresa dared attempt to drive to her mother’s house. The closer they got to the house the more damage they saw around them. Trees were down and roofs were badly damaged. Some houses had large holes missing in the roof and windows gone. There were hurricane shutters lying on the side of the road. 32

They drove up to the house expecting the worse, but luckily it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. There were quite a few trees down and the back yard was a disaster; bushes and shrubs torn up and lying all over the yard. Almost all the roof tiles were gone but the roof itself looked intact from the outside. It would be easy to tell once they were inside because the rain would have left its mark. Two awnings were lying on the front lawn, one mangled so badly if it wasn’t because of the pink stripe they couldn’t have identified it. But the windows themselves were fine.33

Once inside they confirmed that the roof was water tight. Teresa turned on the power main but there was no power. Her mother had plenty of supplies and wouldn’t hear of going home again with Teresa. Teresa was tired of arguing with her, so she made sure the neighbors knew she was home and she returned to her own house, and her kids.34

Teresa couldn’t believe how time had flown this year, or how things had changed. Here she was about to walk the CallCorp upper management through their new call center, when less than five months ago she’d been about to lose her job. Her old boss Jeff had almost been gloating when he placed her at the head of the migration project. He knew that moving to the new software would be a monumental task, one he could not perform, so he thought he was sending her to her doom, or at least the end of her career. But instead Teresa had taken control of the project and forged ahead successfully. 35

Five months ago her father had been alive and doing moderately well although he’d lost most of his vision. In the succeeding months he’d gone from bad to worse very quickly, ending his days in great pain and unfortunately in the hospital instead of in his bed as he’d always wanted. Now Teresa had sole care of her mother whose health had been greatly impacted by her father’s illness. Teresa was quite concerned about her living alone, but her mother wouldn’t hear of anything else. Having her mother move in with her would be torture for her and somewhat for the kids, but in a way it would help when Teresa had to go out of town or work late. Of course, her mother didn’t want to do anything that might help Teresa so instead she stayed alone in her house and called multiple times a day asking for help.36

Teresa missed her father but she had the peace of mind that comes from knowing she did everything she could to make his last days as comfortable and pain free as possible. Now she still had before her the task of dealing with his estate and setting her mother’s finances up so Teresa could pay her bills and take care of her.37

At the beginning of the summer, Teresa had made the decision to go back to college, and as of a few weeks ago, she had finished her first semester. With the credits she got from the CLEP tests and the credits she received for her work experience over the last twenty five years, she was now a sophomore. She was still going to be using her entire Saturday for college for the foreseeable future, but it was actually happening and her employer was paying half the cost.38

The only area of her life that wasn’t coming together was her private life. She and her daughter were communicating better, that was true. Her ex-husband was still whining and complaining about keeping up his side of the agreement, but Teresa was no longer giving in to his demands. She stood her ground and he had to deal. Because of that he was spending more time with Bobby and Teresa knew her son really appreciated that. And now that Bobby was older, he and Bob were actually developing a relationship instead of just spending time together.39

The online dating had been a real dead end. Not everyone she went out with was a loser but none of them were “the one” and she was too tired and busy to deal with that anymore. All those coffee dates had turned into something more like an interview instead of a diversion. The situation with Daniel was still too painful to think about. Sometimes Teresa took it out at night and thought about it and cried. She really thought she’d met someone different, special; someone that she could help and would be there for her. 40

It had become obvious that he had a major emotional problem. Something else must be wrong in addition to his grieving. Those ups and downs were an indication of a problem, Teresa was sure of it. Either he had a drug problem, or he needed to seek help with a psychologist. But it wasn’t up to her to fix his situation; it wasn’t even up to her to help him since he’d sent that horrible letter. She wanted that situation to be over and done with, but she kept receiving flowers and cards at work and at home. Shipping and receiving was complaining, but what could she do? She’d asked him to stop but he was ignoring her. He was determined to win her back and no amount of refusing on her part was changing his mind. She’d finally told them to stop accepting the flowers and other deliveries if they didn’t come from a company.41

She’d sent him emails asking him to stop; expressing her concern about his aberrant behavior but he denied everything. He seemed to have no memory of having sent that email. He had very little memory of the weekend they all spent in Tampa. Something was definitely wrong. She’d sworn not to call him but she thought maybe she could talk to Erin and find out if there was indeed a problem.42

“So, the tour went off without a hitch,” said Rodney plopping himself into her visitor chair after it was over. “They were mightily impressed with what you had accomplished. And it was even more impressive that you were able to do it while going to school and having your father pass away.”43

“I’m sorry about that, by the way. I don’t think I ever gave you my condolences,” said Rodney in an offhand manner.44

“Emotional stuff just doesn’t sit well with me. I’m more of a get up and go kind of guy. You know?” he asked looking intently at Teresa. 45

Teresa was beginning to feel quite uncomfortable with the tenor of this conversation. Rodney had always been complimentary and a little more attentive than necessary for a boss but she thought she’d managed to convey the fact that she was not interested in him. She chose to ignore the implications hoping he’d get the message.46

“Thanks, it was tough, but I’ve almost got all the paperwork taken care of and my mom seems to be settling in to her new life,” replied Teresa straightening up her desk.47

“Hey, Teri, let’s just get this out on the table,” Rodney said standing up and moving towards her. “Want to have dinner with me tonight? Like a real date?”48

“Um… Rodney, thanks really, but I think we should keep things professional,” replied Teresa trying not to panic. He had her between the desk and the wall, nowhere to go if he decided to try anything physical.49

“There’s no need, Teri,” he said. “You’re getting a promotion, you know? We’ll be peers instead of employer and employee.” He kept stepping forward closer to Teresa.50

Teresa pushed the desk away from the wall and stepped around it. There was no longer any doubt that she wasn’t comfortable with this situation.51

“I’m sorry, Rodney, but I don’t think of you in that way,” said Teresa trying to use her best “mommy” voice. “I’m over ten years older than you are, and I usually go for older guys not younger ones.”52

Rodney looked disappointed and a little embarrassed. He starred down at the floor for a second, then stood up and straightened his jacket.53

“Yeah, ok, no worries. We’ll just make believe this didn’t happen, you know?” he said. “It was just a thought, no big deal.” And he left the room, leaving the door open.54

Teresa moved her desk back into position and sat down in her chair. She wanted to lay her head down on her arms and cry, but then she saw it. There was a package wrapped in pink and red paper on the corner of her desk. It didn’t have a note attached. Teresa called down to Shipping and Receiving.55

“Did you guys accept a package for me? It would have had to be hand delivered because it’s not wrapped for mailing,” said Teresa.56

“No ma’am, you said send them back and that’s what we’ve been doing,” replied the clerk.57

So Teresa called the guard at the front desk. “Chuck, did you receive a package for me, hand delivered; wrapped in pink and red paper?”58

“No ma’am, well that is, it was a visitor you had, not a package,” explained the guard. “He said he was a friend of yours here to see you so I sent him up.”59

“Has he come back down yet,” asked Teresa.60

“Sure as he has. He left right off, just popped up and back down,” he answered. “Is there a problem?”61

“I don’t know, Chuck, I just don’t know,” said Teresa. “I probably should have warned you. There’s a misunderstanding between me and a gentleman friend. I thought it was under control, but it looks like he’s not taking no for an answer.”62

“I’d call the police right away, ma’am,” encouraged the guard. “I’d not give him the chance to get out of control.”63

“That is an option I’d like to avoid if possible,” explained Teresa. “He’s got a daughter who is friends with my Natalie. And he’s not a bad person. He’s stopped taking his medication, and started drinking again. His daughter is concerned.”64

“I really don’t think he’s a dangerous person, except maybe to himself,” said Teresa hoping it was true.65

“Natalie,” said Teresa one evening stepping into her bedroom. “I need to talk to you about something serious.”66

“Is Abuela sick?” asked Natalie concerned. 67

“No, sweetie she isn’t. Well at least not more than normal. This is about Daniel,” said Teresa. Natalie looked worried and a little guilty to judge by her blush. Teresa continued, “Nat, what do you know about Erin situation with her father?”68

Natalie didn’t answer.69

“Has she ever mentioned if he is ill, on any medication or has problems with alcohol or drugs?”70

Natalie sighed and tears filled her eyes. “Yes, mom, Erin told me just this week that he’s been acting really weird. He’s been drunk all the time, and he stopped taking his medicine about a month ago.”71

“What medicine was he taking, do you know?” asked Teresa.72

“I don’t know but I’ll ask her.” She turned to her computer and brought up a window in her instant messenger. The icon next to Erin’s name showed ACTIVE, so she began a chat conversation.73

Natalie: Hey Erin, how’s it?74

Erin: okie dokie Nat, what’s up with you?75

Natalie: My mom is here with me.76

A long silence ensued and finally Natalie tried again.77

Natalie: She is worried about your dad. She wants to know what kind of medicine he was taking.78

Erin: I ASKED YOU NOT TO TALK ABOUT THAT!79

Natalie: I’m sorry Erin, but my mom is really worried. This is very important.80

Erin: I know, look I don’t know the name but it was for depression and he flushed the pills a little over three weeks ago. 81

Erin: he said he didn’t need them anymore82

Natalie: Erin, this is Teresa. Please, I’m not trying to cause any trouble for you or Daniel. 83

Natalie: I really wanted to help you both, dear. I thought, well it doesn’t matter. But things are just too far gone now. 84

Erin: I’m sorry. I wanted my dad to be happy. I didn’t think I was hurting anyone. I know about the emails and stuff. I was listening on the other line one night.85

Natalie: Sweetie, it’s not your fault. Daniel and I are adults and we make our own decisions. It seems like your fault because you wanted it to happen and it did, but we made it happen, not you.86

Now Teresa really didn’t know what to do. Daniel was ill and drunk. He was driving Erin to school and back. He was going out at night sometimes and always drinking. 87

“What I really should be concerned about is the fact that he knows my address!” thought Teresa. “He never did answer my question as to how he found out my home and work addresses.”88

She’d never seen any indication in his behavior that Daniel was violent or out to hurt anyone. Teresa thought Erin would have mentioned it if Daniel were potentially abusive. The only thing to do was to ignore him and he’d get tired and stop. The other option was to call the police, and Teresa was not ready to do that. She wouldn’t do it; not unless he threatened her or her children.89

Just in case, Teresa sent the kids to Mrs. Richard’s house for the night. McDuff stayed with her, and she made sure all her windows and doors were shut tight before going to sleep. She’d warned Mrs. Richards and a couple of the other neighbors, just in case, but she couldn’t really see Daniel as dangerous.90

At the end of the evening when Teresa was relaxing and surfing the internet, Erin popped up on her instant messenger.91

Erin: Teresa, I’m sorry but I have to tell you. Dad is gone. He left after he dropped me off at school this morning. 92

Teresa: Are you sure, dear? How did you get home?93

Erin: I had band practice so I got a ride home with a neighbor. He wasn’t home and the neighbors hadn’t seen him all day.94

Teresa: so you are alone? Is there any place you can go?95

Erin: yeah, I’m going next door now, but I wanted to tell you. 96

Erin: I’m scared.97

Teresa: yes, I understand that feeling. Sweetie, you have Natalie’s house number right? Call me if he contacts you, ok?98

Erin: Sure99

Erin: Teresa, please don’t let anything happen to him.100

Teresa: I’ll do my best dear. I’m hoping nothing happens at all.101

Now Teresa was beginning to get really worried, so she called her cousin Louis.102

“Hey, I’m sorry I keep bugging you, but…”103

“Prima, you aren’t bugging me. Remember if it wasn’t for your parents, I’d still be in Cuba. I owe the life I have to them,” he said with obvious feeling in his words. “Anything I can do to help just ask.”104

“Thank you so much, but this isn’t for my mom. I’ve gotten myself in a situation,” began Teresa. She explained the entire thing to him as quickly as she could. She tried to emphasize the fact that he was not a criminal but possibly emotionally disturbed. Probably not violent but still the depression and drinking made him an unknown.105

“I’m coming down there,” said Louis. “Where are the kids?”106

“I’ve sent them next door to the neighbor’s house,” explained Teresa. “A few of the neighbors know what is happening. Natalie is really worried because his daughter is her friend.”107

“Would you happen to know his license plate number?”108

“No but I have his name, phone number and address,” said Teresa. “Would that help?” She gave her cousin the information and went back to the computer. As long as McDuff was quiet, she knew all was well.109

Around eleven she’d begun to relax thinking that he’d gone back home when McDuff started to growl softly in his chest. He stood up slowly and walked towards the front door. After sniffing the door sill, he lifted his head listening intently to something. Teresa grabbed her cell phone ready to call the police if it became necessary. Suddenly the dog began to bark ferociously and ran towards the family room in the back of the house. Teresa heard glass shatter and a thump. The dog stopped barking.110

“That bastard’s hurt McDuff,” thought Teresa as she walked toward the back of the house totally forgetting that he could be a danger to her.111

“Daniel, what did you do to my dog?” asked Teresa. “What is the matter with you showing up here unannounced and uninvited, breaking into my house…” Daniel just stood there and looked at her.112

“I’ve missed you, Jackie,” he said softly, reprovingly. “Why wouldn’t you talk to me? Why did you leave?”113

“Teresa! My name is Teresa, not Jackie. Daniel!” shouted Teresa beginning to think she’d underestimated him. “I am not your wife. Daniel, your wife is dead, you know that!”114

He said nothing; just stared at her intently with reproach in his eyes.115

“Daniel you left Erin alone, do you realize that?” asked Teresa trying to appeal to the father in him. “Erin’s mother wouldn’t like that at all. You should call Erin right now. She’s worried about you.”116

“I talked to Erin already,” said Daniel. “I said my goodbyes.”117

Teresa’s cell phone started to ring.118

“Don’t answer that!” shouted Daniel, and reached out to get the phone but grabbed Teresa instead. “You left me alone once Jackie. You can’t do it again. This time we leave together.”119

Teresa stood very still and thought quickly. 120

“Daniel, do you remember how we met?” she asked, “in Orlando at the Sierra club meeting.”121

Daniel looked blank for a moment, and then a slight look of recognition showed briefly his eyes. 122

“We met a long, long time ago in another world. We were just kids really,” Daniel smiled.123

“No, Daniel, I’m Teresa remember?” she asked again. “Remember all the nights we played scrabble on the internet?”124

“Daniel, how’d you get here to my house?” she asked hoping to divert his attention, hoping a neighbor had heard the barking and called the police.125

“I drove over,” he said. “It wasn’t easy. This place scares me; there are just too many people here.”126

“Daniel, can I check on my dog?” asked Teresa. “Is he hurt badly?”127

“No, leave him there. That’s not our dog. We never had a dog,” said Daniel.128

He tightened his hold on Teresa. “We need to go now. This isn’t the place for us. I know just the place to go, it’ll be beautiful.”129

“I can’t go with you, Daniel, my kids are next door and I cannot leave them.”130

“Don’t you understand Jackie? There’s only me and you now. Erin will take care of herself,” he said. “Truth be told she’s been taking care of me since you left me. Someone had to.”131

“Have you been taking your medication, Daniel?” Teresa asked.132

“No, I don’t need that anymore. I’m not staying here anymore; I’m leaving with you now.”133