Outloud. [Art class is a blur.

This is a story, well its going to be, but its written as poems on each page. =] Kind of like those "What my girlfriend doesnt know" books. Thanks for reading!1

Art class is a blur.2

Eyes stick unconsciously from a distance.3

Black shirt,4

Skinny jeans5

and old black converse.6

Thick black hair, shaggy and untamed.7

Pushed to the side with a swipe of one hand.8

Skin so pale.9

So scarred and untouched.10

I shiver as I think.11

Perfect teeth, never smiles.12

Arm flexes as it moves across the table.13

Infatuation, such a disease.14

He pushes the hair away,gazes in my direction.15

I give him a rude look,16

trying to hide it.17

Green eyes squint back.18

As he turns away i breathe.19

Breathe, breathe, breathe...20

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Oblivion Kitty God silver member
    May 27, 2008

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    Nice. Sounds like it'll be an interesting story. I hoep to see the full length version soon! Good job.


  • Crying Angel Eyes
    May 5, 2008
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    Great i love the who breathe breathe breathe thing great job


  • Tiger-Lily
    May 2, 2008
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    Wow, very good! Love the "infatuation" line. Inserted at the right time.

    Great flow.

    HT.


  • Your Anything
    April 30, 2008
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    You put so much meaning and made it seem so simple!


  • secretladyspider
    April 25, 2008

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    I love it.

    I'm not just saying that, I love it. I like how it seems so emotional, and yet so simplistic... wow. I'd give you applause but I'm all out.

1 - 5 of 5