Survivor

Open windows and wind flowing inside… Love is nothing to die for; the only reason someone should die is because of being alone… We only can survive but that what connects us all together; bonds. Friendships, family, and other such bonds, that is what kept me alive. Truly, if I didn’t have that I would be died by now. Nothing is worst then to listen to yourself all the time! You just go over the same things, same questions, and same opinion. Nothing is duller then to have no one there to talk to… Stranded on an island all-alone, how insane will you become with only yourself to talk to? Just how far is this limit to where you have nothing left to hold life together with, how long before you kill yourself? Ask yourself that and you will never know that answer, until you are in the place, all-alone; nothing is worse. 1

People die over the simplest of things and it makes me wonder why? Is it for their faith, power, or just self-pity? This kind of things happen everyday and it makes me wonder. Old people don’t want to die; they want eternal life and such stupid things. When we cut our bonds, we have nothing left of ourselves and can die without regard because we know there is nothing to live for. Yet, other people die for such other unwise reasons that make me wonder… What do you think?2

I was thinking about drunk driving. How most of the time it will kill the drunken person and kill the innocence. Why is that? Is it because God has shamed that person who was drunk and what’s to make other innocent people be punished? Of course, I was never one to believe that God was real, but that is for another time to discuss. Why does our society still think that drinking alcohol is still good for our economy? Yes, it brings in a lot of money, but maybe slow if we stop selling alcohol, then no one will die from a drunk driver. That is all I have to say for now, but don’t you think drunk driving is wrong?3

There are many things in this world that are hard to explain and what truly is that about? We find our answers in science and we give them names, but the strange thing is that we DO name them. How did we make languages and writing? We all understand the language and in each different country, we have a new language and then we can translate it into our language. How is that impossible? How do we explain that? We are all so different, and we have come so far together, but are still FAR apart… How do we explain that?4

Some say that love is one of the slowest suicides, but is that true? Love, not really being “lovely”, kills us slowly with wanting love. However, when we do have love, does it kill us? I don’t think so, nevertheless, when our loved one dies, we kill ourselves with suicide because we loved them and want them back. So is love truly a slow suicide? That may never be answered, but my love will be my suicide. I know that! It may be a sad thing, but I will be loved and missed when I die then.5

Dreams… Our lives in fantasy as we lie asleep…6

It seems to me that nothing is straightforward. It will always have a second meaning or something. I can type one thing and it can mean another. Yet, we always know which mean we are focusing on. Like the word “read,” it can have two meaning, but even if they are similar, we can still find the meaning that was meant in just seconds without thinking about it. I find that weird, but that is just me and that is all I have to say in the manner.7

I was asked yesterday if I believed in second chances, my first answer was that it depended on the situation. However, as I thought about it in my shower, it seemed that no one should get a second chance. We all die at some point, so what’s the point of a second chance in life? Or in a relationship: people will make the same mistake and if their partner gives them another chance, I don’t really think of it as a second chance. That ‘second’ chance won’t be like the last one, but a new chance with the person knowing more about the other. That is what I was thinking about when I took my nightly shower, how odd. Nevertheless, second chances are never real. 8

Music releases the soul in many ways. It lets your angry, sadness, and happiness out in the world, which no one but you understands. The music fills your chests with all the emotions and then lets it out though your voice or ears. However, music can also feel us with those emotions, too. Sometimes that can be good or bad, it can affect your whole day, waking up to a song you hate or one you like. Music is for our souls and is the only medicine to heal it, isn’t that wonderful? I think it is. 9

The world is always tilled and we as humans always make mistakes, why are they the same? Nothing is, as it seems in the world we are all mistakes. That is what I believe, but why are we mistakes? Is it because of God? I don’t know that answer, but when I need something to blame, he is it. And that can help, even if I don’t believe in him. Blaming someone can always help me to get over my problems, but it can hurt you and the person you blame… God is easy to blame, just go with it. That is what I do.10

Things seem to be very confusing right now with not knowing why I want love, but don’t at the same time. I believe it is my two personalities, they that hate each other and are opposites, like ying and yang. I can write much more thinking that one will get in the way of the other. One is always depressed and wants to die and the other is happy-go-lucky and gets mad easily. Both have good points and bad points. I can’t believe that I have as many friends as I do… I want to say sorry to every one of them and be better, but I can’t. It’s too weird…11