Fear the Reaper (Chapter 7)

CHAPTER 71

I have become comfortably numb2

(Roger Waters)3

At 21.00 on the dot, I rang her door bell. I’d parked about 2 or 3 streets over, because I really didn’t want to draw attention to myself. For one of the first times in my life, I’d actually made it on time. She opened the door, all smiles, and to be fair she was looking on pretty good form too. ‘I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been really nervous’ she said.4

‘Well’ I’m here now’ I replied.5

‘Come on in, then’ she said, almost like an after thought, and let me inside.6

‘Okey dokey, then’ I said following her in.7

‘Right, so what’s the plan of action tonight then?’ she asked, as we went into the living room and sat down.8

‘I don’t know, but I was thinking, maybe .. If you could somehow distract them... You know, like … ring the doorbell … ask to use their phone, cause your car has broken down. Let them buzz the door open … then prop it open. Pretend to use their phone. And I will hide under the stairs and have them one by one’ I babbled.9

‘Yeah, it’s not a bad plan. But I’ve got a better idea. They’re piss-heads. They spend their evening in pubs. The likelihood is they will be passing through here at closing time, full of alcohol and unhindered feelings. I wait by the lane, let them catch sight of me and I walk in. You’re already in there, waiting, and you have them 1, 2, 3.’10

‘Yeah, that sounds a pretty good plan actually’ I replied. I began searching about in my pockets for my fags.11

‘Do you smoke? I asked her.12

‘Only when I’m drinking or stressed’ she answered.13

‘Do you mind if I smoke?’14

‘Yeah, sure I’ll get you an ashtray now’ she said, getting up, taking an ashtray from the fireplace and handing it to me.15

I took one from the packet and lit it up.16

‘Do you mind if I nick one from you?’ she asked.17

‘Yeah, sure, Help yourself’ I replied, handing her the packet.18

‘Nerves, you see’ she justified to me. I then handed her the lighter to light the fag she had taken from the packet. She lit and inhaled deeply. She then looked me in the eye.19

‘Are you speeding?’ she asked suddenly.20

Perceptive little minx isn’t she? 21

‘I am actually, why do you ask?’ I frowned 22

‘Well, you’re pupils are huge, you’re grinding your teeth and you haven’t stopped fidgeting since you got here’ she answered.23

‘Do you mind me speeding?’ I asked nervously, feeling a wave of self consciousness engulf me.24

‘No not at all. I do it myself occasionally, and I can see how it would help you’ she replied.25

‘Yeah, it gives me a bit of an edge of confidence I wouldn’t have normally. It makes my reactions slightly faster.’26

‘Well, do you want a chewing gum or something, because you’re going to drive me nuts if you’re grinding your teeth all night.’27

‘Yeah, cheers, it’ll probably stop my throat getting so dry’ I answered. She reached into her bag beside her, foraged around for a bit and then produced a packet of chewing gums and chucked it to me.28

‘You might as well have them. You’re going to be speeding for a while.’ she said.29

‘Ah thank you very much’ I replied politely.30

‘So what time do you want to make a move, then?’ she asked.31

‘Oh I don’t know, in a bit’ I answered. Debbie was really nervous. She was shaking like a leaf.32

‘Are you alright?’ I asked her.33

‘Yeah, I’m just really not sure about tonight, Rich.’34

‘Do you want to back out?’35

‘I don’t know.’36

‘Debs, it’s not a problem. If you want to back out, I don’t mind, honestly. All I ask is, don’t tell anybody who I am.’37

‘I don’t know. Last night, everything seemed so cut and dried. It felt like it might even be fun. But tonight, the idea of it terrifies me. I’ve been thinking about it all day.’38

‘If you’ve got this many doubts, I’d rather you didn’t go through with it’ I said.39

‘I was thinking about it and I can’t believe you had the bottle to go through with it.’40

‘That’s why I take the speed. It makes me confident and keeps me focused.’41

‘Those men must have been really suffering.’42

‘Debs, they tried to rape you’ I justified.43

‘Yeah, but, didn’t you feel anything when they were crying and begging? If you’ve ever done acid, you must know what they were going through’ she stated, defensively. ‘On four tabs’ she added.44

‘Yes, I have done acid and I know what they were going through. That’s the whole point isn’t it’ I argued.45

‘Yes,’ she nodded. ‘But how can you be so dispassionate about it?’46

‘It’s all I’ve got left. My feelings are irrelevant. When I’m the Reaper, I work on a basis of cold, hard logic. My emotions are not an issue.’47

‘What gives you the right to be judge, jury and executioner?’ she asked, accusingly.48

‘Experience!’49

‘Bollocks Rich, have you read the papers tonight? Those guys you did the other night are still tripping. That’s nearly five days now’ she suddenly blurted out. She passed me the paper that was conveniently beside her. 50

Ah fuck, damn woman’s gonna give me head stress.51

‘Have a look for yourself’ she added. I took it from her with a silent frown and looked at the headline. ‘Fear the Reaper - 3 committed in Reaper madness.’ 52

Reaper madness, good gag. Cool, I made the front page again.53

‘You’ve got to admit it, Rich. Four tabs is a bit excessive isn’t it? They must have been terrified.’ 54

Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag.55

I switched off.56

I always find this the best thing to do, when faced with the mental turmoil women throw at you. Just nod your head and agree with everything she says. Damn bint, what gives her the right to go off at me like that. After all, she wanted to feel she was doing her bit. She wanted to see them off the streets as much as I do. I saved her arse, and the people who attacked her won’t be attacking anyone else in a hurry, will they?57

‘Look Rich …,’ her tone mellowed. 58

Good, now might be a good time to calm the situation before she blows it all out of proportion.59

‘If you’ve got to do it, why don’t you just cut the dose? You know, give them two tabs instead of four’ she continued.60

‘Yeah, maybe you’re right’ I said nodding understandingly. 61

Cut the dose? Will I fuck? This had turned out better than I thought it would. I remember when Sam and I used to argue. She’d be nagging and talking at me. I’d sit there silently for a while. Then she’d cruelly touch a nerve and I’d explode. Mad row, raised voices. Then she’d stomp off to the bedroom and leave me to stew in my own juices as it were. After about an hour or so, she’d come back down the stairs and try to diplomatically talk me around, we’d kiss and make up and then we’d make love … Such fantastic sex. Although now is not the time to think about that cause it ain’t gonna happen. No I should be thinking about the situation. If I can just tell her what she wants to hear, then I could turn this whole thing around.62

‘I’ll still point them out to you. Just promise me you’ll cut the dose a bit’ Fucking hell, she’s still talking.63

‘Okay, you’ve persuaded me. I promise I’ll cut the dose’64

D’oh!!! What have I said?65

Shit, I promised her. That means I’ll have to do it. Make a promise, keep a promise. Right I’ll cut it down to three tabs. That way, at least, is a compromise between her two and my four. Although it’s probably better not to mention it to her at the present time.66

‘Good, I’m glad to hear it’ she said ‘I’m sorry to be going on like this, but I’m really nervous. It’s like you said last night. About wanting to make sure you’re doing the right thing. I understand why you do it, and I do honestly think it is a worthwhile cause. I just think you should give them a smaller dose. I mean , it shouldn’t go on this long, should it?’67

‘Yeah, I see what you mean. And I agree with you, I didn’t mean for it to last this long. I thought a day or two would be about the limit.’ I heartily agreed. I looked up at the clock, it’s about three minutes to eleven o’clock and the pubs will be kicking out soon.68

‘As I said, I’ll still point them out to you’ I just want to make sure that the whole thing is set up in a controlled environment, so nothing goes wrong’ she continued.69

‘That’s fair enough. I shall of course, respect your wishes’ I paused. ‘Look Debs, I hate to rush you, but we’re going to have to make a move soon. The pubs will be shutting’ I said distractedly. She looked up at the clock and swallowed as her eyes widened in realisation that the time had come. Do or die?70

‘Do you mind if we have a fag before we go? She asked nervously.71

‘That’s up to you. Do you know what time they come past?’72

‘Yeah, we’ve got about 15-20 minutes yet’ she replied. I handed her a fag and she smoked it nervously, then we made a move. It only took us five minutes to get to the point of their passing. I had made sure she had put her trainers on, in case she had to do any running at all. I put my arm around her shoulder and she put her arm around my waist (for the sake of the nosey neighbours). It made us look like a couple and a bit more inconspicuous.73

Suddenly, in the wind, I could hear the sound of distant voices. Debbie, went rigid beneath my arm. ‘That’s them’ she stage whispered to me, as she poked me in the ribs. Then I saw three silhouettes appear out of the darkness, beneath the dim street lighting.74

Debbie and I turned right, as we reached the entrance to the lane that led parallel with the street (at Debbie’s instruction).75

‘They’ll come this way to get home, because it’s quicker’ she explained to me.76

‘Okay then’ I replied, nodding.77

‘Right, I’d say they’re about 3 minutes behind us. Best find a hiding place’ she said. 78

Bloody hell, she’s more organised than I am.79

We stooped into the shadows and found a place beside someone garage. There was just about enough room for the pair of us.80

‘Right, we keep quiet and wait. When they came along we’ll just jump out on them, okay? It’s a bit cramped in here’ I said to her. 81

‘I’ve got a better idea, get ready to do them’ she said suddenly, and took off her coat, revealing tight ski pants and a low cut tee-shirt, that only just seemed to fit (very nice). As she dumped her coat, she ran out into the alley.82

‘Debbie’ I hoarsely whispered in alarmed surprise.83

‘Be ready’ she said, looking back at me.84

Unpredictable little minx, isn’t she?85

She ran a little way up the lane, presumably so I could have them unexpectedly from behind. She crouched down on all fours, seductively and began calling for an imaginary cat. ‘Come on puss’ she called. I reached into my pocket, took out my surgical gloves and put them on. 86

I then heard the voices again in the background. As I looked up the lane I saw three tall shadows stretch along the length of tarmac at the entrance to the lane, as the three entered. Then I heard footsteps getting louder as they came into hearing distance. They spotted Debbie and one of them made a comment about a pussy looking for a pussy. The other two laughed pathetically. As they walked past me, I heard Debbie call out to them. ‘Excuse me, boys, could you help me find my cat?’ she asked innocently.87

‘What do you reckon?’ one said to another.88

‘There could be a fuck in it’ the other relied, and they all laughed again.89

‘Where to is it, love?’ the first of them called to her, and began to walk toward her. The other two stayed back a little.90

‘Oh, I don’t know. It’s somewhere around here, I heard him meowing, but I can’t tell where it’s coming from. One minute it seems to be up by you. The next it seems to be down here by me’ she said convincingly.91

‘Okay, well spread out boys’ said the apparent ring leader of the three as he walked down to join Debbie.92

I then took a bottle of chloroform and a hankerchief from my pocket and emptied the chloroform onto the hankie, before quietly stepping out of the shadows from my hiding place.93

I took the first one where he stood. As the nearest one to me, he stood gawping at the others, so I quickly crept up behind him and put the cloth over his mouth and nose, he went down quietly with no struggle. As his weight fell upon me, I lowered him to the ground, so as not to make a noise.94

By this time, the ring leader grabbed Debbie, and the second one had run down to join him. I ran behind him, leading him to believe I was his mate catching up with him. I put the cloth over his face as he stopped before them, and he went down quietly, leaving the ring leader waiting for them. At the last minute, he looked around to see where they were. ‘Oh fuck’ he said, as he saw me. His eyes began to water, as Debbie brought her knee up sharply to meet his groin. And in that momentary pause of agony, I stepped forward and put the chloroformed hankie over his mouth and nose, and he went down without a fuss.95

‘It worked’ said Debbie, surveying the three unconscious bodies.96

‘Yes,’ I agreed. ‘If not a little unexpected.’ Debbie frowned in puzzlement.97

‘You didn’t have to put yourself on the line like that, Debs. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it was much appreciated, but it was a little unexpected. You had me worried for a bit’ I replied.98

‘I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean any harm. I just sort of decided at the last moment to cause a bit of a distraction.’99

‘No it’s fine, seriously. It was great seeing you in action. Just let me know what you’re planning in future, okay?’ I said seriously.100

‘Yeah, sure. Now I’ve done it the once, I can’t see it being a problem. So what happens now?’ she asked.101

‘Well’ we’re going to have to leave them here for a bit.’102

‘Why is that? ’103

‘In about ten or fifteen minutes, they’re going to start puking, big time. It’s an effect of the chloroform. And I don’t mean standard nausea, we’re talking projectile vomiting’ I explained.104

‘What if someone comes past?’105

‘It’s a risk we’re going to have to take, and I’d rather you weren’t around when they come to, because it’s pretty frightening and smells terrible. So I’ll walk you home now, then I’ll get the van, pick them up and take them to the valley of darkness.’106

‘Okay then, fair enough’ she replied almost disappointedly. I picked up on her dejection.107

‘You can come if you want to. But I thought it might be a bit much for you’ I justified.108

‘Yeah, you are right. I think I’ve had enough excitement for one night’ she replied.109

‘Good, then we are agreed. Shall we go then?’ I said theatrically holding my arm out for her to snuggle under. She came over and tucked herself under my arm, that now rested on her shoulder again, as hers snaked around my waist. She was shaking probably a touch of shock. ‘I tell you what, Rich. I’m glad I went through with that tonight. I surprised myself’ she said thoughtfully,.110

‘You surprised me as well, and not unpleasantly I might add’. We laughed. We then walked to the end of the lane and I walked her home. She was in much better spirits and a lot more positive about things. By the time we got back to her place, she was much better than she was earlier. We had a coffee and a fag, as I told her what I had planned for the night. She thought it was a good idea for illusion to use the flour and water on their faces and the mirrors. But she made me promise to take an eight gallon container of water to mix in with the flour, to wash it off them later and give them at intervals to prevent dehydration. So she contributed the water container, a washing bowl and a dessert bowl. I put them just outside the front door until I was ready to leave.111

After about three quarters of an hour, I made a move. The water container as you can imagine, was heavy. So I went and got the van and picked it up, along with the bowls before I checked on my captive audience to be. Debbie was right, anyone could have passed and seen them in the meantime (12:06 am. Still quite early).112

I backed the van down the lane as far as I could. As it happens, it doesn’t look like anybody has been near, or if they had, they hadn’t waited around to see what was going on.113

As I opened the van door and stepped out, the pungent smell hit me. That familiar contents of stomach and bowel smell, that had hit me a couple of days ago. I popped a chewing gum into my mouth and pulled my jumper up over my nose and mouth as I felt the bile rise up at the back of my throat. All three of them were lying pretty still, groaning weakly.114

Good, good, good. It looks like they have finished puking. I’d better bundle them into the van, while the goings good. 115

So I dragged them to the van, one by one, climbed in and pulled them in, one at a time.116

I looked up suddenly as I heard a sound. It was somebody’s window opening. ‘Fuck off, you sick junkie twats’ someone shouted. I nearly jumped yards as a stone bounced off the door of the van. I was lucky I was behind it.117

No suspicions formed there then, cool.118

So I closed the van door and made by way around to the driver’s side. ‘That’s it. Fuck off’ I heard as I started the van up. I then pulled off. The next stop - the valley of darkness.119

I’m making pretty good time as well, it’s only 12:22 am. Thank you Debbie, you’re a babe.120