She’s endured so much pain, so much humiliation, so many rapes at the hands of the men who questioned her, that her very will to live has been broken. One of the men, even fathered a child, though she knows not which one. She suffered the loss of that illegitimate child, for she was even blamed. You see, in one of her trials, her questioners even accused her of being impregnated by the Devil himself. And upon the loss of that child, a loss brought on by the very torture inflicted upon her, she was taken before the magistrate, where her accusers even said if it had been a “Godly” child, it would have survived the questioning.2
Now, she knows it has finally come to the end, she has resolved herself that the pain will now end for her, as will her life. Yet, as the final act of humiliation, she’s being led through the streets, naked, for all to see. A rope is tied to her wrists, even as she stumbles, the rope continues to be pulled, often by an unseen force. People are calling her names, like “Witch” and the like. The crowd around her, is screaming, “burn witch” calling her names, like whore, for they know what she “did” during her tortures, though without a doubt, none know what really occurred, only what they were told. And that was only that the good and pious men charged with getting the “truth” from her, had taken care of the Devil’s child.3
Her eyes are sunken in from all the torture, lack of sleep and nourishment, and the beatings she’s endured. Her skin, a mere shadow of what it once was bears witness to the scars that cover her body from the Iron Maiden and the urine poured into the broken skin and allowed to fester. She feels something liquid with some rather soft solid matter, she realizes that it is human excrement, thrown onto her by one of the many people watching what’s going on. She slowly rounds the bend, and sees before her brush, heaped in a pile, a long pole, “the stake” and a small platform on top of the pile of brush. Stairs lead up to the platform, she knows this is all prepared for her. 4
Yet even now, more humiliation, more words thrown at her like spears. She wonders to herself, what she could possibly have done to prompt this treatment she's endured all these many months. Yet, she hardly has a clue. All she knows is she was accused a witch, and all the torture she’s endured to get her to confess.5
As she rounds the final bend she’s led up to the platform, men are there, calling her a witch, and telling her that the fire will purify her soul. One man, down below has a lit torch in his hands, waiting for his colleagues to finish with her. One man, in a priest’s hassock, holds up his hands and the crowd silences. 6
He begins to speak, “Hear ye good people, we are here to purify this poor woman’s soul in preparation for her to enter into Heaven. She has been confessed a witch!” He turns to her, “What say YOU?” She has no answer, for she can hardly speak. After a few moments of silence, he says, “Since you will not speak, witch, then allow me to speak for you, you have been confessed a witch, and therefore must be purified by fire. May God have mercy on your soul.” Then, he leaves the platform.7
When he reaches the bottom of the steps, he walks over to the man with the torch in hand, blesses the man, with a voice she can barely hear over the din of the crowd. He then takes the torch from him blessing the pile of brush below her and the men on the platform. 8
With that, the other men on the platform take her to the stake; she looks down upon the hole in the platform she’s never seen before, though she’s seen many burnings in her day. Iron shackles on either side of the hole are placed around her ankles, spreading her legs above the hole; her wrists are shackled to the stake, then a man carrying a bucket, with a thick black liquid in it and what appears to be a brush. He takes the brush dips it in the liquid, and begins to spread it on her naked flesh. She knows what this is, it’s pitch, and she feels the burn from the liquid as it’s spread, and she knows what its purpose is, to help her burn. Then, humiliation of all humiliations, she feels the brush between her legs, in her most sensitive areas, the burn is almost unbearable, she screams out in pain as the brush is pushed inside her. He spits on her face, as he says, “BURN WITCH, let’s see if you can get out of this one!” and laughs as he is the final person to exit the platform.9
The priest, one she has now recognized as one she’s known most of her life, takes the torch in hand, and walks around the pile of brush below her, lighting the brush as he goes. The smoke thickens as the brush lights, she looks down, and begins to understand what the hole below her is for, for the platform is thick, and won’t burn easily. Smoke begins to rise as well as heat from the hole. A flame shows below her, she knows it won’t be long now, she looks to the sky, and wonders what is next for her, after this brief pain. The flame licks her ankle, setting the pitch afire, slowly engulfing her in flame; she screams in agony as the burning pitch inch by agonizing inch consumes her flesh. Through her screams she can still hear for the moment the crowd, yelling “BURN WITCH!” Her screams reach that of total agony, then slowly diminish as her flesh turns to ash, her thoughts have stopped, for she knows nothing but agony from the flames consuming her. She gives herself to those outside of herself, and dies.10
Author notes
this is a work in progress, so keep checking back for further updates, revision 1
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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Wow, that was really graphic and sad ... it's horrible to think that this is an example of only one of the hundreds of cases of people tortured, humiliated, degraded and killed most gruesomly during the Inquisitions, witch hunts, dark ages, etc., etc. It's so horrible to think that these acts of violence were sanctioned by the "powers that be" in those times ... but I always love to read stories like these. I think it's because these stories are avenging these poor, innocent lost lives and teling their stories and just how horrible it was that they were taken by the disgusting ignorant fear and fanaticism of those times. I will check for more of your stuff, too. I'm sure whatever more you did with this story is great, too. Loved the write!
~Laura -
This was just gripping. It had me on the edge of my seat. I read it, then I went to another poem to let it soak in and it did. There were a lot of details in here that were missed or forgotten from the orginal stories. I am glad to see them included here. Although, this may have been upsetting to some, that's good. People should be exposed to true and vivid accounts of what happened in these times. You know I believe the same thing goes on today, just in a different manner. I can't wait to see the next chapter of this.
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it's gonna be interesting! i hope to have it completed by summer, and submitted for publication!
i just hope it opens some eyes, as it and others in the series are intended to do. and as far as i can tell, it'll be as accurate to actual happenings as i can make it, the practices and injustices done on "witches". one of the books in the series will deal with how the "so called" antichrist will take power, and who it will be! keep an eye out!
blessed be
mike -
Mike, well done and quite captivating with the imagery. It makes the blood run cold as your read it and also brings to mind the reality that it's possible that it shall all start again from ignorance as the world changes once again. Doubts come and once nothing is left to blame, it is those that are misunderstood that shall suffer the pennance of the "holy" to appease the guilt of their own "sins" HA! And their "devil" shall laugh at that, yes he shall, for he will know the truth, that they are but fools that follow to their own darkness in the guise of light LOL! Oh, don't even get me going here LOL Anyway, I think it's a great start to your story and I've read your comment below about where you are wanting to go with this, sounds like a well thought out plan of action and you've got the flair to take it there my friend. Great job hun. Hugs & Blessings, Gypsy
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Oh god that's horrible...
I recently read an article in the paper about a girl of 19 with a mental age of 8, who was put into prostitution by her mother, raped hundreds of times, became pregnant and was given lashings for it(this was in Iran I think...), this pregnancy and lashings happened twice. She has been caught doing prostitution by the government and is sentanced to death. People are so irrational and so evil...
This story was graphic. And probably not far from a truth in some time in history.
It made me flinch as I'm sure it did to the others who read it. -
actually, the iron maiden was only used to torture, not necessarily to kill, the spikes in the door were adjustable, allowing some to contact skin, whatever the torturers wanted to do. often times they'd do just enough to pierce the skin, and then pour urine, feces (sp), and other vile liquids in the open wounds, causing infections, burning, etc...
thanks for your comment...
if you'd like to research out more, check out a book called the malleus malfecorum (witch's hammer) first published in the 15th century. it was written by and for the torturers of witches, on how to get "the" confession out of "her" (yes, it says that in several places)
here's hoping we never see such times again, but, i'm afraid we will...
thanks again
mike -
Great read very strong on he visuals, one thing check ou the iron maiden if my memory serves me write she could not have survived if it had been used, but it is mant years since I did research and I could be wrong, this is a fantastic story, the stories of the so called witches were so sad, often they had done nothing and were killed for nothing, but I wonder if the world has really changed? you have a lot of talent and it was a great pleasure to read your story, I am sure it will fasinate a lot of readers, good flow did not loose the interest of the reader at all, keep penning, you write well, I will be back to read some more of your work, all the best you deserve it,
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this drove me to tears...it's disgusting the stuff people put other innocent people through...sorry that was phrased poorly but I'm so upset about this kind of thing. thank you for the wonderful write *bookmarks*
~erika
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This is utterly tragic Mike
What hurts my heart the most is knowing that incidents just like you describe here really have a place in our history. That people actually did this in the name of "God". Utterly disgusting.
I am liking the start you have here though Mike. I agree with Von~~ I would like to know this Lady before this so I can become even more attached to her~~ to truly feel the full magnitude of her loss.
This is a wonderful start Mike. Very vivid and electric.
~~Dawn
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trouble is, most people executed as witches were no more guilty of following the old ways than the people who convicted and executed them. most were tortured into making "the confession" and the overwhelming majority during the burning times were in fact women. many of them widows of crusaders, and quite pius beforehand... just a bit of food for thought!
mike -
wow, this brought tears to my eyes...thinking of the cruelty shown to witches. in fact, i suppose if there wasnt religious tolerance, id probably be burning as well. eh...it pains me to think of what those men/women/and children went through for the Lord and Lady. *sigh* this is an amazing write, i can tell you put much time into it, because it shows. and if you didnt, and you just randomly wrote it then, damn, i think i give you even more credit. well, thats about all i can say (i have teachers looking over my shoulder..grrrr *spits fire at them all* lol) great write, once again!
-megan- -
it's the beginning of a book, the first chapter in fact, as time goes by, it'll be more perfected...
the story will be told like you see it in it's final form, then, it'll cut to her at 15, betrothed to whom would be her late husband later on in the book, and then, detailing her trials, torture, etc at the hands of the inquisition -
A very interesting body of work here Mike. I would like to know how she was placed in this predicament, something about her life prior to the burning. To give the reader a comparison between her earlier life and the degradation she is suffering now.
It has the basis of a fascinating story. I'd like to keep up with the events as they unfold.
~Von~
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This sort of reminded me of the Salem Witch trials of 1692(I think that was the year of the witch trials), and it also reminded me a little of Joan of Ark who was burned at the stake, but not for the same reason. I very much enjoyed reading the story so far. I will be sure to check back for further updates and revisions. I love the imagery. It almost felt as though I were standing in the shadows, maybe in an alley or behind a tree, but unseen to the crowd. Underneath the screams of "Burn Witch"... I can hear the sobbing inside my own soul as I peer out occasionally, praying for the end of her pain. Okay, now I need to get back on track here. This was an interesting piece of work. I am definitely looking forward to the revisions and updates.
becca
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Great write
Are you talking about my life. I can understand this a lot and a lot of these things happend in my life. I really liked it. Great write. I understand this b/c I feel like I'm being burned for a lot of reasons
Edited on Jan 12, 2:00 p.m. because 'wanted to explain how it fit my life'. -
Guilty!
That was great! I really like the story. It is a dark read, but I really liked the beginning. The ending paragraph, though was kinda long, the last 4-5 sentences would have made a good ending paragraph. I didn't really like how the ending was shown, but beyond that, it was really good. -
must-read!
Great quillwork!
I knew you'd make it to the f box!
Congratulations!
Pen on! -
first of all, i want to say thanks for your comment and constructive critism, yes, i know it's very rough, and i'm not happy with the results so far, but, it will be revised more and more as time goes by, so, feel free to keep checking back from time to time, to see what the latest revision says. this will in time be the first chapter of a book i'm working on
thanks again!
mike -
My first reaction is generally positive: you've got an excellent plot, very good descrption and good characterisation.
I don't feel emotionally connected to the witch, though. The reason for that is mainly the language you've used. First of all, using the third person and particularly by the repetitive use of the word 'she' keeps the reader always conscious of the space between themselves and the character. By simply changing some of your sentences so that the focus shifts from the witch to the events you'll reduce this effect.
Your description is good, I've said that, and I mean in the sense that I can 'see' what you're describing. However, such a shocking topic needs more than just the image, it needs an emotional punch as well, and I feel that is lacking from this. Part of the reason is that the description is too wordy. For example, you've said: "Her eyes are sunken in from all the torture, lack of sleep and nourishment, and the beatings she’s endured. Her skin, a mere shadow of what it once was bears witness to the scars that cover her body from the Iron Maiden and the urine poured into the broken skin and allowed to fester." Compare that to: "She regarded the crowd with sunken eyes, head spinning from lack of sleep, the insults they slung at her blending into a callous throb of hatred. With each step of her bare feet on the stony road, with each throb of her heart, pain coursed through the swollen bruises and inflamed contusions that scattered her once-perfect skin." In the second version, I'm trying to take you into her head, keeping the action immediate rather than postponed for description. I'm also using words with negative impacts: hatred, coursed, inflamed, contusions, insults, slung, which keep the emotional impact fresh. I'm not saying you should use my words, I simply want to illustrate my point about emotion and description working together.
My final (slight) criticism is the narrative flow of the story. You've begun with a dramatic image, and then had to regress back to the 'dull' bits that happen earlier on. I feel it would work better from the perspective of developing drama if the story moved in a more linear fashion. My suggestion is that you have your current start point as the 'now' of the story. However, I would start with images or flashbacks of the 'witch's suffering, and then, half way through the story, start the walk to the fire. (That's because I'd hesitate to commit to a real-time description of torture, rape, trial, pregnancy and burning in a short story.) You can also use it as a narrative device: if you keep the beginning of the story disjointed, you'll emphasise the 'witch's state of mind at the end.
Oh, and 'You see' doesn't work in this context (paragraph 2)
.
I know I'm suggestion major revisions to the work here, but that's not because I don't think the work is good. Rather, I think it has great potential, but I feel that the tone and language of the story are just not quite working with the story. Unfortuneately those things are some of the hardest things to fix...
Good luck with your revisions and I hope that helped somewhat!
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I can see you put alot of time in this, seems like a story I know of, but this one was of a man, and as you know many did not believe His innocents, and therefore he was hung on a cross, though this was His destiny...Like the twist here, thanks for sharing, pen on!
-Timothy -
I really liked it I love things about witches call me old fashioned but it is great.
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well, since it looks like you actually comment and participate, perhaps I will read and comment.
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Well-written..could use some editing..I couldn't read all of it..I am very sensitive to pain, my own and others.
Maureen -
This was just.. amazing.. I say this because I feel it is somehow related to Nathaneal Hawthorne's "The Scarlet Letter". I don't know if you've read it or not, but it's about a woman who commited adultary, and is condamned to stand for hours in front of a huge crowd, holding her child to her breast and revealing the scar she's meant to carry forever.
Anyhow, this was very well penned, and I deeply admire your work. Keep it up, and let me know when you're done with the revisions!
Nour- -
I am not sure where this came from, but wow. Great write, word for word it is awesome. I am definatly interested in your writing from this piece and will have to look into other works. Thanks for sharing this with us.
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reminding
solid, i mean like every word and every next sentence it's just solid. solid like metal.lol. very good. i've never read something like this one. -
HOLY HELL I FORGOT TO APPLAUD THIS!!!!!!
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Brutal Caustic Calamity of Delight
this is pretty good.
nice and graphic.
also reminds me of my disgust for christians in general,bunch of racist,hypocrital,greedy,child molesting,self serving bastards.
sometimes i think if i were religious,i'd be a muslim,just so i could have a reason to "who knows what" to some of them.(hell that will offend a few people im sure,oh well)
again,excellent writting.and if this is as yet unfinished,i cant wait to see the end result.
-cheers -
wow, this really got to me, as im wiccan, and people often call me a witch. its a really imaginative, descriptive piece of writing. you have used lots of really nice imagery. its really good piece of work, i want to see more from you
keep up the good work
-mina- -
this is pretty good yet the whole wich/ salem mass hangings, leaves me uneasy. OYu als may want to give the charachters life by giving them names, otherwise i liked it
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Mike this is bloody captivating and amazing....
thanks so much for inviting me to read this...
xxx sarah (rhi) -
It is very interesting..pulls you right into it.....thanks for sharing...
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Wow I love it. Im not sure why but Its wow. breath taking
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I like it. I like the thought that you put into it. I also like the detail. Whoa I don't think i could ever write something like this. Keep up the good work!
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that is really good i do't know wy you imed it to me but im glad yoou did it was very good
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this is a work in progress, and will be updated as time goes by, please feel free to check back from time to time and give your honest opinion to it!
mike -
Interesting, but you tend to waver in and out of focus -- thereby losing the reader emotionally. For instance:
"People are calling her names, like “Witch” and the like." This is a pretty generalized statement....where's the emotion? "and the like?" just doesn't do it.
I think this needs to be tightened up a bit, but you've certainly got a good start. I've always thought the witch trials were a sad time in man's history. -
Pouring urine in open wounds? That's just wrong! lol. But you portrayed it with a great deal of emotional integrity. The story could use a bit of cleaning up, in that there are words you tend to use too frequently... nothing major at all, but would make the story flow easier with the editing. I enjoyed this. The story is one we've all heard before, but I like reading it from such a personal perspective. Good job on this.
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Wow. I'm really not sure what to say about this; it was very sad but the writing was superb. Great job on this, I am impressed. I will be checking back to see what happens, if anything.
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2 Thumbs UP!!!
For years now I have been fastinated bythe Salem Withch trials, the danger of it all, and this story is brilliant. It looks as though the language carries a good volume for the time, which was in the late 1600s. This piece draws me to it unlike any other I have ever read. It made me want to cry. It made me want to burst out in anger. But most of all, it made me think. To think in a way I have never done before, and it threw me into introspective. The way this was portrayed in the beginning made me think, 'Oh, God, another rape story where theykill her and get away with it.', but it wasn't. It was something graphic, and horrible, that sent your mind tingling, but at the same time it was beautiful and historical.
As I said, this story is a complete jaw-dropper, and if anyone even thinks to tell you different, then they are utterly wrong. Great job. Your talent is exquisit. Please expand this story, though. I would love to read something with more detail here and there, you know,( The platform on which the priest stood was wooden, and it was covered with knobs, no doubt made with pieces of left-over wood.) Somethin' like that. I don't know, I just love description!
Lost In Time
Lost In Soul
~Miranda~ -
Very well-written. I think the only way we can read about these burnings in history is to detatch ourselves from the horrors surrounding them. I've consciously avoided thinking of details in my mind, because thoughts of deliberate, calculated torture is so beyond my "comfort zone". It's more than I can imagine, and yet, I'm confident any written account (regardless of how graphic and detailed) cannot equal the actual event.
There is much left here to be told, and as appalling as it is, it is also compelling. You must continue it.
m -
Interesting read. I am no expert in this field by any means, but I always thought 'witches' were told what their 'crime' was? Such as souring the milk of a neighbor's cow etc. Maybe that's only in the movies. Reading this account does make one think .
Val -
sooooooo long but its nice
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Hm. ALtho the witch craze in Europe is often made to be more than it really was, your perspective is certainly accurate. Many people were condemned to burn by the Inquisition, and despite your taking liberties with a few details, I am sure that there were instances to fit what you have described.
A quote on the thought:
Near every place
Where witches are burned
There hangs an placard
Invisible to human eyes:
"We are proud to report
zero working days lost"
Signed,
the Managment
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very nice story, it was very well expressed, i havent read anything like this before, the emotions in this are very strong, its amazing lol, keep writing like this, im amazed












