hit me again...3

"Stop it, your turning me on."
He turned away.
"Trent...you really came over cuz you were worried?"
A smile broke across his face as he heard my cute little voice.
"Yeah, you were my rommie for 4 years. I still worry about you, i mean i've always had to look out for you, just cuz your gay, doesn't mean i'll stop."
I pulled a blanket over my crotch and he turned to me. I rolled over on my stomach, so that Trent could have a small piece of evidence. On my back were a series of bruises the ones on my shoulders the worst. He softly touched them with his fingers making my shoulders flinch.
Why are you letting him do this to you?"
Rage went through as i sat up facing him. I yelled...
"you think i let him do it!? Fuck you! I called you 100 times, you don't care the only reason your here is to see if it was true! You come over here and hold me against you, strip me down, and now your pittying me-"
Tears slid down my cheeks and i couldn't focus on him.
"-well fuck you!"
Trent looked at me with hurt green eye's and then he was also angry.
"No! You tried that already, i'm sorry your a fag! But personally i think you deserve every bit of it, see Mathew this is what happens when your stuborn and head strong!!!"
"Your right so just leave..."
Trent looked at me again, worried.
"Matty, i'm sorry-""Please just leave!"
He nibbled on his lower lip ring and walked away. When the door closed i couldn't hold back. I threw myself into the pillow and cried, punching myself in my sides, why'd i let him see me cry...i scream into my pillow and got light headed. I pulled my hand up to eyelevel, i was shaking.
"I need to eat something." I'm diabetic, and i need to eat something and put my needle back in...ugh...i'm tired again.
I got up and dug through all the clothes on the floor, finding a pair of Shane's partially shredded baggy jeans, and a band tee. I pulled the pants on, they were soft from being over-worn. I walked out of his room and down the stairs to the kitchen. I pulled out my needle pump and a cereal bar. I pulled my pants down enough to expose enough of my right butt-cheek, i pulled the needle out of the pump and stuck myself, not even flintching. I then uncoiled the small tube and pushed a few buttons then put it in my pocket...it's programmed to shoot me up about every 3 hours. I pulled my pants up and put the shirt on. I can't believe he yelled at me...
*********************1

"911 yea my boyfriend, he collapsed, i don't know what happened, he's still breathing."
He ran over to me after hanging up, his voice calm and un-urgent. He put his fingers to my neck checking my pulse, i was fading.
"K Mathew, Mathew do you know where you are?"
IA nurse hovered over me shining a light in my eyes, i followed it as it moved back and forth.
"Mathew?"
"I'm in the hostpital."
"How old are you?"
"21"
"Good. Good"
She repeated as she wrote down my answers.
"How are you feeling?"
"Tired, like i slept all night, but just ran a marathon, my body aches."
"Alright, here's a morphine clicker, when you fell you broke your arm. Severely.-"
Her voice trailed off as i remembered...i didn't fall...Shane, and i...were argueing...he pushed me...down the stairs, he did this to me...tears welled in my eye's and i looked panickly for his face.
"-I know diabetes is scary but there's no need to cry."
What! Diabetes!"
********************
I put my shoes on and looked at my purple cast, still there. i wiggled my fingers and opened the door with my right hand. It was hot outside, but humidly hot even for Florida, this must be a record day. I got to my car and my phone rang. The screen read "Shane"...
"O hey baby."
"Yeah, hi babe, where you goin?"
"What? you can see me?"
"No but i can track you, GPS, honey"
"O. yeah Helio...forgot."
And that's why he bought me this phone.
"So where are you going?"
"I dn't know why do you ask, no matter what i say you'll still 'track' me"
"Aw baby don't be hurt by it, just think of it as my love for you...i want to know where you are to make sure your safe."
"Yeah, cuz you wouldn't ever want anything hurtful to happend to me?"
"Exactly baby well i gotta go, i'll be watching."
"Yea love you."
Fucking asshole! I kicked my tire and got in my car. I drove to the store. Shane leaves 300 dollars here in an account to buy food. He doesn't give me money, in case i try to leave him. I walked down the aisles picking up random things that Shane liked and my cereal bars, that's the only thing i like that i can have. Got a text message...from Shane.
hey babe, while your there
get me a pepsi meet me at
the house.
I sighed and checked out. Drove to the house and he was sitting on the balcony.
"Hey baby, will you come help me bring stuff in?"
"yeah, i'm comming."
When we were outside or in public he was great to me...He came out the front door and walked into me placing his hands on my hips and kissing me genuinly on my lips.
"I missed you this morning...did anyone come over while i was gone?"
I pulled away, he knew. I can't lie...
"Um...yeah Trent came over, he brought me my homework."
"Yeah he left me a message..."
He opened his phone pushed some buttons and put it to my ear. "Hey Asshole, i fucking swear if you ever touch him again i'll turn you in!"
My heart dropped and liquified, then slipped through the cracks in the side walk. He grabbed my wrists and squeezed, looking into my eyes and came an inch from my face. through gritted teeth said.
"Get this shit in the house and get up stairs, clean the room it's a fucking mess."
I nodded shakily, he let me go and took half the stuff inside. I grabbed the case and my cereal bars and locked my car. I went inside and set everything down on the counter. Shane grabbed me from behind, covering my mouth.
"So what, you called Trent and told him i beat you up,?"
Tears fell off my cheeks as i shook my head. He turned me around and reached into my pants, pinching the skin around my needle. I scream into his hand. Blood seeped through my pants. He let me go and i fell to the floor.
"Get up, you pathetic little bitch!"
I stared at the ground and he kicked my in my side, i fell again completely. He grabbed me up and threw me into the counter, i scream and he smacked me. I slid down the counter and puddled around his feet.
"Jesus, why do i stay with you, hmmm, i don't know just something about you."
I whined and started shaking. He knelt down and put his arms under mine, slowly lifting me to a standing position. I leaned against the counter, still unable to look at him. He touched my face where a deep bruise was forming on my left cheek bone.
"It was an accident, i walked into the door as someone opened it."
"K, jeez baby you gotta be more careful."
I smiled shyly. He pulled me against him tightly,
"hmm, i love you so much matt, seriously clean the room. K?"
He looked into my eyes searching for a response. I nodded.
"I think your forgetting a small phrase."
"O...i love you to Shane...are you gonna be here for dinner?"
"No, i wont get back till late, so go to bed, and don't forget to eat something."
I nodded as he turned and walked out the door. I tried to gather myself but failed. I sunk to the floor in tears and short breathes i couldn't make myself stop shaking, why can't i just walk away from him...why do i stay, like this??? Trent what am doing, why do i punish myself for not having you instead...