I was lying there staring at the starry blackness above me. What am I doing here? I’ve made a terrible mistake. I knew it would happen, I knew that they would tire of me at some point. But this, it seems so extreme. After all, I am there mother, I may not be the best one there is, but at least I was there, watching them. I could feel the damp grass underneath me, I tried to move but my head was wrecked, it felt impossible. Where was I?1
I just didn’t know, my eyes were open but it felt like I was blinded. I reached my hands out and grasped at whatever I could, I felt something, it was bottle shaped, then it hit me. My prediction had come true, how predictable I am, it was alcohol, it must have been.2
Something was telling me that I had been abandoned, I just had that feeling. Had I run away, to save them from the continuous sight of desperation and despair, madness and mayhem, lack of life and love.3
I finally got up, my head was spinning around, but I was too distracted to take notice. Then something hit me, it was fine, I had let my family go. Maybe I had chosen to do this, so that I could start over, mess up the lives of others. 4
Then I could see again, what I saw devastated me, in front of me stood my home. Inside I saw my kids, my husband, my life, I sighed. I felt a tear rolls down my cheek, I still had them imprisoned.5
Author notes
For contest. Something I just wrote when I saw the contest.
A contest entry
- Write a story using this prompt by potaytee.
100 points, ended May 11, 2008, 7 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please comment and be truthful!
Comments
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That was so good. In line 3 'there' should be 'their'. It is very good. I can't wait to read more of your work.
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This was a well written piece in which the real emotion comes out. The language was effective and allowed for empathy with the character. It broadcasts a powerful message on the subject of addiction and how it takes everything from you. Superb.
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Dude this is sooo sad!
I mean I hope that you win the contest with this because it was beautifully written but jeeze, how could anyone do that to the woman that suffered so much to bring them to life? The vocabulary choice made the piece flow smoothly and the story line was definatly emotionally traumatizing for the poor mother... Nice job! Im really sensitive about these things and it brough tears to my eyes to read that she had lost her family... This was amazing and it left a strong impression in my mind
:b
Xx=Ann@=xX
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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