I sat staring at the horrible block of junk sitting on the rickety table next to the computer. Swinging slightly in my computer chair, and yelled out:
"Mum! The bloody printer's jammed again!" 1
A soft pattering of feet from behind me calmed me a little, but still my frustration leaked out of my expressionless face. 2
"What? Sorry, all I caught was 'Mum'." Mum put her hand on my shoulder. "What's the matter?"3
I repeated: "Mum! The bloody printer's jammed again!" yelling it in her face. 4
"Oh dear. We are in a mood today, aren't we?" 5
I sighed, and then frowned at her. "We meaning you and me? Um, no. Just fix the printer! I've got an essay due tomorrow!" I screamed.
Then mum sighed, and spun me around to face her. 6
"Now listen up! You do NOT yell at me with your back turned to me. Now what is the problem?"7
"I'm sorry Mum." I said bluntly, not being sorry at all. "The printer is broken."8
"Now why would the printer be broken?" She seriously looked so confused. So I told her the truth. 9
"Well, me and it. We had a little incident."10
"How so?"11
"Well, it was just sitting there, and then I got angry when it said it was out of ink."12
"And?" mum pushed.13
I shot up furiously and yelled: "and so I wacked it, okay?"14
"Tasha! This is the third printer that you've broken! That's it! I'm not buying any more printers!"15
My body instantly went into shock, and my face showed it.
"B..b..but mum..." I stammered. 16
"But what?" she replied, still looking mad. 17
"I kinda need the printer... for my essay see... Look... I'm sorry okay! I really am! Can you please fix it?" I fluttered my eyelashes, making my eyes big and round. But she didn't buy it. 18
"Well I guess you're just going to have to write it out by hand, like everyone else!"
Author notes
Richard Laymon is the author of: To Wake the Dead, Bite, One Rainy night, and more. I really like his books!
Jack Ketchum is a horror writer. ☺
Hope you like the story! It's kinda wacky... ☺
A contest entry
- Flash Fiction Festival by SignifyingNothing.
170 points, ended April 23, 2008, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Hi!! ☺ Would love feedback!! ☺
Comments
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Smile. I can definitely relate to printer annoyance. Right now my printer is telling me its our of ink, even after I put in the cartridge! It's a monster. I think its evil. :-)
This was funny and easy to relate to. I enjoyed it, and thanks for entering! -
Who would assume that such a trivial event - the printer breaking - would have such a tale behind it? You used some great descriptive adjectives in the opening paragraphs. I can picture myself at my own desk, swinging a baseball bat at office equpiment a la Office Space.
Paragraph six - "Just fix the printwer!" You should probably fix that typo.
I know how you feel about an essay being due while experiencing technological strife. It's happened to me on several occasions. I can completely understand why you kicked the printer's ass.
I know that you're a girl, but the "B..b..but mum..." really reminded me of Cartman from South Park when he whines and begs to get whatever he needs. He uses his mom for personal benefit, and I see a bit of that here. If you were purposely alluding to the show, good for you; if not, it just shows that you enabled your readers to make a good text-to-TV reference.
Keep up the good work.
-Keasbey
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Excellent! I love south park! Glad you picked that up! That was exactly the thing I was going for! ☺ Hehe!
Thanks for the "Printwer" tip. Will fix that right now!
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