Uncharted Streets

“I’m just gonna go for a walk.”1

Those were the last words that Sean said to his roommate. He loved to go on walks. Whether they were on his college campus or the streets that lay around them, as dangerous as they were, he loved to just get away from the distractions around him to allow his thoughts to run free throughout his head. He was never horribly depressed when taking these walks, nor was he immersed in happiness. He decided to go on these walks when he felt that he was merely floating through existence, feeling numb. He found this intolerable and would do whatever he could to escape this sort of feeling.2

He threw on his jacket while running through the door and bursting into the night air. The quad presented itself calmly to the patron. A small layer of fog draped across the area turning typical street lights into floating beams that traversed the quad and occasionally intersected creating a dull glow. He took a deep breath as if he was breathing in the image and then continued on his journey. 3

He found himself on the border of the campus sitting atop a stone wall. Although he was feeling emotionally numb, he could still feel the cold of the hard stone he was sitting on. However, it didn’t seem to faze him in the least. He had greater concerns for his body temperature. Could he solve these problems by sitting on a stone wall in the wee hours of the morning? Probably not. But it was something that felt like it could help at the time. 4

He took a look at his surroundings. He sees the group of college students that are leaving a house and getting into a car after having too much to drink. Only to be stopped by their responsibly sober friend who wrestles the keys from him and guides him back into the house. While he screams he’s fine, the girls rattle off with drunken incoherent chatter, most likely defenses for their alleged driver. Sean chuckles at the site but lets it blend into the background and he looks the other way to see a couple holding each other in their arms and sharing a few goodbye kisses. He thinks back to a time when he was home on break and was in the same position, and perhaps still could’ve been.5

Sean and Sarah stood in the lawn face to face. The night sky and others that were leaving the party were their only surroundings. Their passion for each other was unparallel to anything they have every felt for any other person. He moves towards her for a hug which turns into a kiss. Sean sighs afterwards and, within an embrace, whispers into her ear, “We can’t keep doing this.” 6

She responds with an innocent and shaking voice, “I know.”7

“We agreed that this was a bad call.”8

“I just can’t…”9

Sean backs from the hug and stares into her eyes, “Sarah, I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”10

“I don’t want to lose you as a friend either but….” She tries to find the other words throwing her hair back and looking up at him revealing watery eyes, “How can you make this look so easy?”11

“Because I know it’s the right call. It sucks big time but we will regret it so much if we keep something like this going. I know it.”12

They embrace for a moment as Sarah whispers in his ear, “I love you, Sean.” 13

Sean backs away from the hug again in a nonchalant matter, as if he didn’t hear the statement, “Well, I’ll see you when I get back for spring break, alright?” He smiles and nudges her chin. He sees a single tear pass by the lines formed from a forced smirk. He tries to hold his smile until he turns and walks away. He doesn’t dare look back because he will never want that image in his mind. He gets into his car and hits his steering wheel several times until his eyes are dry again.14

He shuffles himself and tries to shake such a painful memory from his mind. He looks away from the happy couple for he can’t even bear to see the way things could’ve been. Across the road, an empty street lays before him. He only sees a brief portion, for it goes downhill and the end of it cannot be seen. Street lights border each side of it, shining on the concrete, allowing the concrete to glow and revealing cracks that ran along it in different directions.15

Throughout his examination of the street, he began to hear something. Without leaving his seat, he looked left and right to search for an origin of this sound, an incoherent whisper. There was no one to be found, not even the headlights of a car. His head lowers again, dismissing the sound and his memory of it. He begins to hear the whisper again; it is almost entirely dull yet completely clear to him. “Just go.” Its command is so simple, yet so vague. He racks his brain constantly. What does this voice mean? Where is it coming from? Go where? His raises and scans across the street at that same empty street. Perhaps he was attempting to follow the orders of this voice. Maybe he wanted to explore an uncharted territory. Regardless, he jumped from the stone wall and set a course for an unknown empty street.16

After easily crossing the normally busy road, he stands in the middle of the street. He scans his surroundings; dark houses hidden beyond glowing streetlights. He begins to walk down the street, not having a reason for doing it. Each step smacks the concrete at a consistent pace. Maybe it was the approach of a downhill slope, or the adrenaline from the sound of his footsteps but he began to grow fasters. Footprints grow more frequent as he breaks into a light jog. The dark scenery transforms into an orange glow as it blows past his peripherals. He wasn’t even attempting or trying to run but he just let the moment take him through the motions. Because of his adrenaline, he raises his arms, hoping to embrace the orange glow that flies past him. 17

Unfortunately, this moment turns tragic. For the sound of a single pair or rapid footsteps is joined by another set of rapid footprints. By the time Sean notices this it is too late. He turns around while still running a hunched over hooded figure is running right behind him. Instantaneously, the figure opens and switch blade and sinks the silver into the Sean’s stomach. The pain serves as a distraction to where his legs are going and he trips over himself, falling on his back. The figure hardly utters a sound, bends over the victim and fishes through a pocket until he finds his wallet, then just as quickly the figure is gone. Sean, still in shock, only mutters groans and lies on the concrete, where only moments ago he was free.18

He holds the wound and crawls to the side of the road. He painfully coughs and forces himself up an over the curb, where he finds an unlikely niche in the roots of a tree, where he can lean up against. The pain is unbearable for him. So much so that he knows that these are the last few moments he will be on earth. Naturally, he faces these moments with fear. However, not the fear of death that lies before him, but the fear of the life that lay behind him. He wonders what he could have done differently. What could he have done better? The fear of death is diffused by the regret of his lifestyle.19

At least the thief had the decency to leave him his cell phone. Sean is taking biology and knows very well that, judging by where the knife went in, there was no way of surviving what he just went through. He knows that calling for help would be pointless. The next person he thinks to call is his family. But knowing very well that it would cripple them to have to say good-bye to their son he doesn’t call them. He thinks of what friends he could call. He knows too many and he doesn’t want to put them through the same pain he would’ve put his family through. Then, he thinks of the one “friend” he needed to call.20

“Hello” Sarah answered on the other line with a deep voice from just waking up.21

He was relieved she picked up at such an hour, “Hey Sarah.”22

“Hey Sean! How are you?” she says playfully assuming he is drunk.23

“Not good, Sarah. Not good.”24

Her playful tone changes to serious, “Why? What’s wrong?”25

“Sare, I should tell you a few things that I feel need to be said.” It’s becoming harder for him to speak now. 26

“Sean, you’re drunk. You should call me tomorrow morning….”27

He interrupts, “No! I’m not drunk. I didn’t…” He pauses to gasp for air. “I didn’t go out tonight. I didn’t drink.”28

She begins to grow worried “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” 29

“Don’t worry about that, right now. I need to say this.” Silence conquers the other line. Sean knows it is his chance to talk now. “Sarah, I never told you this. But the last few months…… before I left for college were the best of my life. Being next to you…..lying in your arms…. your head on my shoulder….. you, curled up on my lap, that is the greatest place I ever knew and I regret having discovered that now but it is the truth. I never told you this Sarah. But….. I love you. I love you so much. I love you more than a friend. I love you more than a significant other, because I feel like you are a part of me.”30

The silence on the other end is extinguished by her crying. She breathes in heavily to ask a very difficult question, “Sean, is the last time I am going to speak to you?”31

He pauses, “Yeah, Sarah. I am so sorry. I am going to miss you so much. I called you because if I were to pick anyone’s voice to hear for the last time, it would be yours.”32

Sarah can barely open her mouth, because if she does so, she will lose control, “Sean, I love you. I love you so much.” Tears flow down her face for a second time because of this boy. They are tears of grief for he will be gone, but tears of joy for she knows how he truly feels about him. 33

Sean begins to cough and gasp for air, “I have to go, Sarah.”34

“Wait, please don’t leave me. Don’t hang up the phone. I don’t want it to end.”35

“It’s never gonna end, hun. I’m gonna be here always. Just like you will be with me.” He couldn’t stand her pleas to stay alive any longer and so he hung up the phone before she could respond.36

“Sean. Sean.” The line was dead. She fell to the floor and dropped the phone. She weeps while lying on the floor “Sean, I love you. I’ll never forget you.”37

A woman in her middle ages, walking her dog, gasps at the sight of stabbing victim on the side of the road, lying up against a tree. The dog, at first, barks at the body, but then silences in respect when he picks up the scent of death. After she gets over the initial shock, she notices some peculiar things. One hand of the body is holding the stab wound and the other hand is holding a closed cell phone. Then she sees that his eyes are closed, accompanied with the slightest smile on his face. 38