My dearest husband,1
Do you believe that there’s only one person for everyone? 2
I did. When I met you, I was sure that I had found the one person that I would spend the rest of my life with. You were amazing. You were always complimenting me and buying me gifts. Spoilt me rotten, you did. 3
I couldn’t believe my luck. I had found the perfect guy. I loved you. And do you want to know the best thing? You loved me back. I know you did. 4
We were perfect together, everyone thought so. I really did think that it was just going to be the two of us together forever. Exactly like you promised that day. 5
Do you remember that day? 6
I do. It was the day of Harriet’s ‘wedding’, but she got scared and ran away. We were engaged at the time. I was already worried about the idea of marriage and I thought that if Harriet could do it then I would be able to as well. 7
I was the one who with her before hand, I saw how panicked she was. I was there to hold her hand afterwards when she fell apart. 8
That night when I came home I had decided that we weren’t going to get married; if Harriet couldn’t do it then neither could I. I told you I was going to call the whole thing off. And you said ‘okay’. 9
I couldn’t believe it. 10
You told me that if that was what I wanted, then that’s what would happen. You said that you wanted to make me happy, no matter what that meant. 11
We sat up all night talking. 12
Do you remember what you said?13
I do. You told me that you did want to marry me; you wanted to have children and grow old together. You painted a nice little picture. And to my surprise, over the next few days I found myself wanting to be part of that picture more and more. 14
One year later, we got married and I wasn’t even scared.15
I’m scared today though. 16
Do you know why? Do you watch over me?17
I think you do. I think that you know today is my wedding day and I would like to this that you are okay with the idea. At least I hope you are. 18
He’s a good man; he’s a lot like you. He’s sweet, romantic and spoils me – just like you used to.19
And he loves me.20
I know I don’t love him the same way as I did you, but he’s nice and… well I like having someone around the house again; someone to talk to. Maybe that’s not the best reason to be marrying someone, but I’m not getting any younger. 21
Will you be mad at me? If I marry him, I mean.22
I hope not. I’m not betraying you, you know? You were the love of my life and I will never forget you – that would be impossible. And he’s not replacing you; again, that would be impossible. 23
Please don’t be angry with me, I don’t want you to be mad at me. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I though you hated me. 24
I really am sorry. Please forgive me. 25
I love you. 26
Always, your wife.27
Author notes
This is a fictional piece. All inspired by a conversation that I had with my Gran. She never did re-marry and I asked her about it the other day... this is the result.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Aw, straight to the heart, pal!
I can feel theemotion throbbing away.
Great work!
HT -
How could he?
Be mad at you, I mean. If the price of your happiness is his mild disappointment, do you really think he'd count that as an insurmountable barrier? Shame on you if the answer is yes!
Introspection's unfashionable, to the sad loss of the fashion conscious. As a man who has nursed those who didn't face their vital questions, I can only thank you for having the courage to post this; God knows I wouldn't. I prefer my truths in tales and parables, but I salute anyone with more courage and honesty than I have; that gives me the world to choose from.
Once again, thank you for sharing this, particularly for making it clear that love after loss isn't second best, nor replacement, but that it has a value that can't be measured in the same way as the original. -
I think...
...I have now read all that you have posted and continue to be greatly impressed at the depth of your feeling and questions about human relationships and the tender and sensitive way you deal with them.
I wonder...with a small, sad amusement, considering your posted age...if you, in this piece are not in fact, asking that timeless question we all ask at one time or another...
Does that one perfect soul mate, the love of my life, wait out there, somewhere for me...?
Is such a thing possible or merely the province of poets and dreamers?
At least you have the insight/foresight, to query such a huge and fundamental question and I applaud you for that.
Excellent work...please inform me when you have a new one for me to read...
amicus...
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I suppose part of me was asking myself that. But I actually got the idea from a conversation with my grandma. She was widdowed when she was twenty something and I always wondered why she didn't remarry. When I did finally ask her she said that she always thought he would be mad at her if she did remarry. So, yeah, this was the result of that conversation.
Thanks for the comment.
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This is sad in a sweet kind of way. I don't think I could ever re-marry. This was well writen, there were a few errors, mainly typos I think, but nothing big.
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Wow this is written so beautifully and it's very emotional. I can feel the pain she is feeling in this letter. An amazing write that you have here. I can tell you have great talents.
~Joann
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Moving and personal. A highly tentative narrative.
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