The Wind in the Trees

I stand on the end of the bridge and cast my green eyes down to the plummeting drop beneath me. At the bottom, there was water, thrashing against the side of the cliff. Each time the waves touch the cliff, I get much more frightened, and I begin to question myself. 1

Should I jump? Fall, by accident? Should I let the murky water fill my lungs, and suffocate my body? Is it worth my pointless life to feel the wonderful sensation of dropping - being free?2

I looked out onto the horizon. A few months ago, I was laughing and talking with him, then I had to say goodbye. He was heading for adventures unknown, a world on the sea. He said he would come back for me. He held me in his arms and I gripped tightly, not wanting to let go. I began to cry and he whipped away my tears.3

"Baby, don't cry," he said in an effort to comfort me. I cried harder and he held me tighter.4

"Baby, I'll be fine. I'll come back. I always do. You know that. But I want to do this. I'll be able to afford to buy you a ring and ask you to marry me. I'll be able to build our dream home."5

I began to think of us together. How happy we would be. He had been my sweetheart for a year and a half. We both liked to think about marriage, but I always thought he was just saying that. I looked into his hazel eyes.6

"Are you serious? Do you really mean it?"7

"Yes. Whenever I think about marriage, I think about you. I can't imagine anyone I'd rather be with. I already have an idea about how to ask you. I just need the money for a ring."8

I stopped crying by now. Just thinking us together cheered me up. 9

"We will be happy I promise," he had said.10

So I let him go. 11

I missed him a lot, but I always knew he would come back.12

Until I got that phone call.13

His mother had called me in tears about a letter she had received. The ship had sank and he was missing-in-action.14

So here I stand, contemplating on what I should do. If he was dead, I would never know. I should just plummet into the ocean and join him, if that was the case.15

What if I spend my whole life waiting for him to come back? I would never know that he was dead and I would be waiting for nothing.16

But if he was alive and came back for me, he would be heart broken to find that his girlfriend had killed herself over him. What would be worse is if I found another while he was gone. Who knows what he would do.17

"Lord," I prayed as I looked toward the spot where I last saw the ship, "Give me some sort of answer. Direct me in what you want me to do. I know you don't want me to do this. You have a plan for me, so push me in the right direction."18

The wind began to blow and teased my hair and cooled my tear-stained face.19

"Step back," it seemed to say.20

All at once I felt an overwhelming peace. I had no more worries and no reason to be drastic. I stepped back from the bridge and closed my eyes. 21

"Everything will be alright," the trees rustled, "I do have a plan, but it will work out in my time. You will understand." 22

I smiled at that reassurance. The wind blew against my face, like a father's hands caress a child's face.23

"Now, go home and wait for me."24

I turned and walked back home.