[ I was like a giddy 13 year old with a larger-than-life crush, so when he befriended me on the latest “chat” program, I could barely contain my excitement. The adult side of my brain rationalized with this child in me that he probably just added everyon

I was like a giddy 13 year old with a larger-than-life crush, so when he befriended me on the latest “chat” program, I could barely contain my excitement. The adult side of my brain rationalized with this child in me that he probably just added everyone in his address book. I figured we’d never actually “speak” on line since I’d been asking him to download AIM since he moved to Nashville five years ago.1

Imagine my surprise when about five hours later his name appeared on my buddy list. Gulp!! “What should I do?!” I asked my closest confidante. “Just be yourself,” she told me. 2

Yeah… that would blow everything, I thought. I’d flirt, he’s not interested, and there goes that friendship! So I made the conversation as brief as possible and merely slipped in a compliment about him having been an awesome guitar teacher. I almost choked on a potato chip when he suggested we begin lessons again, this time through video chat. Video chat??? Fuck guitar lessons, all my mind could see was him on camera! OK, play this one cool, kid. “That’d be awesome…” I replied, only to go immediately off on a tangent about something else entirely just so I could disguise my wildly out-of-control crush.3

He stopped talking and I immediately signed off without another word. Of course the child in me hoped he was disappointed I didn’t run with that video chat discussion, but I knew like every other time. I’d email and he wouldn’t respond – too busy with his life of music to reply to my every whim. This was just another one of those things.4

Of course, just in case it wasn’t, I woke up the next morning and emailed him that I thought it was a great idea and to let me know if he really wanted to try it.5

No return email. Just as I figured.6

About three months went by before I finally got to see him live and in person at a bluegrass festival. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of seeing him, so I didn’t go up to the merchandise table to say hello after their first set. “Play hard to get,” I could hear my best friend saying. This was an acting job for sure. We both knew all he’d have to do is say the word and I’d be his.7

Later on that evening, his band played a second set, and I was lucky enough to snag a free seat down in the first row that no one had claimed. (OK, I’ll admit I got there so early for his set that there were plenty of empty seats!) I figured with the stage lights, I’d be safe. There was no way he could see me.8

That’s why I was completely baffled when I saw him looking down from the stage during the set with the oddest expression on his face. It looked like he was looking right at me with what appeared to be anger or confusion. Couldn’t be, I thought. I’ve been on stage. You can’t see a thing when you’re up there. MOST of the time, I added to myself.9

The set ended and I panicked. If I don’t say hello I will seem like a complete asshole. We’ve been friends for ten years. But if I do say hello and there’s dozens of people around, I don’t want him to feel like he’s got to babysit me or go out of his way to talk to me. And how will I not be a babbling idiot? Whenever I really like someone, I talk on and on like the local sevant.10

Remember, you have a year and a half of meditation under your belt, I reminded myself. The chatter in my head was starting to annoy me.11

I decided to play it cool and pretend to go to the porta-potties which were conveniently located just past the merch tables. Maybe he’ll see me or maybe I’ll happen to “bump” into him.12

And that’s exactly what happened. I didn’t expect my plan to work out quite like my fantasy has hoped, but there I was, running smack into him so hard that it startled me. “Oh my god, I’m sorry!” I must have looked dazed and confused.13

A big smile spread across his face as he almost laughed at me, but it quickly turned to a frown… “You weren’t going to stop and say hello?” 14

“Oh, no, I was… I just had to pee first.” (Aw shit, such an attractive visual… what an ass I am, I thought to myself).15

“I saw you wandering around earlier and I tried to get your attention but you looked lost.”16

“Oh, you mean earlier today? I was probably looking for the workshop tent.” LIE!!!!!17

“Oh.” He sounded disappointed.18

I decided to play things light. “How are you?” I asked in a sing-song voice as I leaned in for a kiss.19

“Great now,” he said in a husky almost-whisper. As he leaned in to kiss me he didn’t turn his face to the side as you do when you are going for a kiss on the cheek. I had no choice but to kiss him on the lips, unsure if that’s what he wanted. I hoped to God I wasn’t being too presumptuous.20

I thought I heard a “mmmm” escape his lips as he kissed me, but with the noise of the crowd and the next band starting, it was impossible to tell. And Lord knows I like to live in my fantasy world. Better to play it safe than to be sorry.21

“Well I guess I should get back to my campsite,” I told him. I was so nervous I just wanted the conversation to end, crawl into my tent, and dream about him.22

“Why don’t you come back to the bus? I could show you our new tour bus.”23

“That’d be freakin cool!” I exclaimed.24

“Come on,” he said, as he guided me in the right direction by putting his arm gently around my waist. I could barely feel his touch but I trembled inside nonetheless.25

As we boarded the bus, I saw that no one else from the band was on yet. “We don’t have to leave till morning,” he explained. “They’re out pickin’ in the campgrounds.”26

Ohboy, I thought to myself. Alone on a tour bus with the sexiest man in bluegrass. Just great.27

I said nothing.28

He gave me the guided tour which took all of three minutes, and he saved his bunk for last. “And this is where I sleep,” he said as he plopped down on the mini bed. He patted the space beside him. “Come sit,” he said as he flicked on the TV and leaned back.29

I was sure he would feel my body shaking the second I hit the mattress, but if he did, he disguised it. We fell into an uncomfortable silence. Well, at least for me. He seemed to be perfectly at ease. Finally, I settled in, figuring he just wanted to relax and watch TV, so I figured I’d get comfortable too. I lay back just as he had done, and he quickly sat upright. Dammit, I thought, but he merely reached across me and grabbed the curtain to his quarters and pulled it closed. As he settled back, he moved much slower than he had when he got up to grab the curtain, and I wasn’t sure if it was my imagination or did he linger as his body brushed against my chest. I could have sworn I heard his breath catch. It was probably just my own, I chastised myself.30

When he settled back down his hand fell to his side, which conveniently happened to be right next to mine. I felt his hand rest lightly against mine and I so desperately wanted him to hold my hand. I think I must have stopped breathing because he turned on his side to face me and asked in a sexy voice, “What’s wrong?”31

“Nothing,” I whispered.32

“You sure?” he whispered in return as he inched closer.33

I had no choice but to look at his lips as his face was inches from mine. Was it my imagination or were they moving closer and was he looking at my lips in return? I cocked my head sideways for the inevitable kiss, but he stopped only millimeters away from my face. I could feel his warm breath on my face and I held my breath waiting for a kiss that seemed like it would never come.34

I felt his hand fumble around for mine, and once he found it, he grabbed mine so gently it tickled. I let out a big breath of air.35

“What was that for?” he asked.36

“I can’t breath when I’m around you,” I admitted. Here goes nothin’, I thought.37

“What, do I smell or something?” he joked. 38

“You’re awesome,” I answered. What an idiot I am!39

“If I’m so awesome, how come you never talk to me online?”40

“I talk to you!!!”41

“Yeah, for like two seconds.”42

“You…. make me nervous,” I admitted.43

“Me? I thought it was the Cousin who gets you all flustered.”44

“Ew, no. We haven’t had a thing for years.”45

“Really?!” he said with surprise and what sounded like excitement.46

“Really,” I said defiantly.47

“Then does that mean you’re available?”48

“Available for what?” I asked.49

“For this,” he whispered, and moved the last few millimeters in for a kiss.50

“I’ve been available for THAT for years,” I said, now sure enough of myself to joke back a little.51

“You mean we could have done this years ago?”52

“No,” I said with a twinkle in my eye. “You didn’t have this tour bus years ago.” I giggled as he flipped over and straddled me. He rested above me, arms locked tight as he gazed down at me.53

“I’ve wanted you forever,” he said.54

“Well now you got me. Forever,” I told the man of my dreams.55

I guess fairy tales DO come true.