Trotting in silence
On a lonely trail,
Lost in a strange world,
So young, so frail.1
His calls unheard,
His tracks unseen.
Who would care to wonder
Where this young cub had been?2
With the moon as his guide
He held his head high,
He would not give up,
He would not cry. 3
Ears yearn for a familiar sound
But not a howl in the air
The silence frightens him,
Men are everywhere. 4
His stomach growling with hunger,
But that he shall endure
His pack is somewhere out there
They’re waiting for his return, he's sure.5
He calls into the wind again and again,
But there is still no reply.
Where is everyone? Why don’t they come?
If he loses hope, he’ll surely die.6
Why do men dislike his kind?
What right do they have to kill?
Though his spirit is already weak,
He continues his journey with will. 7
Trotting in silence
On a lonely trail,
Lost in a strange world,
So young, so frail.
Author notes
It didn't take long and now that i look at it, the picture i wanted my readers to have was not there... *sigh* i need more practice =='
A contest entry
- Wolf poems! by HaXXoR.
350 points, ended June 2, 2008, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Deep Waters by InksterMoxy.
475 points, ended January 19, 37 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Is it ok?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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101
it was cool. poor wolfie. I love wolf cubs. they're just so cute! *squeals* ok now that i've 
myself the critique. Me likely. it was well thought through. If you plan to revise this i would focus more on how the cub feels being isolated. You kinda went on a tangent with humans. Which was fine, but i felt it took away from the rest of the poem. but good job!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I really enjoyed it. I especially loved how you connected the ending with the first stanza by repeating it.
Excellent.beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 2, ending: 5, characters: 5.
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This is beautiful, but sad. The flow of your words was wonderful as well, nice imagry.
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geez..omg.. beautiful sad but stunningly beautiful.. loved this one to pieces.. amazing job.. great choice of words. perfect language. and a good meaning.
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Ha ha, you will always get better. even I need practices too. But i am so busy with my own damn weird life.
Anyways, I like the setting you established on the poem. Very calm. And clear. I like it!
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Such a sweet poem
It is very beautifully written. I wish you good luck in the contest that you have written this for!
~Joann
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Well done!
Contest writes are good as prompts, I guess, when you need inspiration or something whets your writing appetite...
I see this a more than a wolf cub write, rather a wider statement about going out into the world, alone, separated from all the familiar things that made up an existence before that is no more.
Welcome to the site, good luck in the contest, thank you for the visit and the comment...and just how good are you at art? I have a children's book that needs an illustrator.
regards....
Amicus...
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Hmm... thanks for the advice but i thought the name of the contest told the reader clearly what it was..=)
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Very good, nice job. It would have been nice to have a happy ending but the repetition was nice there. My only suggestion is that it wasn't clear from the get go that this was a wolf (I didn't know it was for a contest) and I was picturing a bear cub until you mentioned that it was looking for its pack. It would have been nice to have something in the very beginning to clue the reader in as to what kind of animal it was.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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