Confidence is known to bring happiness. Lacking insecurities, and holding your head high with pride. The word itself emanates quite a positive shine from its meaning. Unless, however, you are speaking of Confidence Morrison.1
I'll never forget the day I really saw Confidence. She was standing in the lunch line about 10 yards from me. I glanced in her direction, and noticed a piece of paper taped to the back of her white hoodie. The paper had one word, scrawled in messy cursive: FREAK.2
I instantly felt pity for the poor girl, but no more than what I felt for the Chess Club kids when the Varsities picked on them. I mumbled "jerks" under my breath, then went back to making tracks in my mashed potatoes, and dreaming about the car I was hoping to buy once i got a job.3
Suddenly, my thoughts were shattered by the loud clang of a lunch tray hitting the floor, followed by a roar of laughter from the Varsities, whom the majority of the cafeteria followed. I even heard the Chess Club snorting with amusement.4
Quickly, I shifted my gaze to where the Varsities were howling, and immediately wished I hadn't. Standing before me was the most pitiful sight I'd ever seen. There was Confidence, her white hood pulled over her head, covered in mystery meat and mashed potatoes. Her shoulders were hunched forward and shaking. She seemed to be crying, but no one would know, with her hood covering her eyes. 5
Slowly, Confidence walked towards the lunchroom doors. As she passed me, she looked in my direction, with the most solemn face I'd ever seen. I felt a pang in my stomach and I thought I was going to cry. The poor girl. She didn't say a word as she exited the cafeteria. I don't know where she went the rest of that day, but I knew that wouldn't be the last time I saw her solemn face.6
Author notes
guess i was inspired by my own name. haha, hope you enjoy it's my first story up here, i hope to write chapter 2 soon.
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Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Rather well written
Hey this is a pretty good start for your first story!...lol and that is cute lol that's it a talent to be inspired by yourself.lol And very easy to read I really enjoyed itbeginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, overall: 7, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I really liked the beginning of this.. but I hate those stupid bullies.. garrrghhh.. I like the start, it was nice, and didnt bore me a bit. Good job.
-Julia -
A heartfelt story, a good setup. While the piece is lacking in description, that doesn't seem to matter too much. The first paragraph was great; it makes the reader do a bit of a double-take. This story could go anywhere, absolutely anywhere at all. I hope you don't wreck what is a great start by taking this down the typical teen angst road, and keep up with the very nice piece of work that this is!
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WOW!! You have major talent I am speechless. Great write, I saw the title and feel in love at first sight and HAD to read this, and I am so glad I did. Great imagery, and meaning, and I liked the points you were got to get across. Great job , and keep writing, wouldn’t want the world to collapse without your brilliant mind! Best of wishes and great great job !!!!!!!!!!
Don't worry, I overlooked the errors, though they're were a few I wont mention them because the story was so so great! I'm not good at editing anyways, hehe it culd be perfect and I'm just stupid. Anyways, great story!!!!!!! I'll buy you're book when you're famous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
YES! PLEASE! On with chapter two.
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Very good- could implement some more description... that's about it... this whole Chapter as you call it could be twice as large as it is now, and really capture the emotion of the situation a lot better... not that you don't, but there's always room for improvement! Nice character and plot set-up though! Try adding a little more to it, and I awaite a continuation of this... as I hope there will be one! Nice work though love, keep it up!
~Andrew -
It was very nice first chapter I might say. I like where you are going witht his story, the person that feels pity for the loser everyone picks on, and decides to do something about it. But, this girl is nothing like you nikki! I like where your going, please continue!
I love you!
Morgan...
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