Blood or Love (part 1)

In land where there were no flaws and where there were no errors, there was a man by the name of Adrian. Adrian lived alone in a house outside of the normal view of the town beside him. The town, thankfully, was outside his properties district, so the Governor of the town could not tell him that his weeds were to tall or his cows were free grazing, because they did not have the authority, but to the towns avail, Adrian was not a bad neighbor. Actually he was quite a good one, thought few really knew who he was and what he did when he was not plowing the Fields or feeding his animals.1

Rumors spread, as always, that he was a stature Macine, which was a person whom worked for the King directly and rather astutely.
A Macine was a man, or woman, that worked for the benefit of their chosin kingdom. They were either assassins or warriors or spies or something of that sort... so to them Adrian fit the part rather well. He was astute and mysterious and it was no secret that he had killed before.2

It was a warm spring when, after several months without site of him, Adrian was walking threw town and stopped in the butchery, they all looked at him with their peculiar faces, all wanting to know what he had been doing for the last seven and a half months, but of course they did not ask because they were afraid he would bring forth the rest the Macines and kill them and their children as they slept, because that is surely what they had heard about the Macines, and of course that is surely what they did in true.3

They starred and finally, so they thought, he noticed and starred back, but he made no comment, he just peered for a moment and left with his small bundle of goods. when he left they all looked at each-other, all wondering the same thing, all wondering what he was up to and where he had been in the past and what he had done, because of course he was now a murderer and Assassin in their gossiping minds.4

Adrian walked out of the store and down the rode until he got to the stalls where his horse stood. he re-saddled her and fit the bridle to her mouth, he smiled lightly as she whinnied. "You can't be fussing now, we have a long road ahead of us." he said, but then the horse jerked up randomly, catching him off guard, the ears of his horse propped and her eyes wondered behind him, so he turned and standing there was Alasia, a woman he had known in his time here in this slow town. She was definitely agreeably, dark hair and gray eyes that faded to a seeping blue when she was sad or angry. which happened a lot when she was with Adrian because she was either sad that he would not stay with her or angry that he was being so difficult.5

"I thought you said you were staying?" she said and starred at him, he had no idea what to say to her, although he never quite did.6

"I told you I'd try, you know how it gets over there, they need a leader who is not going to leave every time his lover calls." he said and she frowned innocently, she began to walk over to him but stopped when she was about five feet away. she looked away from him and fiddled with her fingers on the side of the barn post.7

"Why don't you leave, if you are gone for good then they shall not have the right to call you back..." she paused and walked over to him, her hands lightly touching either side of his face. "Then the only person in all the world," she said in hardly a whisper, "that can summon you," she kissed him lightly on the side of his mouth, his eyes closed and he could not remember a better feel, "is me." she stopped and kissed him, he of course could not resist kissing her back.8

her smooth, thin fingers trailed across his shoulders and down his back until they rested on his hip, she pulled away and he instinctively followed, but she put her finger up to his lips and he staid where he was.9

"Do you promise, Adrian?" she asked and he backed away completely.10

"I can not do what you ask, I am their leader, there for it is my duty to lead them." he attempted to make his point, but she wouldn't have it.11

"And before you there was another leader, so after you there will be another and then another," she was getting angry with him and he watched as her eyes teared to blue, "you do not have to be a warrior forever, even the greatest of warriors fade." she said and stepped over so that she would stand in front of him. she pressed her thin body against his and she could feel his nervous body quiver and clinch. she laid her hand on his cheek again. "You are strong when it is not called for and never weak when the time calls for it..." she stopped and tears filled her eyes, "am I not good enough that you would not stop killing and bleeding to know that I am not?" she said and the tears were in her voice and her mind and her soul... and her heart and she knew his answer.12

"You are to perfect for me, and I am not good enough for you. I call for battle and blood and gore because I am not worth anything else, Alasia." he said finally, though the words had been running threw her mind all year. 13

Her eyes closed and he waited. "Should that not be my decision," she said as a tear ran down her cheek, "too decide what I think is a worthy love?" she said and he knew he could not lose her, not again.14

"Your father will hate me for this..." he said in a whisper and she looked up at him, confusion and happiness in her eyes.15

"What is it?" she asked in some what of a hasty tone. he waited.16

Adrian looked down at her and switch his weight from one foot to the other then he said it finally and realised it was not as hard as he thought it was going to be. "Come with me."

Author notes

This one I like because I did not make any farther background between Adrian and Alasia, so I think it was a good one, the wording is good, he story is good, hop you like.

'Freedom'

A contest entry

I am not very good with explaining love parts, So would like it if you told me how the affection crap was. most of the time I can write the blood... just not the love:P

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Reaver Greeters member
    May 27, 2008

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    Very Well Done:)

    I think you did the 'love parts' very well.  You seem to have a very good handle on description and emotional environment.  You have so grammar and structure flaws, but i won't harp  All i can say is very well done and when i have a moment, i will move on to your next  loved it!  durian~~


    • Asonine
      May 27, 2008
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      Thanks, yeah, I don't know if you read the authors note, but, I normally am soooo bad at the love parts... I am actually bad at showing affection now that I think about it...

      yeah I noticed some things in here a while ago, I just haven't had the time to edit.

      thanks

      Freedom


  • Swords of Ireland
    May 26, 2008

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    interresting... very interresting. normally I am not a love book person, but you wrote very nicely in this one.


  • IntrepidFantasy Greeters member
    May 3, 2008

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    Ohhh interesting story and I will certainly go read the second part as well. I love that name Alasia it is so pretty. The descriptions you used are amazing and I can't wait to learn some more about these characters of yours!
    ~Joann

    • Asonine
      May 3, 2008
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      Thank you! I don't know if you read, but I am not very good with writing about love, so i am just extatic that you liked it!

      thank you.

      Freedom.


  • mharrington05
    May 2, 2008

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    Very good and descriptive narrative, i thought the love parts were well put forward as you could sense some history and strong feeling between the two characters. Will be looking with interest for part 2 as i felt some issues need resolving such as who are the Macines? And who is Adrian the leader of? As it seemed to me that he wasn't in fact the leader of the village. Of course you may well address these facts later, it's just a problem with releasing a story in parts as i cannot read on until you are ready. Again well done apart from a few spelling mistakes a very good read.

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 3, dialog: 5, characters: 4.


  • Rosemary silver member
    May 2, 2008

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    Interesting plot

    I was a little confused, because in the first part the town hated him and in the second part he was their leader. Keep writing.

    • Asonine
      May 2, 2008
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      Nine, it says that they are curious of him, that obviously they do not trust him as much as they trust others, but there is no plural hate there.

      And it says that he is one of the warrior leaders of te Macines', not the village... the Macines... so Aye,

      thank you for the comment.

      Don't know if you would take pleasure in reading, butI have the second part out.


  • Starlight-Kisses
    May 1, 2008

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    very Itresting i can't tell which option you chose but there is a little of both so i won't complain it kept me reading but you forgot one of my rules your favorite animal in your author notes I'll read it again later

1 - 9 of 9