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Time: 10:47AM, 12/6/27
Location: Oakvale Police Station, Oakvale
State: Sitting
---1
Another day as a junior detective. The bindi bust is finally over, with Jeremy L. Hedgehog locked away for weed smuggling. Even as I sit here, eating my double-decker apple crumble, I know that the hardened criminals are out there, just waiting to be busted with all the other wannabe's who think they can handle the crime. They never learn, do they? When Perry is on the case, you're bound to lose.2
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Time: 4:26PM, 12/6/27
Location: Daffodil St. Crossing, Oakvale
State: Driving
---3
As I finish my shift at OPS, the warm atmosphere that the outside afternoon brings fills my soul with bliss and relaxation. I love this time of the day, only about half an hour before peak traffic. Something catches my eye just to the left of my Subaru Forester. I stop the car and walk cautiously to the mysterious object that shines so brightly. A pump of adrenaline surges through me as I take hold of the object, and I see just a couple of metres away a dead weasel, known by the name of Wayne. I recognised him; he was the one who raided the police station just two days ago. Somehow I knew that this object had one purpose, to maim and murder. I put it in my trunk and drive home to investigate further.4
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Time: 10:56PM, 12/6/27
Location: 37 Bark Lne., Redbank Hills
State: Tired
---5
Using my forensic investigation equipment I found traces of bear and weasel DNA in the form of blood. Obviously this object is a weapon of some sort. I don't know why but this weapon has an adrenaline-like feel to it, like it wants you to become a killer, or something along those lines. I can't quite put my flipper on it. I might get some rest so I car~~~~~~~~~~6
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Time: 8:17AM, 13/6/27
Location: 37 Bark Lne., Redbank Hills
State: Awakened
---7
Hmm, must have fallen asleep, but how did I get in my bed? I swear I fell asleep on my desk. And why is the weapon right next to me? I walk down to the loungeroom and fix myself some apple crumble while watching the morning news. I suddenly see something that makes me shiver. '32 animals were found dead scattered around Redbank Hills this morning. They seem to have been slashed with a sharp object, possibly the work of a leopard--' It was then that I realised that I was the killer. But why would I do something like this? I'm a detective in the Oakvale Police Department! It must have been the weapon. I knew there was something mysterious about it. It must be disposed of.8
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Time: 10:58AM, 13/6/27
Location: Oakvale Trash Disposal Factory, Oakvale
State: Rushed
---9
Here I am in front of the giant compacting machine, ready to dispose of the weapon that caused me to kill over 30 animals against my will. Yet, I can't, like I am now drawn to this object as though it is my most prized possession. No. I refuse to believe that I am being controlled by this, this, this THING! I will myself to throw the object in the compactor, but the object refuses to leave my hand. If it won't leave me, I'll have to dispose of it attached to it. Long live the platypus legacy. Goodbye.10
---11
The next day, in the daily newspaper...12
PERRY P. PLATYPUS COMMITS SUICIDE
RELATIVES STILL UNSURE ABOUT REASON
Author notes
Is the 'shiny thing' really disposed of? Find out next time...
(contest note)
Die Hard 4.0. Sickest crap I've ever seen.
In a list
A contest entry
- *Cue James Bond theme* by DoozerDan.
600 points, ended June 25, 2008, 4 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please critique.
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I love your animal storys! I like how you made this one so serious! lol keep it up! I hope you finish soon!
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RT, RT, RT, *shakes head* you didn't read all the rule to clearly did you? I dun wanna DQ you, but I do stick to my own rules, so please read them, and make sure oyu got everything
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This is another amazing addition to your animal stories
I love reading them! I loved the investigative touch that you added to this one! Great job on it.
~Joann
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Loved it
I felt I was part of an investigative case first hand. great story Regaltheft. Someone needs to control the shiny thing before it really gets out of hand.beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Poor Perry.
p2 hardened criminals p4 that shines so brightly. drove home
Well, this shiny thing is mysterious. Did Perry dispose of it? It causes animals to go nuts and kill everybody. It caused poor Perry to kill himself. There was blood instead of tomato sauce this time. There are a lot of different kind of animals to choose from. Will the shiny thing appear again?
Actually, I think you can come up with something more creative. I guess the part with Perry is probably the best part in the series.
Andy
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this is really well written RT. Not annoying at all. ^_^ Keep penning. I would like to know what made you give him the triple P name. lol. that's intriguing to me.
Ice
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Well, the word 'psycho' was already part of the animal series (see Bernie and Wayne), and the platypus got the most votes on my second one (Wayne). That answer your question?
--RT -
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Thanks for clarifying. ^_^
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ok not to bad but it is not ur best
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Well It's not very funny. But let's see how this turn out.
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BORING
REALLY YOU THINK THAT THIS IS THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO, MATE -
Ooooooo Me likes. Hehe "State: Sitting" Can't wait for the rest.
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