Punch

1

I scored an amazing goal today in P.E.! And Cody was so impressed, that he actually gave me a high five!2

God, I reached a new low. Getting excited about him giving me a high five, honestly, especially when we're on the same soccer team, and I scored a goal. But in the whole two weeks, I have scored lots of goals, and he never once gave me a high five before!3

I wrote in my diary in the last hour of the day, then it would be time to go to track. I read my other entry, from my study hall class. Today, we'd been given a free period.4

I tried to write one of my stories, a few minutes ago. But I couldn't concentrate, Cody was in too close of a proximity. He was playing scrabble at the desk in front of me. He usually doesn't sit there, he sits acrossed the room, the only way I can really think is if he's not so close when I am trying to be creative. Or really think. I can barely write as it is. Oh sweet, caring, loving, God, please let this just be a crush! I don't want to fall in love with someone, who could never love a nerd like me, even a nerd with as good soccer skills.5

I never accounted for getting these feelings for him, not even when he joined my soccer team in P.E., I just thought I'd have sportsmanship, and maybe a new friendship, from us both being skilled players. And then, I had these protective feelings for him. I thought it was because he was on my team, I didn't want someone who could help bring us to victory injured. And then, he kept creeping into my thoughts. And it wouldn't stop, his presence was there constantly. And I faced the truth. I had a major crush on him. At one point, what really made me realize it, was I was looking at him more. And how I was jealous when I saw him walking with his girlfriend- who I hadn't known was his girlfriend until then. And then, I just, realized it, because something made me check in the year book, seeing if she was his sister, but she wasn't.6

I heard the bell ring, and I put up my journal, and zipped my backpack, and put up my proctor badge. I walked to the gym slowly, and changed my clothes as soon as I got to my locker. When I was finished, I walked into the gym. And the curtain was being pulled up, and as that happened, I saw too people, necking where I usually waited for my friends to be finished.7

I recognized that green and brown jacket anywhere! It was Cody and Hilary! I felt as if someone had just struck a blow to my gut, and before I could fully comprehend what was going on, other than I didn't want them to see my expression, especially Hilary, who was sort of facing me, I abruptly turned on my heel, and back into the locker room.8

I'd known they were boyfriend and girlfriend, and I should have presumed that they'd kissed before, but I didn't want to see it! And then, I thought, What if they'd done it?9

And then, I tried to talk to Eli, my best friend, but she didn't talk at all. She didn't know about my crush on Cody, and I didn't plan on filling her in.She helped not at all. She didn't know how I was trying to distract my mind, and keep the scence out of it. But it kept on playing and replaying, and it wouldn't stop. It just wouldn't. It wouldn't!10