Beyond the Possible (Program Essay #1)

The acceptance of what I've come to be was both reluctant and resistant. I did not want believe that I couldn't manage the trials and difficulties that life had placed upon me without faltering. I had turned to a detrimental drug use that only enhanced the pain that was already apparent. Steadily it carried me further into a realm of existence I neither wanted nor could escape. I desperately fought to break myself free of the chains I had so willingly set in place. But still I could not break the bonds that had rooted themselves so deeply into my very being. I had become powerless and defeated by this terrible drug. My family did not understand, trouble found me concerning the law, relationships withered and deteriated, and I was left to pick up pieces that still remained. With nothing left, I accepted the help of one who had already take the spiritual steps to recovery. Through him and the fellowship that I have now become a part of, I feel that there is hope ahead and a life that still worth fighting for.1

Let me start off by saying that I've always been a spiritual man, religious to me more exact. I believe there is a God or higher power out there that watches over us and gives meaning to all that we do. In retrospect I admit that my belief was strong, but I did little to practice my faith and apply it as I should to all my dealings in life. Through the program I have begun to rekindle that lost connection with my God. He is there, he's always been there. I had just failed to listen and keep myself open to his gentle grace. But now that has all changed. Through this bottom I have met a new life; a second chance and a fresh start. With his help I will overcome this detrimental addiction, and move forward to become someone I though I could never achieve. This the beginning of the rest of my life, and I will make something of it that I beyond what I dreamed possible.2