Broken Promise

Flash.1

I sprinted around the corner, calling out desperately. I hoped he hadn’t taken the fight too badly; he always seemed to think things were his fault when they went wrong at home. Sometimes I could even see the pain on his face when mother yelled at him, but usually he controlled his emotions fairly well, if only for me. There were times though, that I had found him crying on the sidewalk. A grown man sobbing was enough to make me dizzy; I had always believed that they were tougher than anything, that they could be beaten until bleeding and still laugh. Especially my father.
“Dad? Where are you?” I yelled helplessly into the night. So far I hadn’t found him, but I had to keep looking; my brother Jake had trusted me to bring him home safely.2

Flash.3

“Mary, listen to me.” Jake had said to me all those nights ago. He stood in front of my alphabet blocks seriously, causing me to have to look at him. “Are you listening?”
I nodded happily; I loved my brother and didn’t like to see him mad, so listening to him was the quickest way to return his smile.
“Good. Now, have you seen how mom and dad have been lately?”
I stared at him with a puzzled expression then slowly nodded. “They’ve been…mad at me…lots.”
Jake smiled sadly and put a hand on my shoulder. “Not at you, Mary, never at you. But I still want you to promise me something.”
“Yes?”
“First, that you’ll stay out of their way until they sort this out.” A frown appeared on his face and he shook his head slightly.
“I can do that.”
“Second, if I’m not home and dad goes outside without telling anyone where he is going, I want you to follow him and bring him home.”
“Okay.”
“Do you promise?”
“Yeah, I promise.”
“Good girl.” Jake ruffled my hair lovingly and laughed at my scrunched up my face before leaving me alone with my building blocks.4

Flash.5

I touched my cheek as I remembered where I was; they were stained wet from tears that had crept their way down my face, leaving streaks and a salty taste in my mouth. My throat tightened until I could hardly breathe and sobs racked my body; shortly after my brother took my promise, he died. He was found on the floor of my bedroom, curled up in my spare blanket as if sleeping; I remember him coming in and saying he was scared of the storm and that it had kept him awake for too long. His face had dripped with sweat and his breathing came rough, almost like he was breathing through a pipe. Saying he wanted to be near someone so that he didn’t cry, he set up camp on my dark carpet. I should have known that something was wrong; Jake had never afraid been of thunder.
I found myself sitting down on the concrete, head hanging loosely in my hands. Water splashed in droplets from my eyes, forming strange patterns on the ground. The sobs had ceased and all I felt now was emptiness; my mind had all but stopped working.
I heaved myself up and wiped away the water marks with my jumper sleeve; I still had my father to find. The night was far from over.6

Flash.7

I walked through the growing darkness, calling “Dad” every now and then, hoping that perhaps he would come out of hiding voluntarily. He was taking a longer time than usual to be found and I wondered if tonight was one of his ‘game nights’, when he would shout at me from under benches, leading me slowly but surely towards him.8

Flash.9

I heard noises in the distance, the yelling becoming louder the closer I walked. My heart soared like an eagle; my father was going to be found after all. The voices beckoned to me like angels, sending me hurtling wildly towards them in the hope of seeing my father sooner. I ran like the wind of heaven.10

Flash.11

Red and blue lights play against my eyes in an eerie dance, but I tried not to notice them, I wasn’t sure what they represented anyway. Somewhere, I could remember seeing them, but nothing came to mind.
Men clothed in drabs of blue and white hurried past me, smelling slightly of sweat and smoke, but none had the bittersweet smell of drink that my father’s friends always wore. I deemed these men insignificant; none would know where my father had gone, so there was no use asking them questions. I moved through a dream, not noticing the clouds which darkened above me, nor when it started to rain. A ruined car had captured my attention; it looked almost toy-like, with it sitting upside down with the windows fragmented, as if a child had thrown it across the room and forgotten to pick it up ah. Smoke billowed up from the engine, the smell working its way into my lungs; it was like sitting next to a smoker when they forgot that they had the cigarette in their mouths. Beside the car lay a long white bag, definitely full and zipped up through the middle.12

Flash.13

No one was near the bag; they were occupied with muttering in small groups about ‘how tragic the accident was’ and ‘how the poor family would feel’. Accident? Family? Only the last meant anything to me; I was going to reunite my family tonight. Again.
I felt drawn towards the bag. How could it be so clean, yet look so full? My eyes shone with excitement as I snuck my way closer to the car. My hands began to shake and a wide grin plastered itself to my face. Perhaps there would be large stacks of money hidden away in that bag, like the ones you always see on Television but never actually get to hold. Money would be good; maybe mother wouldn’t be so mad then?14

Flash.15

I felt invisible; I had made it to the bag without a second glance, my wraith-like creeping giving the men no time to see me twice. Hid behind the bag with growing anticipation, my mouth starting to drool at the very thought of what could be in the bag. I touched the zipper lightly, then pulled back, suddenly scared.
A bright beam of light flashed in my eyes, blinding me as a squatted behind the car in an attempt to remain unseen. The flashing red and blue lights were suddenly too loud and bright for my eyes.16

Flash. Flash. Flash.17

I swam in a river of colour, and on the other side of the bank I could see the bag again. A cry of alarm went up around me, but I continued to swim, arms outstretched to their fullest. The zipper. The bag. The zipper…
“Don’t touch it, young lady.”
I wasn’t in the river anymore, but crouching under the gaze of a blue clothed man. Out of the corner of my eye I could still see the bag. I growled slightly and the man stepped backwards, acting like I was a rabid dog. I lunged for the white bag and yanked open the zip.
I screamed.
It was ear piercing even to myself; I could hear the anguish, the horror and the confusion in it. The blue man looked at me sympathetically, but I could only look at my hands. Why had I opened it?
Why did the bag have to carry the body of my cold, lifeless father?
Strong hands pulled me gently away and I let them lead me; shock still played across my face, but no tears came. I had spent them already on my brother.18

Flash. Flash. Flash.19

I sat wrapped up in a blanket, rocking back and forth slightly; the shock had left but my father's face had remained. It would haunt me for some time, i knew.
A police car drove by, its red and blue lights flashing.
I shivered.
I remembered my promise to Jake with a start. Fresh tears worked their way down my face.
I hadn't kept it.20

Flash. Flash. Flash.