Holding onto our love

 
http://www.happilymarriedwomen.com/images/595546_270x180.jpg 
The more I fall in love
The deeper I want to touch
Dreams come alive
Holding onto our love

In a list

Honesty

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1 - 6 of 6

  • CeliaBby
    June 1

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    It sounds a bit like a repition. Love in the bgeinning and love in the end. Like theres nothing that can go between your guyses love. : really cute and exotic picture .. lmfao.


  • Bello.Midnight
    September 23, 2008

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    ♣

    TO PUT IT SIMPLY.
    I do agree with Herm.
    The last line felt a little shaken and out of place. Yet at the same time I did find this poem to hold such beauty.. such sensuality and love and the picture was the icing on the cake

    ♣


  • Hermanator1 silver member
    April 18, 2008
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    Not quite

    The first three were excellent statements of love but the last line did not complete the thought...at least not as written. Maybe something like; 'as I embrace our love.' then it is tied to the previous line. As it is, it is a stand alone thought which makes the third incomplete.
    well done otherwise.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 3, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • DarkOneShadow
    April 18, 2008
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    Nice and short!

    The feeling is powerful and yet simply put... wonderfully done.

    DarkOne

  • V l
    April 18, 2008
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    Short sweat real raw and wonderful


  • Mr Typo
    April 18, 2008
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    Short, Sweet, and Beautiful!

1 - 6 of 6