Like conspirators on a bus, we sat. I waspish and he a late 20's Asian; like a bad late night movie. 1
His head leaned slightly towards me as though he was getting sleepy but in a lack of mouth movement whisper he said, "decrackified material."2
Immediately I thought back to my years as a a radio operator; top-secret clearance (higher actually) and I nodded carefully without moving my head. Then the words he spoke sank in and I stared ahead at the guy across, eyes closed reading his paper. 3
In my mind I said, "What?". 4
Like he had heard my thoughts, he shifted his eyes barely to the left indicating the two young girls sitting four rows up to our right. 5
"Decrackified material, wait for it." 6
Tilting my head to the right as if napping I watched through half open eyes, awaiting enlightenment. Bing......the bus indicated a request for next stop and his leg began twitching like a sad lonely dog. As the bus rolled to a stop the two girls stood up, their already tight clothes snugged even tighter between their youthful cheeks. Bending slightly to intensify the view they tugged at the material around their youthful thighs and pulled the material back into place, decrackified. 7
Unaware of the bus full of wide awake men they departed.8
Ah, decrackified material.9
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
This was a little too weird for me. I will admit that I wasn't expecting this sort of story. It was defenitely interesting.
-
Good grief!
Write at least one of these a week, I need the laugh. Just loved the guy reading the paper with his eyes closed, a classic. Nice work going from "top secret clearance" to the actualy meaning. Thanks for the read.
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
-
This was so funny. I almost feel bad for the girls.
"Eyes closed reading his paper..." Wha? How could he have his eyes closed and still be reading his paper?
And also, the "What?" in his mind was a little confusing.
But believe me... The story is funny...
*dies laughing*
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
-
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Not what I expected, but completely better! I'll never be able to sit on the bus again without thinking about this.
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, characters: 3.
-
Like conspirators on a bus, we sat.
I waspish and he a late 20's Asian;
like a bad late night movie.
Very funny.
talia -
wonderful
Absolutely loved this. Very funny and yet with a ring of truth. This has the real feel of a story created just to drop the pun at the end.
Well written.
thanks,
Talia -
This was very entertaining as well as very well written. Taking a brief experience and turning it into something intriguing to read takes a lot of skill. Great job.
-
True story or not that is hilarious.
Be well;
Zaffen -
Okay, this has to be a true story. You just can't come up with something like this off the top of your head. Truth is stranger, and sometimes funnier than fiction. Great read. Thanks.
-
LOL Where does something like this come from? This is too funny! Excellent job! Hugs, Patricia
-
LOL!! How the heck did you ever manage to have this pop into your head???
Perfect, I think -- both in originality and delivery. Well, well done! -
this is hilarious in so many ways. I have been witness to this sort of thing walking behind my wife in a mall or down the front street in Nashville. I would stay far enough behind to look like another observer and the heads bent and smile appeared and looks like they were heaven sent crossed their faces. My wife never noticed since she was shopping and never thought about such things anyway.
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
