There She Was

Inspired By : " Killing Loneliness", By: Immortal Obscurity11

John was so confused, his head seemed to spin in circles. He knew it wasn't the nearly half gallon of alcohol he had just drunk, he knew it wasn't the cocaine he had sniffed time after time, he knew it was his Brandy. Oh, his sweet Brandy. He dreamed of carressing her in his arms, feeling the length of her beautiful honey-shampooed hair, kissing her sweet fingertips, and telling her how much he really loved her. If only it wasn't for Kyle, Brandy's fiancee. Kyle had done the usual, proposed on one knee, all that romantic jazz that John knew Brandy loved. But, John had to let Brandy know he loved her from the bottom of his heart. How much she meant to him, how he got goosebumps every time he saw her. He had to tell her, tonight, at the rehearsal dinner. If he didn't, they would get married tomorrow, at the top of the Eifiel Tower, as planned, and they would be the happiest couple in the world, leaving John behind.22

John sighed and glanced at his watch. One hour before the rehearsal dinner. He had to come up with what to say to Brandy. John couldn't even think straight, there was so much he wanted to tell her, but he had to make it quick. He took a shower, changed into a tux and collected a single rose from the vase on his nightstand. He stuck it in his tux pocket, he was going to give it to Brandy as soon as he could. Then, he sat down on his bed, and grabbed a pen and a notepad. He jotted down this poetic piece he intended to give to Brandy at the rehearsal dinner:33

" My sweet Brandy, my darling friend. You are my treasure, my hoping soulmate to the end. When I look at you, my heart melts like ice cream in fire. I sweat, my soul longing for desire. My sweet Brandy, even though you had no idea through and through. I love you." 44

He sealed the note in an envelope and licked it shut. Then, he took a deep breath and made his way out the front door. He drove to the Country Club, where the rehearsal dinner was taking place. He stepped up to the wide doors of the Country Club, where there was a man, holding the guest list. " Name please?" the man asked John. He replied firmly, " John Withers." The man nodded and held open the door. John stepped inside, eyes widened. The room was full of people, dressed in fancy evening gowns and tuxedos. The sounds of clinking champagne glasses and laughter could be heard from all around.55

Then, John gulped. He spotted Brandy, she was standing next to her fiancee, laughing and drinking a merlot wine. John stared just a bit, damn, she looked so gorgeous. She had a sparkling emerald green dress on, and her hair was pinned up on top of her head. Her high heels she was wearing made her look even more tall and important. John took the rose out of his tux pocket, and strided over to Brandy. Everything seemed to go in slow motion, as Brandy shook her head around, her eyes glimmering in the bright lights of the Country Club. She looked up from her wine and saw John coming towards her. John saw her entire face, shiny and perfect. That's when memories came flooding back to him. The days when they were both children, playing in sandboxes, throwing the sand at one another. Playing tag on summer evenings in Brandy's backyard.66

John remembered it all, even when they were both fourteen years old, when John first fell for Brandy.77

He could still remember the feeling he got inside him, that dumbstruck teenage hopeless love. But, he knew now that puppy love had now grown to something a whole lot more. John finally reached Brandy, who looked up and said, " Oh, hey John, glad you could make it." She smiled, revealing her perfect diamond-like teeth. John said, " Hey Brandy, listen, I need to talk to you about something. It's important." " Is something wrong?" asked Brandy, her eyes widening. John shook his head and pulled her to the side, in a quiet hallway, where there was nobody else around. " What are you doing John?" John said, " This will explain it." He pulled out the note from his tux pocket and the rose and handed them both to her. Brandy opened the envelope and silently read it to herself. After a few moments, John could hear her muffled cries. " Oh John.... this is so touching, this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me." John smiled and tilted Brandy's face up to his. " Brandy, I..... I love you, I've loved you since we were fourteen, and I had to tell you before you got married."88

John put his arms around her torso and squeezed her tight. Then, with his eyes shut, he kissed Brandy on the lips, his tounge dancing with hers. All of a sudden, Brandy pulled away and shook her head, tears streaming down her face. " Sorry, John, I'm so sorry, I love Kyle." With that, she walked away, still crying. John felt tears coming to his eyes, how could she do this to him. He couldn't belive this, all he had done to win her love and this is what he got in return? He shook his head and cried, moaning in sorrow.

Author notes

Okay, sorry about that, my favorite animal is cats.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Tiger-Lily gold member
    June 18

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    For some reason, the first para creeped me out at the start...O.O John kinda sounded like a stalker there for a bit...

    "strided" = "strode".

    This is a great story, and was going along great...but the ending kinda killed it. It's a bit..wan, to be frank. Not as well worded. Why would she let him kiss her if she liked Kyle? O.o

    Maybe more descriptive language there would help...

    But overall a great story. Poor guy.

    -HT


  • Quixotic Greeters member
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed the emotion of the story, but foudn the ending to be kinda weak. Don't get me wrong, i enjoyed it, but i was just expecting more. Your descriptions are wonderful and the flow was very nice,,,,easy to read...thanks for entering.


    • Katty
      June 18
      Edit | Reply
      Yeah, I have gotten that a LOT, thanks for confessing the ending was terrible, i get it. I think I will edit this a tad. Thanks!

      *KAT*


  • whatami
    June 15
    Edit | Reply
    Touching<3

    Ace descriptions. I could see the whole story in my mind. I adored the letter. The ending was not so climatic, and the story flowed pretty smoothly and slowly. You write like you know what you want. That's great, but this didn't really have much emotion for me. Hm. Great job and good luck.


  • Glow in The Dark
    June 14

    Edit | Reply
    Aww! So sad! It's so touching how much he loves her!
    Plus, I was listening to this song while I reading it....

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4tvTv0PjMs

    Good luck!


  • Serier Amanlabin
    June 10
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    good job

    This was a good job I really liked the story, only thing I would do would be to lengthen it.


  • nixers
    May 30
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    I like it! I enjoyed reading it and it was gripping. Maybe you could make it a bit longer so that we can find out a bit more about how John feels, he's lost his one true love after all. I think perhaps the idea is a bit cliche, but overall it was good. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.


  • NinjaMegami
    May 9
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    mmmmnnnnnn...

    i don't know what to say.....


  • CrazySouthernGirl
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    Okay, first things first. I thought your idea was pretty decent, the forbidden love thing. However, it was a bit unrealistic at times. I don't know if this was something that happenend to you personally or what, but not one of my best entries, I'm sorry to say. Also, you I think you need to add more to this. What happens after John finds out Brandy doesn't love him? Do Kyle and Brandy get married or not? You kinda leave us hanging there on the end, with nothing to really go by. Thanks for entering my contest!!


  • Miss Hanako Megumi
    May 3
    Edit | Reply
    Very enchanting, a good mixture of love and fairytale. Also sad at times though too, so.. good job!


  • Starlight-Kisses
    April 18
    Edit | Reply
    ohhh that was so sad poor john why couldn't brandy love him back but i guess thats what happens when i ask for sad stories isnt it anyways well done it was really sweet nice job but you forgot one thing i want your favorite animal in your author notes i'll check this again later but please put it in your notes well done and good luck

1 - 11 of 11