The Iron Hat

Time ticks on and on1

You feel your heart being trampled upon by the madness of your pathetic lies.2

I can't take it anymore, you deserve to die in sheer agony, with the iron hat upon your head, filled with pressure.3

I want to hear your last heartbeat, next to mine, ever so softly, as I thrust the blade in, as blood drips out your big mouth.4

Your ego has grown to infinite numbers, still time ticks on and on.5

I look up to the starlit sky, in wonder of the curious scams you played on so many others besides myself.6

I hate to become a muderer to my best friend, my lover, my hope diamond.7


8


But I must, I must end your misery to others, your scams, your hoaxes, your stupid fibs.9


10


As time ticks on and on, the iron hat falls to the floor, finally vanished forever.11


Author notes

Option # 10

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Intrepid
    September 27

    Edit | Reply
    Well written
    Intersting
    I found something rather distubring but sparkling in your words.

    GOOD LUCK
    Temaria - Blair


  • Talisa Tourniquet
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    Haha, This made me smile alot. I really did like the emotion like everyone said, and i like your side tiling with the swords.
    Great story and good luck!!!<333


  • KissMeInThe-Rain
    July 11

    Edit | Reply
    This was a very interesting poem that you written it had good detail and it all went good together


  • Adelaide Blood
    July 6
    Edit | Reply
    dark and twisted but still meaningful! thank you for the entry!


  • Tiger-Lily gold member
    July 4
    Edit | Reply
    Wow...well done! Very good work here. Beautiful imagery, great detail...brilliantly done.

    -HT


  • Melancholic Smile
    July 4
    Edit | Reply
    Ohh creepy! This was deep dark and twisted with great descriptions. I especially like the line: You feel your heart being trampled upon by the madness of your pathetic lies. That is really good. Well done on a great piece of writing and good luck in my contest!


  • CrazySouthernGirl
    July 1
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is so deep! Wow, beautiful! Best of luck and thanks for entering!

    ~lil~


  • Naive.
    June 27
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Amazing. I love the dark, twisted emotion in this.

    My fav. line: "Your ego has grown to infinite numbers, still time ticks on and on."

    Beautiful in such a dark way. Incredible job.

    Thanks for entering my contest and good luck!

    -jj


  • Yoko
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    It was soooooo wonderful! enjoyed reading this. The ending was sooooo sad. *tear up You had a lot of voice. I loooooove poems. I just hate writing them, because I suck. You did wonderful! You should be proud. Keep writing. Hehe, mew!


  • IxLovexElphiex
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    ooh very creepy.
    i love how it can be taken literally or figuratively, like breaking up.
    love that second line. very good work!
    thanks for entering and good luck!


  • GrimDeath
    May 13
    Edit | Reply
    Well written. The details were great. Thank you for entering and Good Luck


  • ForgottenVoice silver member
    May 10
    Edit | Reply
    i very much love this. good job!


  • Friesian gold member
    April 26
    Edit | Reply

    O.o

    Sinister and dark and Oh so sweet! Thank you! It was fabulous!


  • CrimsonxxxTearsxxx
    April 14

    Edit | Reply

    dark!!

    I love the dark love stories and poems.. they give character and pizazzz!! Good job!

    Thanks for entering!!!

    Christa


  • Adelaide Blood
    April 12
    Edit | Reply

    Well...

    Dark and evil in the best of ways! Very nice ^^


  • ShadowQueen12
    April 11
    Edit | Reply
    WHOA! This poem is amazing. It's full of intense emotion. Good write!

1 - 17 of 17