I stood in front of the solid oak door, fidgeting. I had never been afraid of entering Master Ruben’s workroom before. He had never made me feel nervous, but I was feeling that and a bit scared.1
The pranks I had played had always been harmless. I had even caught one or two Masters chuckling behind their hands. I had gone too far this time. I shouldn't have taken that scale. I had no excuse and knew I was in for it.2
I started to turn and leave the dank hallway, when the door swung open with a crash and Mastercreator Ruben’s bearded face peered through the crack. "Thought I heard someone,” he mumbled, running his fingers through his hair absently. "Well, come in.”3
He left the door and weaved his way through the clutter. As before, there wasn't a clear place on any of the tables that sat in the room. Branches, leaves and dried flowers were thrown together in piles, while papers were scattered here and there.4
I stepped in and immediately went to my usual spot near the east window. "Masterkeeper Brock said you wanted to see me, sir."5
Turning his back to me he said clearly, “Do you think you are the first to take an unauthorized scale or piece of vegetation?” He paused as he shuffled through the large stack of loose papers. “I have a list somewhere of others. I just can’t seem to find it.” With each word he overturned a different stack.6
“Ummm sir-,” I interrupted his mumbling.7
He looked up startled, as if he had forgotten I was even there. “Oh yes, Sabrina?”8
I pointed to a piece of paper that was sticking out of his breast pocket. “Would that be it?”9
Master Ruben patted his pocket, before taking it out. “Oh yes, it is.” He cleared his throat as he glanced at the paper. “Well, would you look at this?”10
I walked to his side. On the paper a list of names ran the length. Some familiar, like Madara - Mastercook; she is the chief chef of the school right now, Kellin -Masterlibrarian; he just retired, Sunsaray - Mastergardener; legendary creator of the Jump Circle and some unfamiliar, Parker - Masterbookkeeper, Bianca-Mastermagician; retired. One name caught my eye, Ruben.11
“Master Ruben, you are on this list.” I was astounded. The most respected Master at the school was on a list where my name was soon to be.12
Master Ruben smiled down at me, patted my arm and replied, “Yes, my dear. I wasn’t always a Master, you know? I, at one point, was just a student and couldn’t stop learning or getting into trouble.” He touched his gnarled finger to the side of his nose.13
“Not you!”14
His eyebrows came together and lines appeared on an otherwise smooth forehead. “And why not me?”15
“Well, for one thing you’re a master and for another-.” I paused. “Well, I can’t think of another one.”16
He laughed from his belly, a deep rumbling laugh that sounded like it should come from a bigger man. After a slight hesitation I joined in. He laughed until tears dripped from his eyes. I had stopped a while before that, unsure if I should really be laughing.17
He wiped his cheeks before clearing his throat. “Oh my dear, thank you for that. I haven’t laughed so hard in years. Sabrina, while I don't condone you taking that scale, I can understand it. You are a curious and impulsive young girl. And you are doing some amazing things, but you- we, need to focus on your studies.”18
I looked up from the list to find Master Ruben watching me closely. "Sir, my studies are going fine."19
He shook his head while grabbing my shoulders. "You must focus more. I need you ready." He gently squeezed my shoulders before dropping his hands. Master Ruben turned his back to me.20
"Ready? Ready for what?" I asked.21
"You will take Kyle and go back to Deter Fourteen. You are to observe the serpent, then report back to me. Directly to me."22
He turned to me; his cheeks above his moustache and beard were blotchy red. "Do you understand me?"23
I searched his face for any indication that he was disappointed with me. His eyes were clear blue, so pale you could imagine the polar ice caps paled in comparison. Around his eyes the worry lines were no more vivid than earlier. The only changes were his cheeks.24
"Yes sir, I understand." I started for the door. "Master Ruben, sir?"25
He glanced up from the list. "Kyle and I, we together, make larger things happen." The words rushed out before I could stop myself.26
He nodded slowly, gray strands of hair slipping down across his cheeks. "This I have noticed. We will talk more about that when the two of you return."27
I shut the door softly, walked the few feet down the cluttered hall, stepped into the sun and felt it warm my chilled skin.28
* * *29
I found Kyle with his freckled nose stuffed in an oversized book with scrolled letters, in the Second Level library. The lettering was in a language I didn't understand.30
"What's ya got there," I whispered in his ear from behind.31
He jumped and colored slightly. "It's Thurnic, from three thousand years ago," he replied without turning. 32
I pulled out a red cushioned chair beside him. The familiar and relaxing smells of dusty books and dried ink surrounded me like a fire-warmed blanket on a bitter cold night.33
“Three thousand years? What’s it about?" I asked, pushing his hand out of the way so I could see the strange words.34
He slapped my hand as I tried to pull the book closer. The sound was like thunder in the solemn room and it echoed in the silence. "After I spoke to Carmen, she did a little digging for us. Well really me. I think she's sweet on me. Gets all red and stutters over her words when I'm around."35
I rolled my eyes. "Get on with it." I knew he was telling me this to see my reaction, so I remained calm. Inside I burned. My stomach clenched like someone had reached inside and twisted with the strength of three men. This was a new feeling for me and I wasn't sure what to make of it or if I liked it.36
"Anyways, she found this book in Masterlibrarian Kellin's secert stash." He continued.37
"I thought Masterlibrarian Kellin retired?" I asked, thinking of the list I had seen in Master Ruben’s study.38
Kyle nodded. "He did, has. But he hasn't cleaned out his study yet." 39
"What does this book say?"40
"It seems that in 7582, a young man by the name of Easton-."41
"Easton is a family name." I interrupted. 42
"Whose family name?" Asked Kyle. 43
"Mine, you goof." I slapped his upper arm.44
He rubbed it like I had really hurt him, while given me an injured look. I twirled my hand in the air to hurry him along. 45
"Well this guy Easton, he could also make plants change. It goes into what kinds he could change." Kyle stopped there and read silently. I watched as his lips move quietly, translating the words.46
I searched my memory for when I had heard the name Easton. If I remembered correctly Easton had been the name of the first male child born to each member of the family. No male had been born in this generation.47
I tapped Kyle on the arm and he looked up with a questioning look. He looked cute with one of his sun-bleached brows arched and his lips pulled down in a frown. "What are some of the things he did? Give me examples." I whispered, as I poked at the tan page.48
Kyle nodded before scanning the page. "Here’s something-" He pointed to a jumble of words that made no sense to my tired eyes. "According to this, he once made a whole bed of blue Love In Mist change to orange Marigolds."49
"Is that it? Did he do anything bigger?" I asked, pushing a stray strand of hair behind my ear.50
Kyle continued to scan down the page, and then stopped before the last paragraph. "Well he changed a purple and white striped hyacinth into a buttercup yellow climbing rose."51
"But nothing in the tree category or volcanoes?"52
He shook his head slowly before sticking a finger in his mouth.53
I frowned while biting my lower lip. "Ok, lets just assume that this Easton person is a great, great, great, great and so on grandfather, uncle, etc."54
“Whoa, where's this coming from?" he asked as he shut the book. Carmen walked by at that time. She tossed her straight, black hair over one shoulder as she wiggled her fingers at Kyle. After her gesture of hello she glared at me, while Kyle blushed. 55
It was my turn to raise an eyebrow. "Wow, didn't see that coming."56
"W-what?" Kyle asked.57
“Nothing-" I dismissed it with a wave. "As far back as anyone in my family can remember there has always been an Easton." 58
"Your father's name isn't Easton, is it?" He whispered, leaning in close to me.59
I became aware of his heat and the smell of crisp apples, like someone had just taken a bite. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, taking in the sweet, refreshing aroma. I backed away quickly, unsure of what was happening.60
"No, but I remember my grandfather was named Easton and other males with the name of Easton. What if this man was part of my family?” I shrugged as I sat back hard. Dust particles floated up around me, caught in the sunbeams. 61
"If it is, what does that mean for you?"62
"Again I don't know. Are there other references to these strange happenings?" 63
"Nothing as of yet, but I've just started." He countered. "So what happened with Master Ruben?"64
I had completely forgotten why I had come to find Kyle in the first place. "I need you to come with me to Deter Fourteen. We are to watch." 65
"Watch what? The serpent?" he asked, smiling wide.66
"Yes, stop looking so smug." I shook my head.67
Kyle eagerly sat forward. "So when do we leave?" 68
"As soon as we stop by the kitchen. I'm sure Mastercook Madara is waiting with our packs. You know how word travels around here."
Author notes
Edited 5-13
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Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Great Story
I know I havn't read your other chapters, but I love how you describe the character's and the background in detail. Also the dialog flows smoothly. It draws the reader in to wanting more.
One query though, I'm not sure whether the word dank was meant to be the word dark, The passage reads, (I started to turn and leave the dank hallway,).
Overall a very good read. When I get around to it, I will read the previous chapters.

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Everything moves your plot along perfectly.
Brooke, I have read some of this story before. I liked it then, I adore it now. You have a delicious mixture of humor, romance and fantasy; sprinkled with a bit of jealousy. All great stuff for the genre you are working in
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The activity compliments the dialogue so we can see and hear the characters. Everything moves your plot along perfectly and makes this reader interested in continuing the story.
Some things to look at:
Turning his back to me he said clearly, “do (Do) you think you are the first
With each word he over turned (overturned) a different stack.6
Master Ruben smiled down at me, patted my arm and replied, “yes (Yes,), my dear.
He wiped his cheeks before clearing his throat. “Oh my dear, thank you for the that. (just that—the hasta go bye bye.)
the worry lines were no more vivid then earlier. (hmmm? more than)
"Its (It’s ) Thurnic, from three thousand years ago," he replied without turning. 32
"Here’s something-" he (He) pointed to a jumble of words that made no sense to my tired eyes.
"Watch what? The serpent?" He (he) asked, smiling wide.66


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Thanks for reading and for commenting. I have gone through and fixed those mistakes.
Again thanks
Brooke
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“do you think you are the first to take ..."
---> Do, right?
“yes, my dear. I wasn’t always a Master, you know?
---> Yes
i love the characters, extrememly responsive, alive, well-structured and perfect chemistry. i adored Ruben. i think this is an excellent chapter: just two scenes but alot happens. very nice style of writing.
i think i could do with more descriptions. you have plotline, dialogue and interaction at one side, and the descriptions are mostly left out. if you put in some more description, blend them dialogue and action - it would be fantastic.
all in all -- thumbs up!
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Hmmmm, now that's a new one. I don't think I've every been told to add more descriptions. Usually ppl want me to take some out
. Ok I will go through and add more.
Thanks for finding the errors. 
Brooke -
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LOLx. different opinions are confusing!
what i wanted to say was; well you have description regarding emotion but other than that, it's just emotion and dialogue. something that describes the picture might intrigue us more and give us a clearer scene to visualize. try that five senses formula in every new scene, that helps me alot.
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Excellent!
Haven't been on the site much, but remember this story and was pleased to see another episode posted. And I like this story, like your characters and the plot and the subtle and teasing interplay you have created and intensified in this part.
P12 L2 'were' = 'where?'
P15 L1 'other wise' 'otherwise' one word?
P61 L3 'Partial' = 'particle?'
Almost a perfect edit, good work! These little dribs and drabs of story make me impatient to sit and read several chapters at one time....hurry and publish the entire story!!!
Amicus...
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Thanks John
fixed!
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1 - 8 of 8





