[Tryad/"Breathe"]

I woke up and turned my head towards the door, away from the professor and her useless PowerPoint. I looked down at my notebook; it was stained with drool and tears. Had I cried myself to sleep, in public no less? My face flushed in humiliation. There are only fifteen minutes left and I only have half a page of notes, maybe not even half--a third or a quarter. I sighed; I'd borrow the notes from Stephanie if I gave her a good reason to do so.1

Political Science was one of the hardest classes to have so far. I needed it though--I was considering law as my major. My college advisor told me I should take it, and that I could visit her whenever I needed to talk. Well, I need to now...2

I gathered my stuff up and the professor stopped. "Going somewhere, Stacey?"3

Now I had to stop. "Advisor's office. I need to speak with someone."4

"Can you stay a bit longer, dear? I want for you to get this."5

I nodded and retook my seat. She continued on as though nothing happened. I stood again with whispers of "Stacey!" behind me.6

~7

When I got into the carpeted hallway, I immediately turned right and my thoughts began to wander, particularly towards my boyfriend. I smiled a little, but I was still messed up. I pulled out my iPod, turned to "Breathe" by Tryad and began to feel the first few tears cloud up my vision. I continued walking. There was nothing else to do...and nowhere else to go but out.8

"Hey." I heard someone call out from above my headphones. I didn't turn around for the person; it wasn't worth the energy. I started running now. I ran into the dormitories and plunged my hand in my purse searching for my key. I found it and shoved it into the lock, praying that I could just get in and out. I turned the lock and bolted in, dropping my stuff on my side on the room before running back out, my vision somewhat restored.9

"You okay, Stacey?"10

I turned at the mention of my name.11

"I've had better days," I said, slowly coming back to reality.12

"Has something happened?"13

I nodded, ready to cry again.14

"Will you tell me?"15

"I can't." My voice broke a little. You could see the cracks in the glass.16

He came closer and I stepped back17

"What happened, Stacey?" I was shocked now. Why did he care? Why should he care? I ran back the other way. I wanted to die. The feeling threatened to overpower me, try as I might to suppress it. It just wouldn't stay.18

People didn't need or want me. No one respects me. The thoughts whirled in my head. They were true--the words, I mean. I lived only for my boyfriend these days, and that was getting hard. I saw the drugstore across the way. I counted the money I had in my change purse--$17.15. The pennies didn't mean much to me these days, but I keep them all the same. 19

I walked to the drugstore--a CVS--and waited for a representative behind a lady who was taking longer than most people do. I sighed. I just needed a T-Mobile refill card. I almost cried--again. I couldn't live like this. Hell, I couldn't live at all.

Author notes

I actually do have these feelings. The only thing I haven't done is walk out of class. I used up over a week's worth of lunch money to buy a phone card.

I am indeed crazy.

Mary Jo walked out the the classroom with Aden's orange notebook and lime highlighter.

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • toolenduso
    May 27

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    Good story. I can certainly relate to feelings like that. It was well-written, and didn't try too hard.

    However, I feel the story could have used some more detail. Perhaps a better look at exactly what the character was feeling, maybe even why (though leaving that out might help to sharpen the effect without putting unnecessary attention on things that might not matter in the long run). It just felt a little disjointed.

    Good job, though.

    Style: 8/10
    Flow: 7/10
    Uniqueness: 4/5
    Readability: 6/7
    Effect: 8/10
    Lack of Errors: 3/3
    Personal Score: 3/5
    Total: 39/50


  • Tiger-Lily gold member
    May 2

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    Wow...I feel depressed now. Very good write. If you do't mind my saying this, perhaps change font color? To make it easier on the eyes on some parts?

    HT


  • DarkestPassion
    April 28
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    wow.. i love the song of your title lol


  • moonwriter
    April 25

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    This has potential, but as a standalone, it was disorganized. The emotions were good, thought I was a little confused as to what was going on.

    I liked the character. She was relatable and understandable. We all feel like that sometimes. If you tightened some stuff up and organized it a little better, I think you'd have a really good story on your hands.

    Good job!


  • Sekhmet Kitty
    April 22

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    A good start.
    Interesting storyline, can't wait to see where it goes! Good use of emotions and descriptions.
    Hope you feel better soon and good luck!


  • Miss Belligerence
    April 13

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    first of all I don't think you're crazy, at least not from this everyone feels trapped sometimes and depressed and such and if a phone card to connect you to your boyfriend makes you happy then it should be considered money well spent- assuming that this is sorta personal.
    the piece itself was a little scattered, there was a lot of emotion but it was a little misdirected, I felt. You could probably focus it more and it would make this more intense. If you used more imagery and such that might help too. There is a lot of potential in this piece, I'd like to see you work on it a little bit more maybe. Let me know if you do
    thanks for entering my contest
    -gibson

1 - 7 of 7